to refuse someone entry to a janaza?
I went to a funeral on Friday, the family recently have been going through very difficult times, the lady who died (pbuh) died of a heart attack after her brother put some disturbing accusations on her. Needless to say his actions led to her death. Her son refused to let his uncle enter the masjid and see her body…
Its caused massive controversy amongst our muslim society. What do you all make of the situation?
Re: Does anyone have the right...
woman are not allowed to.
Kabhie to poorie post parh liya karo 
KP: Honestly, prayers are one of the only things that can help a person after death, you should encourage dua from everyone. I can understand the son’s reaction, must be hard for him to lose his mother in such a sudden and tragic way but dua’as shouldn’t be discouraged. 
Re: Does anyone have the right...
I think at such times all feuds and problems should be set aside. Islam teaches us forgiveness. Yes the situation and circumstances may not be forgotten but one can attempt to set aside differences at such an occasion.
Some things we have no control over and what is written for us will occur. It is just unfortunate that the mother passed away in such circumstances. The prayers of those who are left behind can be so powerful and one should not turn away duas.
May Allah give the family sabr through this difficult time. Aameen
Re: Does anyone have the right...
i def think there might be more to the story
Re: Does anyone have the right...
I believe it has less to do with having the right to refuse entry and more to do with the kind of trauma one is going through and the resulting reaction towards the dirty politicians of the family. I have seen similar instances whereby I was actually glad that such jackasses were asked to leave.
Yes, it takes a bigger heart to forgive, but then these players should also see the time and place for the usual crap that they have to offer. Normally, a person is emotionally shattered after losing a loved one, and they should be offered support at such tough times. Unfortunately there are people, normally the relatives, who try to use that opportunity for their own political objectives. Such rotters should be thrown out.
Re: Does anyone have the right...
I think at a time like this when the son is already suffering from losing his mother in such a tragic and abrupt way, he cant be expected to look at the man who caused it. You dont have the emotional strength to deal with drama at that point.
He has to bury his mother first, get over her death and then deal with this insensitive uncle.
One thing at a time.
Re: Does anyone have the right...
Youre right Sara, the 2 families have never really got on. I'm not sure if its jealousy or what but the ladys brother always spoke bad of her and most of her family hadn't been speaking to her properly recently either. She however never said a bad word about them and still made an effort to be there for them when they needed her. From what I knew of her she was a lovely women, and most of the community chose to associate themselves with her over her brother and the majority of her extended family. But I guess what her son did really hit a nerve with a lot of people. Tbh though if I was in his situation I think I would've done the same...but Islamically did he do something really bad?
Re: Does anyone have the right...
^ Specifically speaking about this situation, I don't know. But Islam does encourage keeping close ties and forgiveness over acting in anger. But again, we dont know the whole story (nor do we need to knw). yI guess this query would be better answered in Religion fourm.
Re: Does anyone have the right...
needless to say heart disease was never induced by accusations.
Re: Does anyone have the right...
It is one thing to accuse people of something and then to arrive at the same person's funeral to shed crocodile tears. The son was perfectly justified in what he did. I think I would have done the same. I might be wrong Islamically but just wondering if it is essential that we be near the dead body when praying for the dead. The uncle could have done the dua from the comfort of his home. He should have realised that his appearance would have these ramificatons. If he felt genuine sorrow, he should have waited for a few days and then visited his nephew and offered his condolences.
Maybe it wasn't the accusations that killed her.....it was simply her time to leave this world as destined by Allah. There are many people who have received shocking news.....and they don't die. They might go speechless, they might faint, they don't necessarily die.
Perhaps her health played a role as well. Maybe her diet wasn't healthy and as a result her arteries were becoming clogged allowing less blood flow to the heart....and the accusations just made the condition of her heart worse. *So, would you blame the accusations that recently came about as the cause of her death? * *Or would you blame the many years of an unhealthy diet as the cause of her death? * Perhaps she has a problem with high blood pressure......and any amount of stress could worsen the situation. *Would you blame the high blood pressure as the cause of death? *
Let's IMAGINE that the lady's brother NEVER made any accusations. But a guest **comes to the home and gives the lady some tragic news of a family member's death.......would that guest be the cause of death?** What if the lady heard from a doctor that GOD FORBID one of her family members has a terminal illness.....and she has a heart attack.........would the doctor who delivered such news be the cause of her death?
What if the lady had a naturally weak heart and out of nowhere a cat jumps out and scares her. Should the cat be blamed for her death?
My intention is not to be rude or disrespectful in any way. I'm just trying to point out various scenarios. When a loved one dies, we go through a grieving process. And during the grieving process, it's natural to get angry and blame someone for the cause of death. But is that reasonable? And is the lady going to come back by doing so? Yes, in ISLAM, it is advised that we control our anger and mind our tongues and this situation is a lesson for all of us to be careful of how we conduct ourselves in our relationships with loved ones.
Often times we get mad at the people we love and treat them bad. Sometimes we might treat our own parents in a disrespectful manner. But when that person is gone from the world..........we realize how much we really loved that person and how we should have been more careful with our actions. This is a natural realization and feeling that most people go through.
The lady who died was someone's sister. And we will NEVER know what is in another person's** heart*. What if he **TRULY* feels guilt for his actions and wants the opportunity to at least PRAY for his sister's well-being in her grave? A dead person can use as many DUAS **as he or she can get....why deprive the woman from this benefit? She can't come back anymore and fight him. At least she can receive the benefit of the duas from her family and friends......all that she can get. There is **hadith that says a Muslim's dua for another Muslim in his absence is accepted the fastest. **We all will have differences with others and days when our pride and anger gets the best of us. And coming to the Janaza of a woman who died right after **you lashed out at her.......takes courage.
Perhaps the condolences of the brother were fake. Perhaps they were genuine. We'll never know what is in one's heart. It would be the BIGGER thing to forgive and invite the OFFENDER to the funeral and then resume maintaing a distance. However it is also understandable if the family chose to prevent the brother from attending the funeral.
It's a tough situation to be in.....and no doubt an emotionally painful one. It was the woman's time to go. And we hope that her family will soon find peace and sabr during this turbulent time.
Re: Does anyone have the right...
So it's totally impossible that such heavy emotional trauma can trigger a physical reaction that can kill someone?
So it's totally impossible that such heavy emotional trauma can trigger a physical reaction that can kill someone? NO a cat did NOT jump out and scare her to death, a guest did not kill her with bad news, point is she died after someone made accusations against her that shocked her and killed her. They're not in a criminal court that we have to determine if they are guilty or innocent, but if the family esp the children feel this way, well i dont blame em. Such cold, sick responses...ick.
Sara516,
I never said that it WAS **a cat that jumped out and killed her. I **never said that it WAS a guest killed her. And I NEVER said that it was "totally impossible" *for someone to die from emotional trauma. If you read my previous post i said......that people don't *"necessarily" *die from trauma. The word *"necessarily" **implies that although it **might **be possible to die from emotional trauma....it's also **may not **be the **absolute reason for death. This word leaves room for a variety of possibilities.
I had sincereand genuineintentions about responding to this thread. I never tried to *invalidate **the feelings of pain that this family is going through. I never put the family down for dismissing the uncle from the funeral. This is reflected in the part of my post where I wrote: *"Perhaps the condolences of the brother were fake. Perhaps they were genuine. We'll never know what is in one's heart. It would be the BIGGER thing to forgive and invite the OFFENDER to the funeral and then resume maintaing a distance. However it is also understandable if the family chose to prevent the brother from attending the funeral."
**I tried to look at this scenario from various angles and not just one angle. As a Muslim, I believe that our time of death is already destined by Allah. Some people die from cancer. Some people die in freak accidents. Some people die from the carelessness caused by a drunk driver. Some people die from a disease they caught from another person. Just recently, there was a news article about a woman who accidentally killed her newborn baby. The woman had gone to the doctor for oral inflammation, she had cold sores. The doctor prescribed medicine but she didn't think about her sickness when she kissed her newborn. The newborn caught the disease from the kiss an died. You could blame the mother for her thoughtlessness. Or you can accept that **ultimately **this is what Allah had destined and offer condolences to the woman.
I believe that Allah has created sicknesses, accidents, as ways to bring about our death. Whether our death is brought about by someone's carelessness or lack of anger management (a brother losing his temper and hurling accusations at his sister)........we go when Allah has planned us to go.....not a second earlier......not a second later.
One can argue that a death was caused SOLELY by a particular event. But as Muslims we believe that death is written by Allah, so instead of attributing THE ENTIRE CAUSE OF DEATH to an incident.......we ALSO say that it ULTIMATELY it was Allah's marzi. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajioon.
I even said in my previous post that its understandable if the woman's family doesn't want the uncle to be a part of the funeral. Yet I was also looking at it from the angle that we don't know what is in the guy's heart.....perhaps he's genuinely hurt that he had to part with his sister in such a harsh manner. Perhaps he came to offer sincere prayers. A dead person can use all the sincere duas he or she can get. It takes courage and humility to show up at the funeral of someone you had a spat with.
Please try to understand that I'm **NOT **saying that the woman's brother was innocent. In my previous post, I even said that perhaps the guy's condolenscens are fake, we'll never know what is in someone's heart. **We also will NEVER know about the personal history of this family as we don't live with them. We don't know the nature of the accusations or the argument or the history of family rivalry. The creator of this thread asked for our opinion........and we are doing just that..........we're giving our opinions.
**I took out my time to look at this scenario from vairous angles. My intention was not to disrespect anyone least of all the family concerned. I even mentioned that in my previous post.
Sara 516, I don't appreciate my response being called "sick and cold." Being "sick" and "cold" were not my intentions when responding to this thread. I showed sensitivity by hoping that the dead woman will get the beneift of all the duas made for her soul. I even said that it's understandable if the woman's family prevented the uncle from coming to the janaza. I even wished the family sabr and peace during this difficult time. But these parts were not read, I guess.
The poster asked for an opinion and I offered an opinion after much thought. You don't have to agree with my opinion. We can agree **to **disagree **in a **CIVIL manner ......**BUT **there's no need to call my response cold and sick. That was unbelievably unnecessary.
Re: Does anyone have the right...
^ Sorry I wasn't calling your response cold and ick. Though I shouldnt have said that period. My apologies.
I think at a time like this when the son is already suffering from losing his mother in such a tragic and abrupt way, he cant be expected to look at the man who caused it. You dont have the emotional strength to deal with drama at that point.
He has to bury his mother first, get over her death and then deal with this insensitive uncle.
One thing at a time.
agree!