…I mean in particular for desi social events, but really anything. Do you still consult your mom or another elder in the family about what to wear? How much do you “listen” to what she says?
For me, growing up, I really felt like there was some unwritten code regarding desi clothes and social events featuring all sorts of variables:
-fabric of outfit
-style of outfit
-kaam on outfit (zari vs embroidery vs other stuff)
-particular social group
-occasion
-location of occasion
-relative closeness with host, etc
Growing up, I just couldn’t be bothered to understand all the nuances. Instead I usually consulted Ammi and still do in order to determine what to wear. What about you?
I guess the other thing in my case is that I live close to parents and inlaws and they are often at the desi social events I'll be attending. And even if they're not, I'm known as their daughter, so what I wear reflects on them as well. It may be different for people who live far from the parents and inlaws.
I'd say yes.
Growing up I always took my mom's suggestions regarding dresses and what to wear,even when I was in college.My ammi even finalized my wedding dress...:D.She also appreciates this as a quality of mine as compared to my sisters who acc to her make her go nuts as far as clothes are concerned.
Now that I live in the US and she is back in Pakistan,she still does that.She alongwith my youngest sister made all dresses for me that Iw ore to my sister's wedding and I highly appreciate that.
I guess the biggest reason now is that since I live here,I need to depend on her.And secondly I am too bad at all the stuff that goes in making a single outfit,from buying fabric,getting the matchings,the accessories, and not to mention the numerous darzi trips.
I have always trusted her,and now my youngest sister to help me get dressed up...no matter how lame this sounds...!
my mom only helped me dress until the age of 8
after that i never really asked for her advice.
but i always told her what i would wear before hand.
and she's aways ok with w/e i choose
actually a lot of times i tell her to wear the ones i like.
and she usallay wears the ones i love the most out of her wardrobe. lol
i luvvvv my mom she's soo sweet.
Nopes. I guess I just know what is appropriate from observation. In fact, when it comes to weddings, I dress my mum and sister.
Sometimes we disagree. Like since I've been married she'll want me to wear the sets I got as wedding gifts. Sometimes I do, if they go with the outfit, other times I don't.
Very much so.... She even designs my desi formal wear... I keep telling her to sart doing it professionally...
It helps we have very similar tastes....
Now that i live away drom her...doesnt make sense to ask her... I used to ask mil but i would always be the under dressed one at events cuz she herself is a minimalist! Im probably one of the few bahus that has a mil that could care less how much gold, if any. I am wearing... Fancy clothing for her is a slef printed cloth with a lace at the neck... Mhmm!
So now i dont ask anyone...just rely on my common sense.
Well in a way... yes....coz she goes to Bombay often and picks up the saris..... I never get a chance to buy them.
While I don't always love all the saris that she gets... its always 50 -50. So I keep the ones that I love out of the lot, my sis takes the ones she likes ... and my mum's left with the rest hehehehhhehe.
I never let her buy me churidaars. NEVER. Coz we have diff taste in them totally. That by hook or crook I will manage to pick up.
But for western clothes ... I just buy what I want......there are no restrictions.
I used to ask my mum for her input towards my desi shopping. However, I stopped doing from the age of 16. I do ask her what she thinks of my outfit after I buy it :p
Well for desi clothing, I rely on my mommy. For western attire I rely on my mommy. It helps that she has a great taste and tends to spot reclusively placed fashion items that I could never find on our own even if my life depended on it. Sometimes when I decide to buy something against her choice, I end up regretting it anyway, cuz it rarely flatters me.
Not really. She might pipe in with a suggestion here and there about desi attire, but for the most part I decide both the design of what I'm wearing and then what outfit I wear on for which event.
The only time she does give me input is when I'm wearing a saree - she'll tell me whether it's right for the crowd and occasion.
Yes, what it comes to desi clothes. I decide what I am going to wear but always run it by her - sometimes she will tell me if its appropriate enough for the occasion. We have a wedding coming up and I told her what I was going to wear to the mehndi but mom thought it wasn't dressy enough. She reminded me of another nicer outfit I have which I had forgotten about. :D So I shall wear the one she told me to. But then she also runs it by me as to what she is wearing.
Haha, totally. My mom knows my taste in desi clothes and I don't think she's ever gotten me something I didn't like. Plus, I really hate dealing with the kaam/type of cloth/blah blah that goes into it. I've been to Pakistan with my dad a couple of times and was in charge of making my own clothes...it's such a headache. My mom knows just whats right/wrong...I always turn to her for desi clothes.
I started dressing myself as a teen. But now that I look back ammi had a lot of influence on.what I would wear, all boring Buddha colors and simple stuff. My mother is exactly like khawas mil and now my mil is the same too. My mom used to think reds, blues and stuff was too bright for teenagers. I wore beige to my farewell party (prom).
We sisters pick out clothes for each other and dress our mom head to toe. We don't run our choices by our mom but we do consult each other and can pick out stuff that will look good and be well liked too.
Haha, my mum is the first to say you look like ****, well not in those words but she will look horrorfied, drop spoon back into the plate( if shes eating), look completly disgustd and then say nadz, i cant believe abhi tak tumhe akal nai ai…
OR
IF I LOOK GOOD.
hmmmm, yeh tumne kab liya, patha nahi tumarey paas itney achey kaprey hain lekin tum wohi patti hui gandey kaprey penthey ho…
I pretty much tell my mum what to wear these days, she likes the way I dress, and with asian clothes esp she pretty much agrees with everything. I only really need her help when I'm getting some fabric stitched cos she used to make all of our (my sisters and I) clothes when we were younger, so it's good to have her opinion on what kind of work/stitching/quality of fabric etc etc.
