Here in the UK, its quite a trend among desi families to give a doggie bag to the guest after inviting them for dinner !Frankly I dont like that trend what so ever … for some reasons
1- When there are many dishes , obviously the quantity of each dish is kept enough for a single serving ..
2- I have noticed that cooking medium quantities of food is alot better then cooking larger quantities , it just gives a much better taste ..perhaps I am yet not good enough a cook to make a huge wedding style daig for the guests
3- The larger the quantities of food the more tired you get …
4- after doing a proper dinner for someone, I am not left with any energy to do cooking yet again next day …
Now the problem is , people are so batameez , they will actually ask for doggie bags while leaving … am I just being rude by expecting them not to expect doggie bags? I can understand if there is alot of food left .. but really even then ..
Usually husband and I are both busy serving the guests and arent able to eat and a few days back after a dinner party , the guest lady asked us twice for doggie bags and there wasnt any food left after the party … husband and I had to order pizza for ourselves
So it really pisses me off at times.. and i am now wondering if i am thinking wrong and maybe i should be more open hearted ?
When I was a student and living alone, I loved taking doggie bags after the dawat and such because that would mean home cooked food for a few days.. In the beginning I refused to accept it but then some aunties would get upset if I didn't take the food.
BUT I never had the guts to ask for anything.. I cant even imagine how can someone actually ask for it.. thats impolite and rude... if the host wants to give it, then its a different story but asking for it.. ok thats embarassing!!!
GTG , see thats what i find awkward … when you are single, I guess people show their care by giving doggie bags … but when there is a family of 6 members , you cant just pack a huge container of food for them … specially when they adamant on getting it themselves :no:
why don't you say I am sorry I wish there was food left enough to give you guys but alhamdulillah there was enough barkat in the food that nothing is left to give. And do this before they ask for a doggie bag.....and do this enough times...ppl who come over to your place will know not to expect doggie bags from your home....
I agree with you a lot of times the food left is not enough to share among all the guests...and a lot of hostesses will hold themselves back so that the food is not less.... so they look forward to eating that plate the next day....
Wow CB - I live in the US and I have never seen this trend here at all! Mabey it is the state where I live????? One of the best parts of having a dawat is then having the yummy leftovers for a few days.... so that you can relax and not worry about cooking. It is the reward for the hard work put into throwing the dawat!
Thats sad that your hubby and you had to order pizza because there was no food left ... :(
From my perspective... I do not think you are being wrong at all. All of the reasons you list are very valid! It's a different story when there is SO MUCH large quantity of food (this usually only occurs when guests also bring one dish each) that you offer the guests to take home a "doggie bag". But I find it very rude that guests ask for it themselves!!
Now that I think about it ...the only other time I get offered to take food home is when I go to my future MIL's. She considers me family and takes pride in the fact that she can feed me (for a few days). But even in this situation.... i have never asked .... she has always been the one to offer...
Automne , great idea … i think i will start doing that from now on … and thanks so much Punjabi rose .. I did kind of want to make sure that i am not being selfish when i think doggie bags shouldnt be given , so i wanted to hear others perspective on this as well … thanks so much for contributing
No problem CB! And automes idea is good. You will have to let us know what happens when you try her method the next time you have a dawat.
If somehow the guests do notice that there were leftovers (u were not able to quickly put it away or something). Could you possibly kindly mention (before the asking of doggie bags) that you are going to take the leftovers to another family member (like MIL or your own mom) so that they don’t have to cook. People should be understanding to that.
Definitely Punjabirose , I will come back to this thread and let you know of the outcome
I think this sounds like a good idea as well .. about taking the food to another family … I just hope people could be understanding enough so we dont have to feel guilty afterwards …
There was this family , who expected a doggie bag once , I could feel it , but khair they left without asking for it … when i went to their place , they tried handing me one , and I humbly refused like 10 times , until she said " no one goes without a doggie bag from our house , hum baray dil kai log hai !!!" … I was so shocked … later hubby said ignore them , no matter what they say, we dont have a trend of giving the doggie bags we wont
^ the things that come out of people's mouths are so ridiculous sometimes!!! Good for your hubby for telling u that tho! He knows whats up and is on your side! :D
^ yea but CB is talking about the underlying trend of "expectations". Thats great if one wants to give food to take home............... but quite another for guests to expect it or ASK for it.
To ask for food yourself is plain rude in my opinion...!!
I have seen leftovers being taken by guests or maybe they can even ask for it themselves if it was a one-dish/potluck or where the event was catered and lot of food was left over that it can become difficult to handle and there is a chance it might go bad or into the garbage...etc...
I have been offered a few times to take something home if I want to but somehow I just never felt comfortable about it....
I was once told that it is a 'punjabi' tradition that whatever you have left over after a dinner party 'belongs' to the guests .
I once had company and was planning on making fish but somehow was never able to.So I was told to pack the frozen raw fish and give it to the guests when they were leaving.I had to do that.
i have lived in punjab more than half my life but I never saw anything of the sorts.I dont know!!
chips i am a punjabi and have never seen this as a tradition in the punjabi’s … by individual choice some families tend to do it .. but its not really a tradition …
How awkward you must have felt giving raw fish away … the guest didnt say anything at all ?
I feel so awkward accepting left over food from the hosts … coz i feel for them and i know the woman must have been in the kitchen all day long … so I usually forcefully decline the doogie bag to save them the trouble …
^^Yeah my point exactly…let the hostess enjoy a few no-cooking days after throwing the dinner party…
No the guests never said anything.They took it.
I have also packed entire daigchaas(pots) of left over biryanis and even the chips/cookies and juice boxes for kids as I was told that they ‘belong’ to the guests.
That was the only time I ever heard sth of the sorts…!!
Doggie bag or not, tradition or not, if someone asks for food just give it to them. You were after all able to order pizza and go another day without starvation.
Whenever we have a party and there is food left over we always share it out with our guests - goes without saying really. It's just something that is done in our family and is something I would like to carry on doing when I get married and have people round for dinner in my own house.
We've never had guests ask for food, but I guess they don't need to ask because we always offer before they get the chance to ask. Obv if there isn't enough of something left over we don't give it to some guests and not others, but where there is enough to give some to everyone then we share.
I kinda like giving food and taking food from parties because I find that I don't always get the chance to eat properly at such events due to helping out etc so I can always have a little nibble after the party if I fancy it :D
.. I did kind of want to make sure that i am not being selfish when i think doggie bags shouldnt be given , so i wanted to hear others perspective on this as well … thanks so much for contributing 
… the guest didnt say anything at all ?
… how could you take all those dahi bhalas away 
