Ok, so I LOVE my mum…but sometimes I cant help but get frustrated at how even though I am 26 years old, i get treated like a 10 year old. I was just wondering if its just me, or do you guys have the same?
i’ll give you an example…last night I went to mum’s, I was in the kitchen and was about to make chapptis when mum chipped in “make sure you make them small and round”…!!! But mum, i always make small and round chappatis!!!
When I am driving (and this really gets me) and if mum is front seat passenger, she will physically point left, right etc where ever we are heading as a way of directing me…even if it is to local shops and i go there every week, mum will still tell me"turn left, turn right…put indicator on…" etc etc… and she will get really worked up if I dont take the route she has told me to ( i would only do that if I know there is going to be traffic ahead or road is closed etc)
Infact I have noticed, everytime I am asked to do something, there will always be a “comment” made about it… “oh make sure you do it this way, or that way..”
I get annoyed because I feel being an adult, I should be trusted to just get on with the things now with out the additional comments.
Another thing that irritates me is when mum comes to my house, she will literally go to each and every room to inspect and then comment on things she doesnt like… When I changed my bed sheets and duvet covers (i must admit I hardly ever iron them), mum noticed them on one of her regualr visits and told me off…I was annoyed because it is my bed, I am the only person living in that house…and bedsheets are those crase free stuff anyway so they dont need to ironed…she will pick up my bills etc and make comments like" oh look at how much you spent…or why is this bill so high"?? hmmmm
Please tell me I am not the only one in this situation…if i am not, how can i learn to not get frustrated by these petty things?
Nope...same stuff here mate. I am always getting the same old lectures or critiques.
best thing is to just listen. No matter how old we get...we will still be their baby....and the time with our mothers is precious...so enjoy every bit and try not get frustrated. sometimes, moms just want someone to listen to them and feel needed.
if you do get upset, just breathe, smile/nod...and then leave the situation for a bit if you think you will yell.
*all the mother are same i guess...i have seen my nani ma doing that with her daughters and now my mother with us...so it's a mother thing i suppose...deal with it patiently...nothing to worry about
*
I am a mom myself but I get treated the same way from both my parents. These days I am having some significant issues with them just because I want to do my marzi and they are not letting me.
Jokes aside you have to tell her nicely that she needs to let go a little. Like on the driving to the grocery store issue just joke around like how you will be oh so late and her appointment with the sabzis wouldn't work because you took your own way and you're 30 seconds late. When she comes to your house before she picks out any faults, you start telling her yourself that mom bed sheets are not pressed the curtains are not alligned and I didn't make the bed ... my bill for eating out was high and I did a lot of dry cleaning so now that we are done with the critique can we spend some time together without you scolding me and she'll get the point that you wanna spend time with her and not get danted by her. All your parents wants is to be heard and want to give an input in your life like they have always had and you have to let them that you still listen to them and that even though you might not follow their advice but you still remember it. Hope it helps : )
aww don't worry you're not alone most mothers do stuff like that and they do it out of love.....so the next time it happens and you feel like you're getting angry just take a deep breath and when you have calmed down talk to her about it without being rude or anything just have a calm and rational conversation..........I used to be in the same boat even after I got married finally I had to talk to her about it and now things are so much better between us..........hope things get better for you :)
awww I feel better in the knowledge that I am not alone in this and tha tit is a common trait found in all parents. I usually deal with it by staying quiet and nodding my head.
No matter how old we are, we will always be seen as a child by our parents because that is the nature of our relationship with them. So they will always try to guide us because "parents know better"....
I remember when I bought my house, we ended up falling out all the time because I wanted to decorate it in a certain style and mum disagreed with me all the time.... but she loves it now :) except she calls it a show house rather than a home because its all sparkly and glossy....:D
Just so you know...it never stops and doesnt change.
I am divorced and my mom still follows me around with dam ka paani, does damm on me every morning, reminds me to take my lunch to work, put my seatbelt on, watch my speed limit, look both ways before I turn, slow down when Im driving, turn right when I am halfway into the turn, make sure I dont spill on the carpet, eat my dinner, etc etc etc. Here is the funny part...when I drive...my dad holds onto something...like I am driving at 95 miles when I am only at 60!
