Does love exist today?

s_H_e_I_k_H · July 14, 2002, 4:19pm

It is interesting how love is viewed in todays reality.
When we used to be under Islam we never faced the marital problems that we do currently.
Love is no longer so simple. One example is the breakdown of marriage.
This can be attributed to the fact that we are brought up in a society based on freedom.
Good? well i have seen a friends marriage breakup because he got married to a virgin and she didnt sex him as good as one of his exes.
We are constantly given short skirts and tight tops so we constantly put in a situation where we will always be tempted. Imagine a fifty year old man with his fifty year old crossing the road and seeing a beautiful nineteen year old. The temptation bulids for the man and the sense of inferiority builds in the woman. We are told in society to act on our desires and this is what leads to mans downfall. If we act on desire we are nothing but animals.
What we see nowadays is lust not love. Dont get me wrong i would love to get married to someone beautiful as i believe love is about physical and emotional compatibility and the oneness between the two individuals.
I just dont feel love exists anymore in this scoiety but it is just lust and instincts.
In a society based upon Islam the man would not be surrounded all the time by all this corruption and will lead to a better and more safe society for all those involved as opposed to the current situation.
The crime rate would be down. Marriage would be more stable etc and will lead to better society.

PyariCgudia · July 14, 2002, 4:43pm

by an Islamic society, I hope you mean where everyone is a muslim because they want to be, rather than a law system forced on them which they accept on the streets, but not behind closed doors.

I see what you're saying. But I think what is more important is that, despite all the Islam in Pak society, men are still raised being taught that they're superior to women, and that women are only animals made to satisfy the sexual pleasures of the man.

women aren't given to much respect - some women are lucky and are born into more liberal-minded household - but most aren't.

s_H_e_I_k_H · July 14, 2002, 7:07pm

Just like in this society laws are made such as paodaphilia laws Islam implements laws such as pre marital relations being forbidden. However the society is such that these ideas will not be propogated in the way they are now.
In Pakistan the system is secular and people are Muslim and want Islam but are given wrong views of Islam such as not letting women work etc when as an example aisha was a top lawyer back in the prophets time.
National traits are something which keeps Pakistan. Islam does not see a women as being inferior to a man.
Islam has given roles to man and woman and this led to good marital relations unlike now where we are given distorted views of Islam and a secular society which promotes Western ideals.

CocoNut · July 15, 2002, 2:37am

There is a line my friend mentioned to me once and I hold it dear to me till this day.

Hope is a thin line of thread the world hangs by

Fear not, there is love out there. You just have to open yourself.

Regardless of being bombarded with sexual images and primal urges to (for the lack of a better word) hump a woman. Communication is a necessity we have to strengthen between couples. We as humans need to be told that one finds another attractive even at the age of 65 with saggy arms and wrinkled eyes. Spirituality is our enlightenment and we’ve barely touched the surface. Those who have touched it take it dangerously into depths they cannot understand. Its like jumping a 12 step workout program without finishing the first.
Insecurities should be eradicated by communication and gestures. If a girl with a tight top, big bust passes you and your significant other by, your primal urge is to look and hers is to look at you if you are looking at that outstanding abomination. The entire scenario could be resolved by just holding your wifes hand. The possibilities are endless to show how much you care’n’love for your cranky ol’ wife

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

The notion your under suggest some personal bruises I dare not ask about

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

As I said, keep hangin’ around because at the end of each dark era there is light twice as bright

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

Jitna Diya Sarkar Nay Mujko, Itni Meri Auqat Nahi, Yeh Saab Tumhara Karam Hai Aqa, Mujh Mein Aisi Koi Baat Nahin.

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.

[This message has been edited by CocoNut (edited July 14, 2002).]

s_H_e_I_k_H · July 16, 2002, 10:09pm

Nice line and to this day i am hopeful.
I'm just making an observation of what generally happens.
In university as an example it is easier to have sex than to not have it as the whole culture is based around it.
The whole society is based around sex so other things don't take as much precedence.
Divorce rates are up over 50 i accept due to other factors other than sex but they are ever on the increase due to lack of satisfaction among the couples.
People say they can't imagine being with the same woman all their lives and that is true.
Every day we are told to 'just do it' 'obey your thirst' as such and that is leading to a degraded society.
Unfortunately the innocence of a first time couple doesn't exist and all we have is promiscuity based on lust and ones animal desires. I just feel that is a shame.
The notion i am under is due to personal assessment of how we live. Naturally it effects me and has effected me in one way or another but this is not the reason i have added this thread.
It just frustrates me that this culture is growing. People talk about backwards societies and link Islam to it.
Well the sight of a man humping anything to satisfy ones sexual desire seems very medievil to me and backward and just brings across more social problems eg rape, paodaphila, diseases, singles mothers etc.
eg over a third of black women in the UK who have children are singles parents. in the rape thread over 50% see rape as acceptable.
That is the society we live in.

Farhina · July 22, 2002, 5:05pm

Love is not only getting it is GIVING more then GETTING. Start loving yourself and you see wonders will happen. It does for

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

.
Good luck

heart_beat_1 · July 22, 2002, 6:45pm

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/Forum46/HTML/000343.html

***I dunno where I’m going. I dunno what for. But I’m making progress.

google · July 22, 2002, 9:09pm

sometimes...

chris_wazir · August 6, 2002, 12:05pm

[quote]
Originally posted by s_H_e_I_k_H:
I just dont feel love exists anymore in this scoiety but it is just lust and instincts.
.
[/quote]

what will u call a long distance relationship of 2 persons..who say they are in love...and have not met...

and where neither person has indulged in the "lust" of our society in well over 6+years.....?

s_H_e_I_k_H · August 6, 2002, 3:29pm

Well you may feel i am contradicting myself somewhat but i think for there to be love there has to emotional AND physical attachment. Thats my opinion.
It's good though that not everyone conforms to the filth we have in this society and i see what you said as encouraging.
I'll be going to university soon and i was reading a survey today which says that 9% of students of a particular uni have sex every day while 33% of the uni students as whole in the UK have sex atleast once a week.
Thats what i mean by just lust and meaningless sex.
There is no longer sanctity of women. St Andrews for example had a survey where female students have at least 60 sexual situations on average.
This is what i mean.
In this culture there is no love. Just lust. Love is about attraction physical and emotional which in this society means nothing.
The worrying trend is that this is reaching our lands increasingly and this kind of culture is increasingly growing.

Abdullah_k · August 8, 2002, 6:05am

It's an interesting question. Although, if love does exist then, it's a lot more than just having sex, or moulding your feelings towards someone only because you are sexually attracted to that person. And you cannot blame entirely the society for having ill-effects on your own morality; whether it's lusting on another person after you are in a relationships. To me that sounds absurd, after all if you can't control your own mind and thoughts, regardless of how pious you are, then who can..?

[This message has been edited by Abdullah k (edited August 08, 2002).]

s_H_e_I_k_H · August 8, 2002, 1:03pm

Love to me is about physical and emotional compatibility.
Society itself is where we learn our ideas. Society is what tells us what is right and wrong. It tells us what is normal.
It does through many mediums such as the media and education.
I'll give a simple example. If the norm in society was to wear hijab and cover then you wouldn't get the girls coming out in short skirts etc. due to peer pressure.
Muslims feel peer pressure in this society and many do actions to fit in. Most of what i had learnt had been from society such as importance of money, materialism and sexual freedom. Most have concepts and aspirations that are very similar such as grow up, get high paid job, huge house, fast car, model wife and these values are pushed through many ways through society.
Man has instincts like a sexual drive for instance but it is society that tells us what the right way is to deal with our instincts. This society tells us we are free and to do as we please so encourages to just sleep around. If in an Islamic soceity sexual urge is regulated and one is encouraged to marriage for instance instead of meaningless sex.
In reality soceity helps dictates our thoughts but we do have control over what we do and what we don't do. Action comes from thought and our thoughts come from society, peers etc.