of socializing! …like seriously…my family…sigh they r the most social ppl in the world…they LOVE inviting ppl over…having parties…going to parties…organizing stuff…like musical shows or mushairas or 14 august shows or chand raat parties or eid milan parties or graduation parties or ANYTHING!!
like every week there r atleast 2-3 parties we have to attend…or kabhi kabhaar weekdayz mein bhi…
FORTUNATELY…me n my brother love to socialize ourselves n meet ppl n take part in EVERYTHING that happens in this city 
warna to ab tak mera pata nahi kya hota
but sometimez…i dunno…i jus get SOOOOOOOOOOO tired of alwayz being around people. Sometimez i just get tired of laughing or being friendly (with aunties/uncles) and i jus wanna find a place where therez no one n cry :-s …
n 99% of the time…i wud have NO choice…my parents wud jus TELL me that i have to go…not that therez anything rong with it…they just want us to have fun n doosron ka dil bhi rakhte hein wo log…keh bulaya hai to kisi na kisi tarah jaana hai…
but its like…i wud come back from a party late nite…usually 1-3 am…n i’d be dead tired…n my friends n their mom wud ask me ammi abbu ke saamne keh come to our house…from a sleepover…n i’d be like nahi yaar ghar mein kaam hai…n ammi abbu instead of saying no…they’ll just be like chali jao itna keh rahe hein…
sighzzzzzzz
i feel that i REALLY need to spend sum time with MYSELF…
i really need to get to know myself better…
i jus wanna SEE the real me…not the me thats alwayz around ppl…n obviously parties mein barron ke saamne u act differently then u wud alone at home or something…
its not like i dont get time at all at home…i doooo…par us waqt ka faida utha ker i do my homework…i catch up with my school work…ya i come to GS…
cause for some reason is kursi per bhet ker gs ki screen or msn ki screen dekh ker sukoon milta hai mujhe 
…
par seriously…i have NO privacy at all…i share a room with my younger BROTHER!
its not like we dont have more bedroomz in our house…our house is big mashAllah par my parents want us to sleep upstairs on the same floor…
plus neeche its really cold so woh neeche nai sone dete humein…
and other reasons…
kheyr…
dont u guyz feel that way sometimes??
dont u sometimes jus wanna grab a book…go to ur room..shut the door…
n jus read a book bilkul khamoshi mein…or rite a journal or anything khamoshi mein…
like i have no privacy AT ALL! …
i once wrote something really parsonal in this book…which i thot i;d call my dairy…n a few dayz later i found out my ammi was looking thru my drawers n she found my book n read everything…:-s
i cried my eyes out…
(not because she read wat was in there…but because i do not have the rite to keep any thoughts of mine to myself)
i mean…my parents r the best…im not saying anything about em…
they r simply the BEST…
they listen to everything me n my brother say…we get everything we want…n i jus love em…n even if they DO something i dun like..they r doing it because they think its better for me…
par seriously…everyone needs some time alone by themselves…
who knows…maybe i cud be a much better person if i just start knowing myself better…
(i jus read tanhayiyanz msn nick…its “jo apney aapko dhoond ley…woh asmaam or zameen hai” :halo: )
now this posts is turning into a journal n going all over the place n has no point at all…so i’ll jus shutup …
all i had to say was…i dun like alwayz being around ppl n listening to them…
listening to everyone commenting on EVERYTHIG u do…(u guyz know how desi aunties r)…n i HATE all this politics that goes around…
if i dun like some1…i wanna SHOW them i dun like em i wanna be away from em…which i cant…cause har aik se huns ker milna hai …tameez se milna hai…
its not like i DONT love parties..i doooo..they r so much fun…i love spending times with my friends…n participating in stuff…n most of all TALKING…!..
par kabhi kabhar i just get tired…
…or logon se mil mil ker:D
