i have a friend A who got married almost a year ago… A was in uni with me.. then we started working together (she was working for a software company then i got a job here too).. neways i got along well with her… on the other side i was quite close to one of her cousins B.. who ive grown up with… but the cousins didnt get along.. B was always saying how she couldnt stand A…
neways A got married.. and shes changed soo much.. shes moody.. she’s rude.. she’s mean.. and she’s very cocky… but then she can be really nice as well.. i can handle people’s mood swings pretty well.. but A has got to be one person who i just dont understand..
she idolises her hubby (which i guess all desi gals do).. but like in her family.. shes known as the sweet shy one.. shes a ‘Yes..’ ‘Haanji’.. ‘Ur absolutely right hubby’ kinda gal.. like she wont speak a word against him… but at work.. shes the total opposite.. like a complete flip over.. like she’s always competing.. she doesnt even need to.. like she’s tall and slim.. and im short and fat.. shes got brains.. and i dont.. but she still sees it upon herself to judge me and correct me at my every mistake…
i dont get it… do people really change after marriage? or am i jealous that shes married.. and living hapipily.. and im still a spinster?
aaagh i hardly ever feel the need to tell someone that they need to analyse their behaviour.. but just this once.. i feel like shaking her about and asking her to plllllllssss do something with her attitude..
Maybe that's the reason she's behaving like that against you, becaue at home she doesn't say anything against her hubby, remains silent, says yes to him all the time, so she probably takes it all out on you instead?
I think you two need to have a serious talk.
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*Originally posted by sadya: *
Maybe that's the reason she's behaving like that against you, becaue at home she doesn't say anything against her hubby, remains silent, says yes to him all the time, so she probably takes it all out on you instead?
I think you two need to have a serious talk.
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yeah thaz my explanation.. that cus she doesnt get to speak her mind at home.. shes always doing things to please her hubby... and theres nothing wrong with that.. but i honestly think she needs to relax...
i remember doing so much for her before the wedding.. and now its just so different...
saher i think i may break one day and just tell her... cus its so annoying.. but then she cries on very lil things.. so i have to watch out..
funguy i have no desire to sleep with her hubby.. he's even cockier than her... no thanx..
ahmedjee im not so sure whether she has changed.. maybe i didnt know her well in the beginning.. and i guess the more i got to know her.. the more she started to bug me... i mean her cousin would always tell me to watch out.. lekin neways... khair hai..
im just praying ke i can last today without gettign cranky with her.. its not fun
Perhaps your friend isn't as happily married as you think. From what you say about her behaviour around you, she doesn't seem to be subservient or docile at all .... only in the presence of her husband. Perhaps she is taking out her frustrations from remaining this obedient, humble wifey at home out on you in the office. Or, she could be jealous of your independence and freedom .... everything which she may feel she has lost due to her ending up in this relationship where she plays the obedient role .... and that's why you get so much attitude from her.
marriage might have an affect on the person .. however it certainly cannot change him/her. its humanly very difficult to change ur habits e.t.c of which you have become immune to. exceptions are always there.
thats why we see so many breakups. it would really become easy if a person would actually change after marriage.
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*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
Perhaps your friend isn't as happily married as you think. From what you say about her behaviour around you, she doesn't seem to be subservient or docile at all .... only in the presence of her husband. Perhaps she is taking out her frustrations from remaining this obedient, humble wifey at home out on you in the office. Or, she could be jealous of your independence and freedom .... everything which she may feel she has lost due to her ending up in this relationship where she plays the obedient role .... and that's why you get so much attitude from her.
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hmm shes always been this way... i mean very obedient towards him.. and accepts everything.. its like this.. if he said 2 + 2 = 10.. she'll agree.. when shes within her family.. shes a mouse...
theres another issue.. hes actually quite handsome comparitively... that might be another reason why shes so obedient.. and no shes not jealous of my freedom.. shes been wanting to get married to him since she was like 14.. but yes i do think its to with nto being able to get it out in the family.. and therefore she takes it out on the next best person whose not going to say nething back..
heart beat.. ur prob right.. i dont think shes changed.. maybe i refused to see this side of her before.. and now cus its so constant.. i get more ticked..
neways im trying my very best today to not get angry...
yes i think one ‘has’ to change let alone ‘just change’…my friends they got married at an early age such as 18……and there not the same…after coming back from what-they-so-call ‘honey-moon’…there acting way above their age…like their in their late 20’s or something…:nono:…they talk like women and act like them too…thinking they know it all and that they are too mature for someone like me…
I blv lurki jaise buri hoti hei…us ko khud hi upne aap ko budulna chahiye…she should ba a mature women before shes married off…and she shouldnt change herself at all just for the sake of saas ya her husband…she should be herself…herself in a way keh everyone calls her mature…
…and there not the same…after coming back from what-they-so-call ‘honey-moon’…there acting way above their age…like their in their late 20’s or something…:nono:…they talk like women and act like them too…thinking they know it all and that they are too mature for someone like me…