It is said that you should be careful what you wish for because there is that “qubooliyat ki ghari.” However, at the same time it is said that Allah only does what is in our “behtri.”
So, how do you merge the two conflicting views? We can be careless with our duas …and sometimes we ask for things we are don’t know are harmful for us…and other times in anger/hurt we make dua against others. But despite that, if the dua is accepted…it’s because Allah knows there is behtri in it’s fulfillment?
I’ll give an example. For instance I’ve heard cases where someone really prayed for something…such as a specific job. And they end up getting the job but they’re not happy with it, so they warn others be careful what you wish for. When they say this… it seems like they believe that just maangna is all that it takes and that there is no divine wisdom involved. If you got the job, it’s because Allah saw good in it and if it were harmful He wouldn’t have let it happen. Even if Allah decides that your dua will change your written taqdeer, it’s because there is some good in it, right?
Or even if a bad-dua is fulfilled…it’s because Allah, in His wisdom, knows that there’s good in it…right?
Also...I don't want the advice that we should ask that our dua be granted if it is best for us in both worlds.....yes, I know that. I'm basically looking for the answer to the question in the 2nd para.
I'm not an aalim, so I can't give you an academic answer. However, I have not come across anything that says that it's a rule that we are only granted what is good from what we ask for. That's why we are specifically told to ask for something if there is good in it. Also, the dua of parents for their children is readily accepted, so we have to be careful about what we ask, particularly for making bad-duas.
I've heard that for certain occasions, the dua asked is answered based on it being beneficial in the end.
I'll throw in another angle of the specific thing being asked for and granted--maybe the person, on not getting the job might have been miserable for not being able to get it, so even if they got it and it wasn't what they expected, it might still be something that was in fact better for them.
However, I have not come across anything that says that it's a rule that we are only granted what is good from what we ask for..
Then why do people say....shayad tumhari behtari main nahi tha. Or when trials are taking place, they say "shayad is main koi behtri hai." And in the Quran it says that maybe you want something that is harmful and dislike something that is beneficial.......does this not imply that Allah always takes behtri into account when answering duas and bud-duas? That we can't say be careful what you wish for....because even if you do get it....or even if a bad-dua was answered....it's because there was good in it that we are not aware of.
This is not a rule that if Allah has not qubool your dua then there must be some behtri in it. It is just good to have that humbleness. Allah is qadir on both Khair and Shur so he could bring any of those to anyone.
.......does this not imply that Allah always takes behtri into account when answering duas and bud-duas?
No, it's not restricted to duas. Like I said, people will say that, but it's certainly not a universal rule that you'll get only what's good for you out of what you ask for. And all that about liking something that's not good for you and disliking what is good for you can also pertain to certain commandments, where you (or rather humans in general) prefer something not good for them. There is also at least an ayat saying how humans like the worldly life but the aakhira is better and everlasting etc. so it's also an admonition to obey Allah's orders, trusting that He knows what is good for us better than we do.
This is because what you asked have many different aspects which I think should be covered while explaining. That is why I'm just taking time to answer your question in exact phrase, of'coz if you don't mind :)
This is because what you asked have many different aspects which I think should be covered while explaining. That is why I'm just taking time to answer your question in exact phrase, of'coz if you don't mind :)
No I don't mind, LK.
Basically I believe that....
1) Allah does what is in our behtri. Whether we recognize that behtri or not is another issue.
2) It's said that punishments in this world are better cuz they are less severe than getting them in the next world. This implies that even saza main bhi behtri hai.
3) It's said that trials are a means if purification. In a Hadith Allah says that some if his slaves draw closer to Him when He grants them blessings and others can only draw closer if He were to deprive them of blessings like wealth, health, etc. This too implies that there's a behtri in both the absence/deprivation and possession of blessings.
4) in the Quran it's saud that we may like something harmful for us and hate something benefecial for us. This, too, seems to imply that Allah has our best interest in mind...whether the verse pertains to rules/regulations or duas. Allah is also wise and merciful and......for Him to fulfill our duas recklessly simply because it was asked often or made during an opportune time......negates wisdom/mercy.
4) There are opportune times for making dua...like during sujood....rain.....breaking fast.....kast third of the night. The duas are definitel heard during these times and they're accepted but they may not be fulfilled exactly the way we gad in mind. The acceptance is guaranteed.....but the manner/time if fulfillment is not guaranteed according to our desires and schedules and I guess this answers Cancerian's query. The discrimination in how the duas are fulfilled ....imply acting based on divine wisdom.
5) Bad-duas ...too are guaranteed acceptance in cases if injustice......but they are not always fulfilled right away.....sometimes it takes years for a person to get his "comeuppance" and it might be reserved for the next world......but it seems to imply a sense of thought/deliberation.
6) with all the above examples.........can it not be concluded that Allah exercises His knowledge/Wisdom in the fulfillment of duas and that they include behtri?
When people make comments like "be careful what u wish for cuz u just might get it"....."or qubooliyat ki ghari gai so watch what u ask for"........isn't it strange cuz it seems to imply an absence of Divine wisdom.....and fulfillment of dua is just based upon or reduced to frequency and timings.
RV, I agree with all of your points except #1 conflicts with #2 and 3. Re #1, let's take an example. A woman struggles with pregnancy for years and is finally able to conceive but the child still dies a few years after birth. The woman, in this case, was a very good person...humble, practicing Muslim, loving etc. So what behtari exactly was in it for her or the child? Please note I'm not saying that there isn't any behtari; Allah has divine knowledge and only Allah knows it all. But certainly we face many situations/trials in this life that make us question what behtari there was in it for the parties involved.
2/3, I agree with you. My personal belief is that at certain times, dua gets accepted whether it is good for us or not. And I think that's why people say be careful what you wish for. What we asked for might make us more miserable, but perhaps in the bigger scheme of things, we were meant to experience that pain in order to learn from it and become a better/stronger person.
Bad-duas... not too sure if they're accepted just because people prayed for it. I personally believe everyone's actions are with them and sooner or later, your past will catch up with you and you'll have to pay for your misdeeds, unless of course that person does kufara and Allah forgives them without punishment.
So I tend to think that bad-dua taking effect has more to do with the person himself, like how good they are. Example: A is a very naik person. B harms them intentionally. B is not a good person at all. A, in their moment of weakness, gives bad dua and it is accepted immediately because A is loved by Allah. By contrast, if A was not a good person and A causes harm to others too (is a non-believer, etc), then their bad dua holds no weight even if they were wronged by person B.
That's it for now. I'll share more later if I think of something.
As per my little knowledge, I don't think there is any such thing like "qabooliyat ki ghari". Let me explain with one example:
We often hear that the elders ask the newly married couple that when they are going to plan for having kids. If the married couple says they don't want in recent then they accost them that "aisa mat kaho, kisi waqt bhi baat sach/qabool ho jaati hy".
And if due to any reason the couple are unable to have kidz then they remind them, precisely speaking tease them by saying that "dekha hum ne kaha tha ke aisa mat kaha karo, baat kisi waqt bhi qabool ho jaati hy to wohi howa".
So basically, when a person says something in negative either intentionally or unintentionally, and if that negative thing happen, they all sudden everybody accuse that person by saying that your so and so negative phrase is accepted (qabool hogiya). I think it is more related to cultural thing/talk or whatever named it.
However, on the other hand if the same couple says that we would like to have 5 or 10 kidz then the same elders will say "Jitna Almighty Allah ne likha hy utni hi oulaad (kids) naseeb hogi" but in this case maybe, maybe they'll say ke "aisa mat kaho, kahi 5 ya 10 kidz ki baat qabool na ho jay". I think I never heard if anybody ever said this to one who wished more and more kids.
Now coming to the part of "behtari". I heard (may be it is narrated in hadith but right now i'm not sure) that Almighty Allah puts burden on a person that much that he can carry and not more then that. So explaining this "behtari" part with example of above, Almighty Allah is all knowing and HE knows better than any creature that the above couple either is able to bear burden of one child or many or not at all so HE decide what is best for those couple and that is what called "behtari".
Hope I was able to clear your point. Almighty Allah knows best.