i dont no wht really bandbaja wants first they criticized junoon all the way nad now mizraab.They just no positive articles abt junoon as junoon has been doing continous successful concerts..they like to make fun of junoon all the way and they called ep as revolution band woowow wht a joke.
Salman Ahmed Perfects Cloning
By Munni Begum
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KARACHI, PAKISTAN. Salman Ahmed successfully cloned a guitar riff at his home in Karachi today which has become the first most accurate and successful attempt to clone Western tunes in Pakistan. He called a press conference and made his findings public in the southern Pakistani metropolis. Mr. Ahmed who was studying to be a doctor before he dropped out of medical school to pursue musical goals said that it was his “lifelong dream to pioneer something in the field of science.”
“It was just the coming together of all these influences, my medical background, love for classic rock and laziness to actually put effort into making something new,” he said at the conference.
The newly cloned guitar riff was cloned from a Jimi Hendrix guitar riff from “Who Knows” and was urgently put into the song “Pappu Yaar”.
Mr. Ahmed, or Sufi Dr. Ahmed as he now wants to be called, had attempted to clone guitar riffs a few years back as well. His efforts were largely successful. The riff he cloned was the main riff from U2’s “Discotheque” which Dr. Ahmed cloned and renamed “Jazba Remix Riff”. However the song itself was not as successful.
News of this unprecedented act of great scientific value was also made public on the Junoon website.
“CNN calls it a tour de force, New York times labels it the Dolly of Pakistan”, is an excerpt from the Junoon website relating to the clone.
As for the future Dr. Ahmed plans to clone more riffs.
“It is such a good feeling! You know, making money by not having to put any effort into the CD!” added Dr. Ahmed. “I plan to clone riffs that I haven’t used before.”
Junoon’s manager Sheheryar Ahmed was not available for comment. We have gathered from a reliable source (we cannot disclose, but we can tell you he is bald and sings for Junoon) that Salman Ahmed plans to clone an army of Junoon manager Sheheryar “Gandalf” Ahmed(s) in order annoy all mankind to death and take over the world, finally to fulfill his imperialist ambitions.
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© 2003 Bandbaja . Some Rights Reserved . Cafefive .
‘If greatness of bands is to be gauged by the places they have performed at (UN, some stall in some parade in some American city, Sozo Water Park) and the column space they are given then what is the point of releasing music.’
- The Bug.
Random Distraction:
Matteela
The House of Matteela
Who would’ve thought?
By Saba Imtiaz & Safwat Saleem
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Everything has a reason they say. Surely, this must too. While trying to re-enact What Women Want and his Garaj Baras video, Ali Azmat slipped in his bathroom and fell into the bathroom tub holding his electric razor. Even though the razor was not plugged in, Ali Azmat got electrocuted anyway and has lost his memory further proving that all Western appliances are faulty devices intended only to hook poor Third World-ers into buying them.
Brian O Connell, Ali’s band mate and flat mate, said he turned the color of his purple kurta on seeing Ali lying on the bathroom floor muttering, “Bulleyah, who am I? And who is that annoying man asking me whether I am still with a band called Junoon or not?” It remains unclear if by “annoying” he meant Shehryar Ahmed, manager Junoon.
This freak accident happened while Ali Azmat was shaving his head as a part of his fortnightly ritual, where he shaves his head, wears red Buddhist robes, walks around the neighborhood and is splashed water on by the neighborhood boys. “If Salman can have his Sufi revolution why can’t I have a Buddhist one?” Ali was quoted as saying at his drycleaners.
News of Ali’s memory loss spread fast within the Pakistani music industry. What spread even faster was news of Shehryar’s nervous breakdown. Sources close to him say that he is shocked that his worst nightmare is slowly coming true. After months of denying that Junoon is not breaking up and that Salman is a good singer, the fact that Ali has ‘upped and left’ has led him to re-think leaving his Wall Street in the first place.
Meanwhile, it was also reported that Salman Ahmed has asked Y2K vocalist, Karim Kamruddin to step into Ali’s place. "We figure that since he copies Ali’s style of singing all the bloody time, the audiences would be fooled into believing it’s really him. Now we’re just trying to convincing him to go bald.” Other applicants under consideration include fellow baldies Shahi, Ali Asad Khan, and also Maulana Bijli.
Salman says he is confident they’ll finally be able to capture the music audience in the Northern areas if Bijli agrees to join. “You know I always wanted to have a mass appeal in the North and with Bijli lending us the vocals for some of the shows, I am sure we will cause quite a stir” said Salman in a wannabe Yankee accent. He has even gone onto compose a song meant to be sung only by Maulana Bijli. Although the title has not been confirmed yet, rumor has it that it will be called “Khhocha Yaar” and will feature some stolen riffs from the Northern areas.
On the other hand, Ali now goes by the name of Moosa Khan. Apparently the name struck his fancy after he saw it on a huge billboard outside a local cinema house. He is currently in Mumbai, and is planning to join Bollywood as a stunt motorcyclist. "Pooja Bhatt says she knew me. I really wish I remembered that part. But anyway, she feels sorry for me and is getting me a job. I hear I was a good motorcyclist too and used to vroom-vroom around the city in my hey-days” said a hopeful Ali. Most Karachiites agree.
In all of this, Brian O’Connell’s fate remains unclear. But then again, not many even know he was ever part of the band.
Reach Saba Imtiaz & Safwat Saleem through our feedback form here.
© 2003 Bandbaja . Some Rights Reserved . Cafefive .
‘oh noooooooooooooooo guys … thats not me …hehe ..im not that bad i believe’
- Nabeel Chisti, of Aaroh, when asked by fans if he was the guitarist in Sajjad Ali’s Teri Yaad video.
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Rewaj
The Lifestyle Portal
Mizraabians: The New Junoonis?
By Rohail Khan
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I’ve been trying something a little different this issue, I’ve been looking at one of my reviews from a different angle… under a different lamp so that I can hopefully kind of see it almost for the first time. I’d like to try that for you today is that ok? I am going need your help, I am going to need your help and your permission. So I need you to find that stash you’ve hidden away under your bed. I want you to roll it into a big fat corporate joint and smoke it like you’ve never smoked before. I want you to shut your eyes and go there and I’ll meet you on the other side.
I know good music and I know bad music and Dewaar is great music. Volumes can be written about the rich melodies and soul piercing lyrics on Junoon’s latest offering. At first listen it might be hard to appreciate the true beauty of this masterpiece but a few puffs of that corporate joint and you’d be singing a different tune.
Salman Ahmed’s vocals are reminiscent of the stunning tunes sung by the birds outside my window early in the morning. Never once do his vocals disappoint. In fact, songs like Khwaab, which were unbearable originally, now sound like sweet angels chanting in the glory of the almighty lord. You can’t help but get down on your knees and appreciate the greatness of what is offered on this fantastic CD. The highlight of the album is the very original compositions Pappu Yaar and I swear I haven’t heard the riff anywhere before.
an hour later
Now that the effect of this fine joint is wearing off, I must confess I have no freaking idea what I am talking about. I was asked to review A album, any album, because no one else was reviewing one this time around and not having an album review “doesn’t look nice.”
My editor asked me ”Hey you wanna review Mizraab?” and I immediately fell to the floor begging for forgiveness. What was the lord punishing me for? Isn’t it enough that 6 million Junoon fans have me on their hit list? After that sort of a disaster, why would I ever want to review a Mizraab album? MAQ reviewed Mizraab’s album last weekend and he’s been missing ever since. Some say he fled to Madagascar as a result of death threats from all two Mizraab fans. I’d try finding the poor guy but I am in no mood to look down the throats of those Mizraabians. Oh wait… I feel an epiphany coming through… Lord himself is talking to me… what lord? You want me to make a comic strip? Are you sure? Ok lord, I will try my best… here goes nothing…
That came pretty well I think. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Mizraab and want to have Faraz Anwar’s babies. No, really I do! You don’t believe me? Hmm… ok, now before you resort to threats and what not, I want you to take into consideration that I know Kung Fu. No, really I do. Ok, ok, I might not know Kung fu shung fu but I sure as hell can like a mad mofo…
http://www.bandbaja.org/issues/006/reviews/
for those who stills ay bandbaja is neutral then they r idiots
usmanjunooni:rotfl: