Re: Don’t find spouse attractive anymore?
Come on, you guys call this love? 
I love my mom, my dad no matter how they look. I just love them for what they are.
^Talking about physical attraction here jalpari.
Well in my opinion you can do many things to revive the attraction. You see, explore your fantasies. Go to gym as people said here. Lets see...treat each other with massages. Talk about what makes you guys happy. And last but not least, your husband should maintain himself as well as you..then you can do some role playing stuff..if you know what i mean.!
My dear Looks r not EVERYTHING!!!!!!
U should be great full if he treats u well and thinks ur ok, no matter u have gained fat or not!!!
Seriously, u don't feel attracted towards him anymore, like.... are you sure that's the only reason??????????
Look on the brighter side, does he hit u, abuse u, curse u, insult u or treats u like sh!t...
then u come and say ur not ATTRACTED to him.
As far as physically attracted is concerned then many men are physically attracted towards me...... shall i bother NO, as I am married and strictly abide by my ethics of marriage!!!!!!!!
Hi there,
I am newly married...about 9 months now. I dated my husband for 4 years before we got married. When we first met, we were both crazy about each other and I found him VERY attractive. He is a very good looking guy and when I met him his weight was normal. As the years went by he gained quite a bit of weight. He is not fat, but definetly stalky or pudgy.
I've also gained a little bit of weight, but most people would still consider me slim (I just need to tone a bit). My husband and I both recognize that we both have gained weight (him WAY more than me) and need to work on it, however, he never makes an effort.
The little bit of weight I have gained doesn't seem to bother him at all. He still considers me physically attractive.
I feel bad saying this, but I honestly am not physically attracted to him anymore. This may sound superficial because its not all about looks, but I can't help the fact that I am only attracted to good looking guys with a decent physique.
Has anyone gone through this? How do you deal with it?
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
what about mental attractiveness?
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
mental or physical attraction r both in the eye of the beholder....
we r not doing a script here, like john abraham do not want asin to star next to him, as he needs more of a bombshell next to him so he can focus on his role more properly....
i hope u understood wat i meant to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uh, not to be crude or nasty but…
actually no, parental love is much different than the love you have for your spouse. Need I say more? 
I understand where ure coming from but at the same time…i hardly think she is whining or being ungrateful…that said, that is her problem and no need to belittle it…that means none of us should ever talk about our problems b/c everyone els is suffering worse?
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
its always good to share but on a second note, be it out of the Pandora's box
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
If ur husband has back problem then it is good for his health to loose weight. I read some where that if u gain 1 pound at the bally , it puts a load of 10 pounds on ur spine .
Motivation is most important for all.
Years back I had very busy schedule but I always tried to reach my sports club even at 20:30 at night coz I had had very strong motivation for that :-)
BTW if u ppl r finding it difficult rite now , what after having a kid or two ??
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
change lifestyle. Add exercise and healthy diet to the lifestyle of family (including yourself). Some people are slow starters but when the see their partner is sticking to it, the normally come on board.
As for time is concerned, I am not sure how long do you sleep at night but most people can easily cut 1 hour off their sleep and dont even notice unless off course you are just taking 4/5 hours of sleep.
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
Why don't you both see a nutritionist and get him/her to make a diet plan and follow it together. Make it a regular part of your daily routine. Your husband will most likely be willing to pay some attention to his weight if you both do things together.
Sara - Unfortunately I can't change jobs. The type of job I am in will always only be situated in dowtown Toronto. We live in a suburb close to it, mainly the commute is long because of traffic and the pathetic subway system in Toronto, not because of the actual distance from our city to Toronto. The commute times in Toronto are actually the highest in the world when compared to other big cities like New York, Tokyo etc....there was some study done on this a while back. sigh ** Jaan leva - yes he does. Even if I gained weight, he would always find me attractive...he's a guy. I think it's easier for guys to remain attracted to their wives then the other way around.**
Changing the foods I feed him is definetly something I need to work on. The problem is I dont get much time to cook so either we eat at my mom's house (she cooks healthy) or we eat what his mom makes (she cooks unhealthy most of the time....hence almost his entire family is pudgy or fat).
X2 - I totally agree with the planning ahead part. We've been extremely busy so it hasnt happened but I'd like to start cooking for the week on weekends or do the working on at that time. With all due respect though, I don't agree with your point that time is not an issue. When you spend 4 hours a day in commute and 8 hours at work...that leaves you with max 3-4 hours in the evening when you get home...it's not much to work with.
I do agree with your point about physicals. I am always tired...perhaps I have chronic fatique syndrom? I'm not sure...
This is the first time I've ever heard that.
That's the first time I've ever heard that.
Ditto. I always thought that it was generally the other way around.
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
I agree with X2 with the time issue... we're working parents, the hubz and i and have a yound munchkin.. and we spend 4 hours commuting, if not more and get home at 7.30 too,.. but have been able to sort out dinners for most of the weeknights.... if u plan ahead, like organise urself on the weekend, its not tooo hard at all.
The issue is, when ur parents are nearby or ur with inlaws, doing the whole food thing can seem daunting and u think there is no way u can do it..... but hey, when u get put into the situation, u really can do it.
Eating out would prob be the main factor in gaining weight, for both of you. If you minimies that, or say, lets only eat 2 nights out, u can control it.
I know couples who were on the obese side prior to getting married, but together they have worked hard and look amazing Mashallah. I've also worked extremely hard after the bubz to lose all the weight... and it's really well worth it.
Work with him... start with eating healthy and then work on the exercise. Hire a treadmill or bike and keep it in a place (even if it looks horrid) where u'll all be sitting, so he/u can use it while not feeling like its a real chore. That has ALWAYS worked for us... even when i was with my parents, we kept the treadmill or whatever exercise thingy we had, in the family area where everyone was sitting.
Hang in there...
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
You guys can incorporate physical activity in your lifestyle. You guys are not the only ppl who commute like this I know ppl who come from barrie orillia hamilton sarnia etc, may be you do live this far, but try and get some physical activity like a sport esp if you both like it. me and my hubby love squash we play once a week and go for walks on weekends. My husband is the type you can't push, so I keep him involved in various activities.
Plus food thats one thing you may have to work on.
Main thing you need to keep in mind is that this is marriage and it is not always easy, you have to work on it or things get in-tolarable. You sound tired, he must be exaushted from work, commute other stuff, too. So sounds like there might be other issues you need you address not just the weight gain and physical appearance.
Hi there,
I am newly married...about 9 months now. I dated my husband for 4 years before we got married. When we first met, we were both crazy about each other and I found him VERY attractive. He is a very good looking guy and when I met him his weight was normal. As the years went by he gained quite a bit of weight. He is not fat, but definetly stalky or pudgy.
I've also gained a little bit of weight, but most people would still consider me slim (I just need to tone a bit). My husband and I both recognize that we both have gained weight (him WAY more than me) and need to work on it, however, he never makes an effort.
The little bit of weight I have gained doesn't seem to bother him at all. He still considers me physically attractive.
I feel bad saying this, but I honestly am not physically attracted to him anymore. This may sound superficial because its not all about looks, but I can't help the fact that I am only attracted to good looking guys with a decent physique.
Has anyone gone through this? How do you deal with it?
Tell him to loose weight or you will leave him.
but you dont get intimate with them right? so physical attraction is really not that much of an issue there.
Re: Don't find spouse attractive anymore?
Divorce the fat turd and marry an underwear model. Then divorce him too when he gets fat.
candy-apple u can sabotage his current job some how n then get him a lobourer job..then watch him transform into a hunk!
what about mental attractiveness?
I am quite attracted to how mental you are.
candy-apple u can sabotage his current job some how n then get him a lobourer job..then watch him transform into a hunk!
I have a question.
Do you live in an Indian soap opera?