If a woman says she likes tall guys, we say it’s ok, you know just a preference. But if a guy says he likes fair skinned women, all hell breaks loose. Why isnt that treated as just a preference?
oooohhhh don’t get us started on double standards!!! Where do we stop then?? 
But seriously like..
I actually quite agree... the issue is we guys dont know where to limit our preferences. But its all the same height, complexion, ethnicity, etc etc.
Like to those who question people being very particular abt marrying into certain casts. I don't think people shud be hell bent on it but then isnt it same like someone prefering a fair, tall, slim girl? or a girl wanting a tall, dark, handsome dude?
Re: Double standards
...you think those are double standards, wait until a guy asks for a tall guy, then all hell breaks loose.
...you think those are double standards, wait until a guy asks for a tall guy, then all hell breaks loose.
well if it worked out for you, it cannot be that bad.
I actually quite agree... the issue is we guys dont know where to limit our preferences. But its all the same height, complexion, ethnicity, etc etc.
Like to those who question people being very particular abt marrying into certain casts. I don't think people shud be hell bent on it but then isnt it same like someone prefering a fair, tall, slim girl? or a girl wanting a tall, dark, handsome dude?
well if someone wants to marry into a particular cast/race/religion, so be it. I don't judge em for it, it's just thier preference. Plain and simple.
well if it worked out for you, it cannot be that bad.
alhumdulillah...
well if someone wants to marry into a particular cast/race/religion, so be it. I don't judge em for it, it's just thier preference. Plain and simple.
Bt many of "us" dont fail to make remarks on such people for few right but many wrong reasons :-)
Re: Double standards
I agree with what your saying! No one should judge you on your own personal choices!
To each there own right...
If a woman says she likes tall guys, we say it's ok, you know just a preference. But if a guy says he likes fair skinned women, all hell breaks loose. Why isnt that treated as just a preference?
It is just a preference but often u get dark skinned guys insisting on v.fair girls and rejecting darker ones or even similar complexion to them saying they're not good enough which of course makes them look like total idiots, same goes for short girls saying they will only consider really tall men.. both are as bad as each other imo..
It is just a preference but often u get dark skinned guys insisting on v.fair girls and rejecting darker ones or even similar complexion to them saying they're not good enough which of course makes them look like total idiots, same goes for short girls saying they will only consider really tall men.. both are as bad as each other imo..
Do you think that it could also be because "fair skin" is made out to be a much bigger deal in desi society? Like it's much more OUT THERE and in the open. For example, in Pak/India.......you'll still see TV commercials showing a girl who couldn't get a job or land a good rishta......and then a wise mother/friend advises her to use Fair and Lovely or Tibet Snow......then she becomes lighter....gets married/gets the job...life is wonderful and dreams come true.
But you rarely see in Pak commercials where a guy was rejected for his height and is advised to eat a particular vitamin each day so that he can grow taller and thereafter life becomes just peachy. Sure.....guys might experience discrimination for height. And they may see that TALL men are usually cast in movies, etc. But.....still......it doesn't seem as** "OUT THERE"** and "IN YOUR FACE" issue as the color of skin.
Also, desi culture is male dominated. Many parents have the view that** larka jaisa bhi ho...................as long as he's making money........us ko larki mil jaye gi. ** Many parents think that its okay for their sons to be picky because even if their son is in his 40s and single.........they'll manage to find a pretty girl in her 20s for him. But for a woman............because of your double standards.........there are greater consequences.....and so a greater pressure/emphasis is placed upon looks.
I'm not saying that one double standard is worse than another. Human nature is contradictory and hypocritical. We're all hypocrites to some extent or the other. More power to those who can eliminate physical attraction all together. The way I see it.................most of us (male and female) don't buy clothes, cars, houses, furniture unless we find it attractive. Many of us don't even put food that doesn't look attractive in our mouth. Attraction is something we deal with on a regular/daily basis..........with INANIMATE objects. SO, it doesn't come as a surprise to me that we'd want to marry someone we feel attracted to.
TV ...
...t TALL ................................"OUT THERE" and "IN YOUR FACE"
...INANIMATE..... SO...........
I have serious objection on these points.
Re: Double standards
I think skin colour is more of a sensitive issue than height.
Either way everyone has some sort of prejudice and would discount a rishta on the basis of something that they do not find attractive in the opposite sex. Nothing wrong in it, its all about personal preferences.
Re: Double standards
End of the day asians have a **huge **complex about their skin colour. All over the adverts all you see is how to lighten your skin. People say oh dark or light it doesnt matter, But we all know if they see sum1 dark in our culture people will say sumthing rude. Thats jus how our mentality works.
Re: Double standards
I'd like to say something, but I do not wish to offend anyone and If I do, i'm really sorry.
Okay so in our culture we do have preferences on looks, height, complexion etc I can deal with that, as Islamically you should be physically attracted to your partner! In Islam if you are interested in marrying a girl and the parents have discussed everything, the guy and the girl are allowed to see each other (obviously with chaperon's) or pictures of one another. YES IT IS ISLAMICALLY ALLOWED even if the girl does purdah etc.
Secondly- the issue that bothers me, is rejecting a rishtaa or a person because of their ethnicity and race. I can also deal with Shia/Sunni objections. But Objecting someone becuase they are not syed or because they are not Kashmiri and Pathan or Punjabi. That is just wrong. I'll bring Islam back into the picture, it is wrong to reject someone because of this ethicity, you are allowed to even marry somali muslim man! and if you reject someone just because they are not your preferred race, it is actually gunaah. It really upsets me when people who act all religious can not follow the simple rules of Islam, to be truthful to not hurt anyone, to be respectful etc. Sorry to offend anyone who prefers to marry within their race etc I do not understand how a Muslim person can reject another Muslim based on his/her race, when it clearly says that it is gunaah to. I understand cultural difference etc and language difference, but these are barrier that can be worked out.
I know it's shallow to not like a guy cause he is short (I'm guilty of not being attracted to guys below 5'11) Or to reject a girl cause she is chubby or not as fair. But people should consider the other person's feelings before rejecting someone like that. But off course being attracted to your future spouse is vital, but neither sex should be very picky. I'm sorry if I offended someone.
Re: Double standards
^ totally agree with the race issue ... its pathetic of ppl toreject someone because of their race
^ This 
And fat, stalky, bald, dark men looking for tall, fair, slim girls with long hair…
Re: Double standards
Skin tone is probably a more touchy topic for desis esp with our recent British leadership.
Re: Double standards
yeah i supopse ... skin tone is more of a touchy subject ... but then again ur free to marry anyone u think is attractive
Re: Double standards
And who says darker girls are not pretty?