Duty to tell?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

lost,

Yes, he was born into a muslim family, but does not himself follow islam. Correct, they do not know about his personal religious beliefs, they assume he is muslim, so do all his friends.

No, he is not planning to reveal it to anyone else, I am not 100% sure why he revealed it to me. He participates in 'muslim functions'.

belle,

From what he has told me, the girls side believe he is muslim, just as his parents do.

ChannMahi,

No he is not Ahmadi. He doesnt prescribe to any particular religious dogma.

Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another

This is not my Paradise

22

Jeez what a crappy situation to be in..

Munni.. I’d tell your friend to tell that girl otherwise YOU will…

DOnt let that girl get married to this guy without her knowing..

If you were in that girls position - wouldnt you want to be told?

She really has a right to know
I feel sorry for her.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/frown.gif

23

Munni,

Read Pristine's post again. If the girl ** really cared**, the topic would have and should have been discussed by them. It is not your responsibility (and not your business) to act on her behalf. By doing so, you will create problems between them over an issue, which doesn't even exist.

However, do ask your friend if his fiancee ASKED him about his religious beliefs and he lied to her. Only then you have a duty to tell that girl. But I doubt that is the case.

There are lots of muslims who would marry people as long as they are apparently muslims and don't really care about their partners' beliefs. It may not seem right to you, but it's not your business.

[This message has been edited by *Zaalim (edited May 04, 2002).]

24

If the girl or her family does'nt ask the guy questions like this then where have we as Muslim gone wrong? Of course he should tell her, its haram to keep anything from each other when it comes to marriage. And if he is not Muslim then it is WRONG for him to marry a Muslim female. A Muslim woman marrys ONLY a Muslim man!

"By Allah I long to escape the prison of my ego and lose myself in the mountains and deserts , these sad and lonely people tire me" ---Rumi

25

[quote]
Originally posted by *Zaalim:
**Munni,

Read Pristine's post again. If the girl ** really cared**, the topic would have and should have been discussed by them. It is not your responsibility (and not your business) to act on her behalf. By doing so, you will create problems between them over an issue, which doesn't even exist.

However, do ask your friend if his fiancee ASKED him about his religious beliefs and he lied to her. Only then you have a duty to tell that girl. But I doubt that is the case.

There are lots of muslims who would marry people as long as they are apparently muslims and don't really care about their partners' beliefs. It may not seem right to you, but it's not your business.

[This message has been edited by Zaalim (edited May 04, 2002).]*
[/quote]

Zaalim,

I dont know the girl and will most likely not meet her for years to come as I wont be attending the wedding.

Anyway, this is an traditionally arranged marriage they are having and the bride and groom havent spoken to eachother much. I have spoken with my friend and he is having issues because he KNOWS the girl thinks he is muslim and so has never asked him "are you muslim or not" because he has made it evident that the children will be raised as sunni muslims (as she is sunni muslim), and the family has made it evident that they are muslim.

He has been asking me advice on what I think of the situation and how I would feel if I was the girl. I dont know yet what course of action he is thinking of taking.

I would like to add that this has happened with another friend of mine a few years ago, almost the same exact situation, except back then my friend didnt ask me for any advice, but I did ask him if he knew that in islam a girl is not to marry a non-muslim. He knew but didnt think it was of issue. I dont know if she ever found out that her husband isnt muslim.

Anyway, I am finding this is more prevalent than I thought. In the end, its two people that have to ask the questions to eachother, but I do feel sometimes a sense of duty comes in, in certain situations. smile

Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another

This is not my Paradise

26

Munni,
So he is planning to raise his children as Sunni Muslims?

27

Yes, it IS your duty. Please tell the girl ASAP !!!

28

Munni i think u shud talk to ur frnd first and if he dosent agree...
SHOW HIM THIS THREAD!!!

....Tu Haseen Hai Magar...Ye To Kuch Bhi Nahi...

29

Thats odd...do they not care about religion in terms of getting to know each other like belle asked in her reply....and does the guys new religion deem lying to be ok?

The girl is at fault in way...she needs to be given a hint to discuss religion with her husband to be....sad that they haven't even reached that point.....is religion not a part of choosing your mate anymore? Hmmmm simply mind boggling

peace

I'm not a playa, I just crush a lot.

30

Munni has the most intriguing guy friends ever smile

The Mothership is now boarding

31

Yes u should tell her. why…

well if the guy is not muslim The nikah is not valid. it means they will be doing a zina all their life. (Although the girl wont be punished cos she didnt know)

but what u think would happen to u ? for not telling her that she will be doing zina all her life ?.. think …

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/bravo.gif

32

Munni, you should do whatever you can to persuade those involved not to go ahead with the marriage. Because he is not muslim, the marriage will simply not be valid.

Remember, Abu Sa'id al-Khudri reported that he heard the Prophet (SAWS) say:
Whosoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart - and that is for the weakest of faith

If you, as a Muslim, see something that is evil, then if you can you should do whatever you can oppose it and stop it.

33

Cent % agreed.
Simply the marriege will not be valid, one who will be at the highest of faith will do anything in his hands to stop it, an average muslim atleast should tell others about it to stop it, someone at lowest level of beleive atleast think its not right in his/her heart. now u decide where u fit in

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34

lost,

Yes, he is planning to raise his children as sunni muslim, as the girl is sunni muslim.

Asado,

They believe he is sunni muslim, as the parents are sunni muslim. He simply hasnt brought it up that he isnt. I only know what he has told me.

Asado, at one point even my family told me not to bring up religion until way later in the talks. My parents tend to assume the boys are muslim if their parents are. However, I did ask at first meeting, eventhough it went against my parents wishes. Peace. smile

PA,

I think everyone is intruiging, its what they are willing to share that raises the brow. smile

JonyBr,

That is what I am wondering...what will happen to me if I dont say anything to him. I simply dont have contact with the girl.

Thanks for sharing mAd_ScIeNtIsT, and thank you all for your advice/suggestions/pov.

Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another

This is not my Paradise