ok so…past few months..ive becum SUCH a negative person…not negative parr…
ive STOPPED being the strong believer in relationships…like i was before..
i mean…why does this happen? …why do we give ONE person in our life so much power to change the way we think…feel…or see the world…
ONE person can do something n make u stop believing in friends n rishtey n stuff…
i used to be such a SWEET person…(compared to wat i am now..lol)…no seriously…if u go read my posts like aik saal pehle ke…u’ll see SO much difference…i would be nice to EVERYONE n alwayz ready to make new friends…
par AB…i dunno…dosti per se aitemaad hi uth gaya hai…i dunt want myself to be like this..par i cant help it…i jus DONT trust anyone anymore..
i DONT believe in net friends any more…
i DONT believe in making unkils or bhai or baaji`s over the net anymore…(OR in real life)
and i jus DONT want to make new friends…
before…when my friends (ittefaaq se friends i made on gs) used to be udaas…ya they got ditched by their friends or something…ya had bad experiences with them…i wud alwayz be the one to give them like aik do ghante ke lectures telling em…dosti se zyada sacha ristha koee nahi blah blah…n not everyones the same…n u shudnt base ur opinion about dosti/rishte based on ONE experience with ONE person…etc…
n now…i look at myself…n im thinking exactly the way they used to…
sighz…ive jus had bad BAD experiences with friends…
i alwayz got wat i DIDNT deserved…NEVER got wat i did deserve…now plz dont tell me u never know…u probably did something…
i jus KNOW i didnt deserve this…
i know myself APNEY dil mein how much i loved my friends…how MUCH i cared for them…their khushi came BEFORE my khushi…
n i did not deserve to NOT get any pyaar back…i jus didnt! …
kher…i dont even know if this thread has any point or not…
par seriously…why does one person has to much power…they can jus change u for the rest of ur life…n u TRY keh unka assar apne pe nahi hone dein par its like…they r wid u 24/7…(in ur dimaagh :halo: ) …
i mean even in skool…ive jus stopped hanging out with almost ALL my friends…
they ve been SO mad at me itne din se par i dun even go n talk to them…
it feels like i get NO feelings for ppl jinse meri kabhi dosti thi…i jus feel like mera dil nikaal ker wahan kisi ne pathar rakh diya ho …
i wanna be that SO sensitive…nazuk si…dostiyan kerne wali…emotional baaton per pighaltey dil waali nida again …
*sighz…
par i think…why get so emotionally attached so some1…why love them SO much…apne aap ko unki AADAT kyuon daalein..
agar kissi din woh nahi hon aapke saath…
aik dum kaheen khho jayein…to kya kerein ge aap? …
sighz…
phir kya guzarti hai yeh wahi log jaante hein jinke saath aesa howa wa hai :p…
THATS how i think now…
now i know i’m not supposed to par…
i went thru the same thing about 3-4 years ago. sometimes, some alone time is fantastic. persue something you like to do, maybe? get your mind away from "friendships" and onto yourself.
being there for others all the time gets to be a real mental-drain. try making some time out for yourself?
ppl change with time.. dont take it negatively.. think of it as an opportunity to do something totally different, that u wud never consider before. take a break a vacation .. pamper ur self n relax.
My story is in reverse order. I went from being a nagging child to a sweet and nice person. I used to know no one, now I know so many people that it’s hard to keep track of them. I guess we all get tired of being ourselves for sometime. ALla ki qudrat to dekho, you indelibrately change your inner self to see the world in a different manner. We aren’t as fixed as “patthar”..so relax and wait for the time to heal everything. You will eventually become what you were before..i am very sure of this.
i know exactly wht ur going thru happened to me whilst i was at uni…it may seem as if this is the worst time ever, but trust me chick..u need to experiance bad friendships before u can find the good ones
lifes not wierd its just life…**** happens u learn how to move on and u grow and accept the fact that u are changing as a person, at least uv realised that ur changing and sometimes change is a good thing.
i think the alone time is a good idea, u need to rediscover urself as a person (i knw that sounds lame, but its true!!)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Rani Pakistani: *
par AB...i dunno...dosti per se aitemaad hi uth gaya hai...i dunt want myself to be like this..par i cant help it...i jus DONT trust anyone anymore..
i DONT believe in net friends any more...
i DONT believe in making unkils or bhai or baaji`s over the net anymore...(OR in real life)
and i jus DONT want to make new friends...
[/QUOTE]
what's wrong wit that hain? dont get so broken hearted over that rani. i used to make friends wit ppl online all the time too, and then i realized how pathetic and dumb it was.....i mean not to sound mean or anything...but mere liye its' a waste of time talking to someone i won't ever meet nor have intention of meeting. theres no need to be all sweet in ur life. yeah, be nice, dont backtalk, gossip, curse ppl out, watever, but theres nothing wrong wit not wanting to be friends wit everyone that talks to you.
Rani It’s just a stage of life your going through I believe. From your recent posts it seems like your just trying to find yourself now and want to be left alone and sort out your thoughts. So just relax and try not to take stuff too seriously. Jo be hai..I hope you figure and sort out whatever it may be that’s been bugging you lately…InshAllah everything will go well :).
dutchyyy: errr i know i have friends…
par i dont care about anyone …
i like meeting ppl n stuff still..i guess…par baatein hunsi mazak ki hud tak theek hai…
dostees alwayz hurt …
thankyou hugzz
PCG: i doooo i doooo ..
par wats scaring me is the fact that u NEED friends to be happy in life…n i’m like…running away from everyone…
n i AM thinking only about myself…
thats why i dun make friends nemore…to save myself from the hurt…
*sighzz…
suroor baji: yayyy lol
vacation kahan se lon gi .. …my last year of highskool has jus begun…lol
kher…
i dunno if its a positive change ya nahi…
i mean…i DO still socialize with ppl…im still a social person…per the same thing i said to dutchy…ive stopped believing keh i can have good friends…
per ya i DO need to spend sum time with myself i know…
lekin everyone needs friends…why do i feel i dont? …ive alwayz had friends in my life…lots of them too…n i’m jus running away from them now…
kher hugzz
Dimagh_HotaToNa
yaar…even if i do becum like before…
wats that gonna do?
phir se dostiyan hongi…phir se dostiyan tootein gi…
n mera humesha se yaqeen raha hai keh rishtey bantey hein…poori tarah se Toot nahi sakte kabhi
mein kabhi rishtey torr nahi sakti mera dil nahi maanta…
or jab i’m forced to do that…then…phir yehi hota hai …
my mental state just gets upset…
Miss_Mohabbat: hugzz
firseval thankyou so much :-) ..
*sighz...i do accept the fact keh ppl change..
i actually like changez now...
aik tarah se ive becum kaafi mature n positive...:-) ...
per THIS change....i mean...im jus scared...
i'll try MM *hugzz
thanx babez....
Sara: jee :-) ...is dunya mein kaafi nida`s hein...i'm one of them :-) ...
about u guyz saying i want to be left alone...
umm...well not really...
ive ALWAYS been very social n alwayz will be...i like talking to ppl...i like hunsi mazaq n having fun still ...PAR...i jus DONT want to give any one SO much value or importance in my life keh then they r the ones controling my emotions...the way i feel...my moods...
n thats wat happens with friends...
u love em so much...kuch din pyaar se rehne se itna mazboot bond bun jaata hai...
n then they can do ANYTHING...
its up to them...
they can be rude to u...n u wont be able to do a thing....even if u fite back equally...har tarah se ur gonna get hurt in the end...
if they leave u....phir bhi UR gonna get hurt in the end...
i jus dont want THAT anymore...
i wanna be the one controling my emotions n feelings n thoughts n opinions n perspective myself...!
arent u glad ur not the one who does these things to ppl? cuz i think in the end they are worse off..n i think suroor is right, as u get older u will get used to the crappy world we live in
you are growing up, it happens , you are just going to be a more cautious person which is not a bad thing. All the people are not friendship material so thats good and net is a good place to meet liars so nothing wrong in not wanting new friends. You are fine.
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I guess we all get tired of being ourselves for sometime. ALla ki qudrat to dekho, you indelibrately change your inner self to see the world in a different manner. We aren’t as fixed as “patthar”..so relax and wait for the time to heal everything. You will eventually become what you were before..i am very sure of this. 
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lol
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