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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
My mom is too much of a desi to get it. Then I use my usual line .. " I will treat my daughter like a human-being.. unlike u ".. and I slam my door shut, and don't come out for dinner etc.
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you're as much desi are your parents are honey so, step out of ur lil bubble. and when you do have ur own daughters u will be the same way ur parents are with you, almost. we dont realize how right they are about everything they do and decide for their kids... well they are most of the time. so best start showing some respect.
Mohazab gharoN ki larkiaN/laRkay raat dair tuk akailay ghar say bahir nhin rehtay. That’s a given. Your parents shouldn’t have to “enforce” this rule.
Talking about double standards and generalization…Desi parents let their girls do “whatever” when she crosses 25 and is single…go figure!
Personally, I think parents and kids should trust each other…gain each other’s confidence…We are living in a modern world …parents have to keep up with the pace as well…or they are gonna raise an inhibited generation.
I don't think it's a matter of trust. It's about safety.
I distinctly remember this one time on the night of my grad when I really wanted to stay behind with my friends after commencement to 'hang out'. But my mom (and my friends' too) didn't like the idea. While we were heading home, I asked where my bro was and I was told he had stayed behind to do just that. 'Hang out' with his friends. I was so shocked that I was at loss of words. (I did throw a tantrum later on. :-)
That was probably the only time something as 'absurd' as that happened. Our parents have almost always treated us equally. If anything, we were probably given a little more freedom than my bro. My bro himself wasn't the type who stayed out late because he was aware of the little 'rule' our parents had set about not staying out late...so it was alright.
No matter how unfair it seems when you're going through it, with time you realize it really is for your own good. And I bet when we reach our parents' stage, most of us would probably end up doing just that. :-)
whoa! my parents r mega strict! just theyre equally so with me and my brother, trust me its a desi thing, something thats done and dusted, u cant change it, its practically etched in stone
we just have to live with it, and in no way r my parents not strict i mean my mom cant stand to c me play computer games u can guess the rest :k:
ps i tried to pm u but its not working
Degas its a mans job to take out the rubbish how can u trouble a lady with such a thing? thats totally ungentlemanly
Me and my sis have the same standards as well. But i guess we both live alone, so my parents had to get used to it. We have never actually had a curfew. We would agree before hand on what time we would be back or had to be back.
Suroor Dont be angry or sad baby ,
I agree it is desi thing but look at the positive side as well ,they cares for you our beti yaa behan ki exstra care ki jati hai ...thats all !
you're as much desi are your parents are honey so, step out of ur lil bubble. and when you do have ur own daughters u will be the same way ur parents are with you, almost. we dont realize how right they are about everything they do and decide for their kids... well they are most of the time. so best start showing some respect.
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Sorry to disappoint you my muffin but I am sure I will treat both my kids with equal strictness( if I get strict that is). I am a staunch feminist, and open to all kinds of changes and liberal views. If you think I will not let my daughter leave my house for her studies and her curfew would be more strict than that of my son.. then you are wrong! My mom was raised in a strict hijaabi family. So her actions are understandable. I am anything but hijabi etc.
And I am not saying they are totally wrong about the restrictions. I have no problem with them as long as same rules are applied to my brother too. But that isn't the case.
Parents are right .. yeah.. if not always.. but like more than 70% of the times. But that doesn't mean they can never go wrong.. does it? What are u saying.. strict restrictions on a girl and lenient rules for boys.. this system is justifiable?
I know this is for suroor.. but haven’t you ever noticed this kind of discrimination ever ?
I mean most of the desi households follow this system. So u mean.. all of these desi girls have given their parents some reason to be more strict with them?
or maybe you are suroor’s friend and just trying to piss her off. . in that case .. hmmmm
Xara: Yes, I got that. I called you lucky coz u get the same treatment as your brother. If that was the case with my parents.. it would have saved my parents a lot of money they invested in fixing up the door several times. j/k
I keep my pm off most of the time.. you know gs has its share of malicious souls. :-p
degas.. they do trust me.. but just pisses me off when he can stay out late n i cant. not that i am not allowed to go out with friends or etc. :-)
i know they love me n they r probably worried about my safety but i think i am pretty safe when i am with friends! its not like i am out alone.
khair i am over that now.. no point in arguing with them. life goes on.
Being a parent my self, I understand that parents are for the well being of their children, but this is not the issue, the issue is being unjust and in particular on the bases of gender.
This injustice is pretty obvious in our desi society…if you look at the base of it you will see that it’s the parents who are at fault, for not being just among their children. Most of the rules, which are enforced, are unjust for females; it really bothers me that how come we have such a lopsided sense of justice. The reasons are plenty, from society to our misunderstanding-of-religious codes. The thing goes backs to the debate of not being equal which triggers this injustice.
All it requires from us is to be just. Being a muslim, I am ordered to even stop my parents (with all due respect) from doing injustice.
O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor 4:135
Another important factor for this behavior is the relationship among parents. This relation ship can send different signals to the children if its not balanced and just. Which can ultimatly result in creating a environment in which one gender is supressed.
But, the thing, which is even important than this, is that in the next few years your going to become parents, then the onus would be on you to be just to each other and your children.
That’s a given. Your parents shouldn’t have to “enforce” this rule. 
u can guess the rest :k:
its a mans job to take out the rubbish how can u trouble a lady with such a thing? thats totally ungentlemanly