Re: Durood
Lemme ask you this then...Do you not find that view to be idealistic? There are people who will spend months and even years making dua for a specific thing. Allah meri shadi falan banday se karvaa de. Allah mujhay falan bana de...falan jagah naukri dilaa de. They'll wake up for tahaujjad and make that dua. They'll make it during sujjood, during rain, while fasting. That particular dua/wish becomes their zidd. And in the process, they don't consider other options...cuz it is only that particular person/job/goal that they want. They become so consumed by that desire and making dua for it that they end up wasting months and even years of their life and it's not granted to them. Is it not impractical, harmful even?
There are many folks that advise against asking Allah persistently for a particular thing; instead they say it's better to say, "Allah give it to me if it's good for me. Do what is best for me." The counter argument is that Allah is closer to us than our jugular vein and He knows what's in our hearts, you can't lie to Him. He knows that your neutrality is an 'act' and that you'd much rather receive the specific thing you want, so when your creator knows you well just ask Him for exactly what you want. I've mixer feelings about this. I do believe that on should ask Allah for whatever their heart desires, but at the same time I know there's a danger in getting emotionally attached to a dua and to not have it fulflled.
There's a saying that is said to be hadith qudsi but I haven't confirmed. You may have heard it too:
Aye ibn-e-Adam
aik teri chahat hai aur aik meri chahat hai Par hoga wohi...jo MERI chahat hai Agar tu ne supard kar dia khud ko...jo MERI chahat hai To main bakhsh doon ga tujhay jo teri chahat hai
Agar tu ne apni chahat ki zid ki To main tujhe thakaa doon ga teri khwaish main Phir hoga wohi jo MERI chahat hai
I've heard sufis advise people of detaching from their desires when they make dua, to not obsess over them. They say that when you make your dua and became 'careless and carefree' about it and leave outcome to Allah, woh cheez amooman qadmon main aa kar girti hai. And when you obsess over a dua, it runs away from you as will anything you chase. There may be some truth to this.
Peace Tempe5t
Yes ... The story was an anecdote to explain why Allah (SWT) may not grant du'a. And this is usually for those people who are already considered awliya. For the layman there are some respects of this too, but other things are just as significant.
First and foremost ...
Is what we seek jaiz? Is it halal?
to find out study Islam.
Secondly is it beneficial for you?
To find out ask people and get their advice, study the subject of your du'a very carefully. Think by asking for this and eventually getting it ... will my character improve towards Allah (SWT) or not? Will it enable me to focus on Him more?
Next use the du'a and dawa principle ... Seek help from Him and put some positive rational effort towards getting what you want. For example ... You want to get a specific job ... Then customise your CV for it and prepare for the interview - be excellent in what you desire ... Don't just desire it and do nothing to back up your intnetions.
If things don't happen ... Then learn to marvel in that state. That Allah (SWT) is intervening in your plans and requests. The wisdom here is not to stop du'a but to modify it.
Or have a superior du'a to begin with ... It is a very low du'a to ask fulfilment of your desires, but it is a higher du'a to ask for forgiveness, and an excellent du'a is to seek contentment and rida through asking Allah (SWT) to give you those desires that conform to His Qadr.
Rather than seeking to change ones fate, how about seeking to change ones state to accept his/her fate? Note ... The du'as don't stop. All the time recognise that our du'a are deficient ... So our zidd will be a holding on to deficiency. Du'a can be better utilised for others too rather than for our own selves.
But if you or anyone around is not getting something ... The major pitfall is this ... The actual effort is not there. We should change from seeking specifics to seeking general things. We should not ask for this or him or her or it ... But ask for someone like him or her or it or better than that. Like a good businessperson we do not narrow down our market but expand our target audience and catchment area. Make sure it is halal and then do du'a that it is in our favour and commit. Trusting Him all the way.
You will find in this world many things are as easy as plucking fruit from a tree. But that state of realisation is not always easy to come by.