Re: Does making tea for your susraal make you a ghar damaad?
^This. No point dwelling on it.
As for your question about why Abida Baji thinks it’s “not good” …it’s because what you did goes against her beliefs about gender roles/image. She sees serving chai as strictly a female role and seeing you serving it led to assumptions/doubts about your position and authority in the marriage. That said, I doubt that she’s only disappointed in you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she also views your wife as irresponsible, lazy, etc.