-
When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg
humping. -
Blaming your farts on me… not funny.
-
Yelling at me for barking… I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG YOU IDIOT!!
-
How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over
everything while you’re gone. (Have you noticed that your
toothbrush tastes a little like cat?) -
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway? -
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it.
-
Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why’d you
buy carpet? -
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry
but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet. -
How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know
the truth, you’re just jealous. -
Dog sweaters. Have you noticed my fur?
-
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why
we chew your stuff up when you’re not home. -
When you insist on picking up the piles in the yard. Do you
realize how far behind schedule that puts me? -
Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back there. -
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What
a proud moment for the top of the food chain. -
Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
