So me and dude were talking on our fav subject, girls/women.
He advised me not share any thing about my family which sticks out, with any girl I am with.
Be it wife or what ever.
I am not able to comprehend that, I know my brother/sis share every little of their fears, concerns, regrets with their spouses. Spouses helped them grow out of it.
Dude, who is been a playboy and married more then once, said “at some point she is going to use it against it.”
Even if you don’t share negative things about your family with the girl…she will notice them (on her own) at some point. And she can STILL bring them up either in a positive or a hurtful way (without prior mention from you). If you tell her about those concerns before hand…she’ll feel more comfortable talking about them…and of course knowing that you’re aware of the weak points would provide her with support and strength (in a constructive discussion or heated argument) .
I don’t think it’s only confined to women. It has to do with human nature. If you bring up your weak points with people…some of them can use them against you because they have low self esteem and want to bring themselves up by bringing you down…OR…they see some faida that they’d gain from doing so. OR…it could be as simple as…repetition…if you say something often enough (including negative things)…people will remember and can actually believe those things about you. If this is your GF/wife…and she is going to be interacting with your family…informing her about concerns will make her more alert/cautious, depending on how serious the concerns are. It’s not as simple as women being evil.
He advised me not share any thing about my family which sticks out, with any girl I am with.
I have heard this 'advice' too.....and seen it happening too :D
an example of 'using against' will be like this...
you share some weakness/badness stuff about your family, some frustrations about your family members, some family history that so and so brother/sister or father or mother were unjust to you or something....
then some time later.... she will have a problem with your family...and when you tell her not to create issues, not to use bad language or someting like that........then she will bring that thing out......and then tell your family what you told her...and then tell you and prove it to you that your family is so and so (because you said it yourself)
this is just an example...... offcourse you could be lucky to find someone who will not do such things....
