Durood

[psyah]

Re: Durood

@Tempe5t

I know of people who came very, very, very close to getting married and they didn’t. A friend of mine was jilted on her wedding day. There are cases where the baraat has gone back. I know of people who faced sooo many obstacles but ended up marrying each other in spite of them. My cousin rejected a rishta. Three years later she received rishta from the same guy and married him after receiving a green signal from istikhara. It was a disaster; the guy had two previously failed marriages. Keeping these examples in mind, perhaps marriage is predetermined the same way as our rizq and time of birth and death has been predetermined. At least that’s what I’ve heard some folks say. In surah Ya Sin, Allah says that He has created all pairs from the earth, from ourselves, and from that which we do not know. So, does this imply that mates are predestined by Allah? What about the Muslim that marries a Hindu woman who takes no interest in converting and practicing Islam…would Allah destine a marriage that is essentially invalid? There are girls who try sooo hard to find rishta, but nothing happens. There are girls who put no effort and rishta comes and things happen. Even when one puts forth their best effort, the other person may reject you. Sometimes it happens that the the person you’re engaged to be married to has a change of heart and ends things. It’s said that Allah is muqallibul quloob or ‘controller of the hearts.’ How much of our actions and decisions are due to free-will and what percent is due to predestination…we will never know. I think that Qadar is a subject that even the muftis and ulema don’t have complete knowledge about because you can counter their argument with various examples. It’s said that Rasool SAWS told us not to think about destiny and the soul because complete knowledge of these two intricate things is only with Allah.

Peace Tempe5t

There are some problems with the way you are expressing the understanding of free will and predestination here. And it is quite clear what they are … You have also not included in the concept of qaza and the idea of disastrous events is also not correctly understood by your post.

The pervading absolute is that Allah (SWT) Knows what we will do … whether we get close to marriage and don’t, whether a Muslim will marry a Hindu - and so on that you described above.

It is our responsibility to seek rishte and marry in accordance with the qaza of Allah (SWT) - That is in accordance with the best traditions, rules and guidelines and those methods that are undertaken and sanctioned by the Prophet (SAW), his companions (RA), the Salaf and the Awliya …

Then that is not to say a marriage will work … however, we can optimise our chances to keep a marriage longer by observing the rights of the spouse. And even then that is no guarantee to keep a marriage. If Allah (SWT) can make the Muslims lose battles in a war then He can also be in control of making the marriage and at the same time predestine for it a short existence and end it in some way - either through divorce or widowhood.

It is not for us to say that a marriage was not meant to be if it didn’t last 6 months. Rather we should look to see what we could have done to make it last. If we find that it would not have lasted and a given couple just are not compatible - even then one cannot say that marriage was not meant to be … Yes, if the marriage included evil, or was made on a false premise then that is clearly taken from the shari’ah and we know those marriages are wrong. But Allah (SWT) will allow those to take place to grant us free will. So if it is established that the shari’ah and Islamic guidelines were followed but the marriage had to end … then we should accept that as a test from Allah (SWT). It does not infer the marriage was wrong to begin with … it just means that Allah (SWT) had that written in to the destiny that so and so will get married and divorce after a while.

We are not held accountable for what is going to happen … but if we do things that are against Islamic law then we will be held accountable for that.