Re: Dreading my rukhsati day…
I am moving from Pakistan to England. So i can’t really visit my parents often as well. After like a year if i do visit, i’ll have to manage time between in-laws mainly then my family and friends. Things are going to drastically change and i am not even getting myself prepared for them well. I am so overly worrying about everything.
I guess it becomes easier for those who know their fiance’s or husbands better and are in love with them.In my case, i dont love him; I do like him for many things but i am finding him a little inflexible and strict sort so its all very daunting for me. Leaving country, family and a perfect life into something that i am already not very positive about. My expectations are lowering down as days pass and i am getting scared all the time. I am not the usual chirpy happy over-the-moon kind of bride. I am a normal bride who is just dreading the day, hating the system of girl leaving her home and just becoming some one she is originally not. I am just extremely tensed over it all. Honestly, it will be a 180 degrees change and i just am freaking out for it. What if i mess up? What if he is so busy that he doesn’t give me time (he already works 13 hours a day)? What if he still doesn’t make changes? What if he gets bored of it all too quick? what if he doesnt really care about me or my family? What if i will stay home 24 hours a day and just be a cook and a dish washer? What if i really get to make no friends? what if? what if? … I know its a very negative way to approach things and probably thats why i am on the verge of a breakdown but i cant help putting these thoughts away - i am so highly insecure of what may or may not happen?
What if my parents cry a lot and just dont adjust.. I dont know what to do. These weddings are not always that much fun; there is a lot of emotional melodrama going on within you and i am hating it so very much. Why should we girls have to compromise so much yaar! We just get a guy out of the whole situation who may or may not even cater to our needs? What do we give out of it - Our 24 hours dedicated to a person and his family who haven’t borne you, fed you, catered to you, you serve others, you leave your education and office life some times, you leave a million loved ones, you go through painful processes of having kids … Too many compromises required of one person!
Oh dear…ur post made me teary eyed…inshaALLAH everything ll turn out good for u as someone said we are made to adapt…as a daughter i did and do feel this way but ALLAH (SWT) ll make things easy for u and i do pray for u sis…that ALLAH(SWT)gives u a smooth transition into ur new life and gives u HIS special blessings and u ll have a blissfull,happy married life.Ameen!