Does this offend you? Or would you not be offended at all?

[shaasavera]

Re: Does this offend you? Or would you not be offended at all?

@redvelvet

It’s not much a revelation as it is a reminder. Not every individual of an entire race has a heart of gold, Savera. You may hear generalizations about cultures such as ‘the Arabs or Afghans are very hospitable’…“The Hispanics are a very warm culture”…etc etc. And I do feel there is some truth to these statements, however I don’t think they are sufficient to say that every person of a specific ethnic group has a ‘heart of gold.’ That’s a strong statement, one that can be determined only by interacting with the person/people. What you’re basically doing is applying the “Don’t judge a book by its cover” principal on a larger scale, in this case to various ethnic groups. It’s not a revelation, it’s a reminder. Without interaction, our first impressions of a person are based on their looks…it’s an innate behavior for us to be more attracted to some faces/looks more than others…determining personality and compatibility comes later, after interaction. What you’re saying is that a person we are not attracted to might have a heart of gold. Well, the same can apply to attractive people as well, they might have a good heart too. I dunno if you’re trying to get us to feel a strong or perhaps equal appreciation and acceptance for all peoples and it would be nice if we could do that…but I don’t think it’s a realistic or simple expectation. It’s idealistic, but not so simple as you make it sound because it requires both exposure and interaction with people as well as checking/monitoring our negative feelings or biases.

Also, it seems you’re trying to send the message that, "Don’t feel offended if someone assumes you are (insert nationality) because even though they may not be attractive according to society’s standards, the people of that ethnicity could have a ‘heart of gold’ and therefore you should view the association positively. Well, Savera, when someone correctly assumes that I’m Pakistani, I do not think “Yaaay, I have a heart of gold.” When someone assumes I’m Arab or Hispanic or Trinidadi…I don’t think, “Yay I’m associated with those who have hearts of gold.” Nor do I think, “Yay, India has beautiful landscapes and is a tourist hot-spot and home of Aishwarya Rai so I should be proud of being assumed an Indian.” Usually I just wonder what about my features led to the conclusion. And I think for many people, the thought process is not skin-deep, it is superficial…because its looks that are being discussed and not personality/character. Maybe someone else can express my thoughts more articulately and concisely. While your message does have some merit, I think it’s also a bit flawed.

You do have a point and perhaps I am slightly naive and idealistic for the moment. I think offence is a strong word and i’ve seen it being used. I don’t think we have to love/like/feel proud of all associations but neither is it necessary to feel very offended. I guess first impressions depend on looks but what if someone has got to know you but not your background. Maybe just your personality/character through interactions with you at for eg. work or elsewhere in the community. What if based on those things they mistake you for another race rather than by just looks. Revelation in the way that im sure many people might not have been aware that Pakistanis get visa on entry at places like Haiti or Vanuatu. Though they may have known about Nepal. Not individuals of all races have hearts of gold but sometimes when we make assumptions about a person based on their background from what we have heard we limit ourselves. I guessed that perhaps countries in category A may have more negative stereotypes towards them as they are less known than category B. Or because category B countries are more well known and established/higher in the hierarchy people would have better feelings being associated with them then others.