Re: Does it ever happen to you?
i dont agree still.. assuming that people in the west are cold and thats why they dont want to be your friend is not the right way to try to make friends.
^ i agree with the third point although there are few exception too.and i believe although i can be wrong is that people are also a bit hesitant to make friends with a lady who has dark hair and dark eyes.they may not say it but i think racism does play a part too.
racism does not explain why people would bother with a few meetings. if it was racism, you probably would not get the first visit in place.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
sometimes u r just not lucky with friends like me ! I have never been lucky with friends and have faced quite similar situation like yours through out my life. Thats why it's a treasure to have good friends and if u happen to have one just dont let them go.
Sweety there is nothing wrong with you ok !
^ i agree with the third point although there are few exception too.and i believe although i can be wrong is that people are also a bit hesitant to make friends with a lady who has dark hair and dark eyes.they may not say it but i think racism does play a part too.
I dont get this.......dark hair and eyes? Why does that make a difference?
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
well ask the black people living every where and they will tell you why.the fact is nobody has a answer to why people have bias against color,religion etc.it just is like that.
and secondly i am not saying every one is racist but i have come across this a number of times so thats why i mentioned it.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
I have come across this many times. I have moved to a new city after marriage and had to start from scratch. I feel that it has been very demanding process to get to know people and to eastblish relationships.
I feel that in most relationships I have erally put a lot of effort and been there for the girls. Now Alhamdulillah after a long period I am establishing a network here. but it hasnt been easy!
Mostly I am the one inviting the girls over.Perhaps its because they live with their families and I am more independent so thats why...but still I feel that one has to put a lot of effort to get it going.nothing comes by itself.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
I find this sooo interesting. Never had a problem making friends, people say it's because I have charm and can talk about almost anything. Not sure if that's true but I know when I meet people, I am totally interested in getting to know them as opposed to going on about myself. It's all about how you make people feel around you - if they feel important, they will stick around longer.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
^Straight_up:
Almost no one has problems making friends when in school and college.
However, MOST NEW MOMS do have hard time finding friends.
What stage of life are you in? It's good to know you have no problems - but age and circumstance matters - in Amrika. =(
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
^ Thank you for pointing the New Moms thing out. You're right, I am definitely not close to that stage of life so I'll keep quiet. :)
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
The new mom thing is HUGE in the west. I had my 3 very close together, no family nearby and no household help. It was close to overwhelming when they were little so friends were more of a burden than a blessing. Same with family visits. I was always a gracious hostess but before they were in school and were in diapers, it was very stressful for me to have company and friends during this time. I was always tired and always behind on things that needed to be done around the house. but since the boyz have been out of diapers and started school, our social circle and our activity level has increased dramatically.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
mamaof3,this is what i am actually scared of.my older one goes to KG and he is away more than half of the day and the younger will be going to KG in couple of years and i am afraid what will i do than.at least now i have things to do when i am with her but when she will be away i will have the whole day to myself.and thats why i am seriously thinking about studying further or go for some job.that way even i will not have time for people than;)
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
hb, have you thought about joining the PTA? Or being a volunteer or even paid teacher's assistant? For now, until your little one goes to school, the PTA would be a great opportunity to meet people.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
MO3: Great suggestion. However, we all know what having a close friend is like.
Usually we end up meeting people - whom we feel like we HAVE TO FORCE our friendship. I am not too comfortable with this - and I too run away from people whom I am not comfortable with.
I guess it's how we train our minds on whom to accept and whom not to.
If I accepted all that's around as "friends" then I guess there are plenty of friends... but it's the mind that looks for someone whom you can talk the way you want and feel homely. <=== that's a rare find - and I am still looking.
Re: Does it ever happen to you?
oh you have put it in a fantastic way njmasti.well said.and i feel very much the same.