Most of our mothers are of a traditional mindset where lena-dena is necessary and nothing anyone says can convince them otherwise.
I do not personally care if I get something or not.
I guess the ideology is if it doesn’t happen at the wedding, it probably wont happen afterwards. Jo bhi lena hai abhi lo varna baad mein koi nahin deta. It also signifies how much the new family cares for their new bahu.
Yes? No?
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
No it doesn't.
BUT I think it's natural to feel self-conscious or insecure about it. I know it's silly, but I felt the same way.
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
I did not receive anything other than my ring & salami on my engagement, not even the dress i wore on the function. Their family is quite happy about the whole rishta but do not like the dena - dilana procedure. My family is opposite, and believes in the dena-dilana. This caused quite a stir in the family elders because as per tradition the in-laws gift the bride jewelery, clothes, shoes, purses etc and also the dress to wear that day.
I personally did not care the least but hearing all the haww hawws every where and being questioned over what i got from the in laws im quite agitated by the topic 
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
Could the amount of gold given also be to "show off" to other people........."Hum ne bahoo ko yeh diya hai".....to make a statement to people when the look at her sitting on the stage as a bride...and even aftewards. Doesn't guarantee that they'll treat her with respect later on.
But I do understand Sahar's point of it being natural to feel conscious or even question their feelings/intentions toward you. These are delicate relationships.....and the exchaning of gifts is said to foster affection between people. And when you're feeling that it's not reciprocated or is mostly one-sided.....you're gonna wonder.
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
For my wedding i'm wearing one of my mother in law's set.. she did ask me if i wanted a new set but i'd much reather wear her set as it makes me feel a part of her family.. she's also gving me her mother's karays.. i'm not getting much gold but i still feel like they love and care about me like their own daughter.. and i would much rather get something like this than 5-6 new golden sets :)
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
Do you even realise what a RARE n Awesome lady you are?! 
If i was a boy, i had propose you rite here 
:k: I say the family you are marrying into and your future husband are very lucky, MashaAllah.
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
Of course larkay walay won't be into lena dena but larki walay will be...it works out perfectly for the larkay walay.
I do believe that in most families, this mindset (that you get what you get on your wedding, and nothing after) is very well and alive.
Re: Does the amount of jewelry you get equal how much your to-be family cares for you
awwwwwh! your soo sweeet! 