Re: Doctor looking for doctor
^ and then they wonder why docs are wary of marrying people who dont have respect for them...which usually are people who have a totally skewed image of a docs life.
So far I've heard that docs are status hungry, have too much extra money, are greedy to marry others with high salaries, are exclusive...
Wow. No wonder so many male docs don't want to marry outside their profession...
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
^ More doctors marry someone who is not a doctor. Men or women. it is not like every doctor runs after a doctor to marry.
They even marry a regular housewife just to have a family life since their routine is already hectic enough.
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
I'd say it varies but the desi trend is to look for another doctor and it's probably because of how disrespectful people are towards doctors. Despite all the saccrifices they make to take care of all your sick behinds
^ More doctors marry someone who is not a doctor. Men or women. it is not like every doctor runs after a doctor to marry.
They even marry a regular housewife just to have a family life since their routine is already hectic enough.
I agree with this. Not all doctors are after doctors. I am married to a doctor and I am not a doctor. I think its just a preference. My husband strictly said not to doctors because he didn't want to marry someone in the same profession who also had a hectic lifestyle. Most of his friends don't want doctors either.
If some doctor wants to marry a doctor, sure, that's how they want it. They are fine with busy lifestyle of both, husband and wife. Whatever works for them.
^ and then they wonder why docs are wary of marrying people who dont have respect for them...which usually are people who have a totally skewed image of a docs life.
So far I've heard that docs are status hungry, have too much extra money, are greedy to marry others with high salaries, are exclusive...
Wow. No wonder so many male docs don't want to marry outside their profession...
In the UK the salaries don't tend to be amazingly high anyway (working in the private sector can be an obvious exception to this tho) but there is the stability.. if someone wants to marry for money over here they'd be better off going for a stockbroker or city banker but strangely the aunties haven't cottoned onto this :D
Coming from a family where everyone but me is a doctor I honestly couldn't stomach marrying one, the long hours they have to work, the trips away for conferences or when they are at home they've so often got their noses in a book.. I need a husband who is around for me so it would drive me mad..
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
I feel the same way. Desis are after status,
especially desi moms. The groom and bride may not care but when your mom is limiting your rishtas to doctors especially when you are NOT a doctor, something is wrong.
I know a family where they made a damaad collection of doctors. Their minds exploded when one of the damaads dipped. Now they're short one doctor and the mom continues to look for another doctor. If you mention any guy who isn't a doctor, they don't want to listen. Now that is status seeking.
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
I wonder what’ll happen to the status seeking mentality if the socialist health care system kicks in and docs make zilch! 
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
Spock. Divorce lawyers will be the next generations' MIL hunters' target.
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
As a woman who is training to be a doctor.
I hope to marry someone who understands that:
i cant just take a day off work, i might have to work nights and weekends, i might be stressed out with exams and i will see things that will seriously screw with my head.
now this is most likely to be another doctor, it doesnt have to be.
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
So it seems the perception is that only another doctor will understand the demands of the career, and therefore only a doctor will make a suitable spouse. Part of it may have to do with status, but it's more about understanding the lifestyle associated with being a doctor.
I guess I can understand it for female doctors in particular, who might feel they are sacrificing their traditional role in the home and that others will not understand that.
But there are other grueling careers. Other careers where you can't take a day off very easily. Other careers where you're on call 24-7. Other careers where you are under a great deal of stress. It is rare that people in those careers demand someone on the same career path.
But I suppose in addition to all of the above, a doctor's life does in theory come with a degree of stability that is ALSO desirable, whereas other demanding careers MAY not.
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
doctors aren't aliens, and nor were they born with supernatural powers
everyone is different, and each life has its own unique issues and challenges
you don't have to be a doctor to relate to one, anyone pretending otherwise needs to either get over themselves or admit to being money/status whores
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
so, if I want maximum bang for my buck and to be able to retire as early as possible, what specialty should I target when I go looking for my cash cow? sorry mean wife...
^A podiatrist, cause that’s the closest you’re gonna get to a “cash cow”
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
^ How about a proctologist who frequently runs out of lubricant jelly?
doctors aren't aliens, and nor were they born with supernatural powers
everyone is different, and each life has its own unique issues and challenges
you don't have to be a doctor to relate to one, anyone pretending otherwise needs to either get over themselves or admit to being money/status whores
Great!
But.... in some ways doctors have very heavy burden and try their best even in odd hours and take time from family to help someone....regardless if they get financial benefit or not. Even in so called materialistic society there are and always have been doctors who believe in helping people.
They beat the death frequently or in better sense lets just say they are the 'means' which even God/Allah utilizes means for others to give a valid excuse of beating death!
Great!
But.... in some ways doctors have very heavy burden and try their best even in odd hours and take time from family to help someone....regardless if they get financial benefit or not. Even in so called materialistic society there are and always have been doctors who believe in helping people.
They beat the death frequently or in better sense lets just say they are the 'means' which even God/Allah utilizes means for others to give a valid excuse of beating death!
If I did not know the context, I would've thought you were talking about teaching. My job is 24-7. I dream lesson plans. And the relationship is about more than teaching subject matter, so it's a big emotional strain and time drain.
But you never hear of teachers limiting rishtas to other teachers.
As a woman who is training to be a doctor.
I hope to marry someone who understands that:
i cant just take a day off work, i might have to work nights and weekends, i might be stressed out with exams and i will see things that will seriously screw with my head.
now this is most likely to be another doctor, it doesnt have to be.
agreed but doctors can be jerks too therefore since in the end we all want an understanding & caring life partner around, hopefully others who have this quality would also do.. fingers crossed
PCG you need to post your pic in white gown :@: One thing I have noticed that male doctors are usually more polite as compare to female ones . May be being a woman and on the top of it being a doctor makes them so cranky .
I hope that was a joke :)
No, actually it's the environment of medical training where female students need to be more cut-throat to appear as smart and talented as their male counterparts to their superiors. I have a friend who is currently in school and she says that the OB professors (mostly female!) actually made her CRY on multiple occasions because they are so critical of female students that are too "soft-hearted" or emotional. One attending actually introduced her female student as "delicate" to the patient b/c the student almost passed out once during a procedure. That's incredibly demeaning- to do that in front of a patient. Meanwhile, male students usually don't come across this problem.
Also- I agree w/ PCG, I don't think any other profession requires the amount of simple greuling training that a being a doc does. I don't know of many professions that had 17 hour shifts as part of a 3+ year training. 17 hours. constantly on your feet, not at some desk. If you're still a student or resident, asking for a lunch break is out of question- just eat on your feet. It depends on your goals/residency but most come with this sort of package. Coming out of that, I am sure many women will feel insulted if their husbands marginalize their efforts or wonder why their wife doesn't look like a supermodel all the time.
I think a lot of the time its more the female docs that prefer docs, and i think it might be that they want someone they can look up to. after valuing education and work for so many years, a doc seems like the only option. Another aspect is security. If a woman decides to devote time to her family and leave work, it wouldn't make sense if her husband makes significantly less than she would have made as a doc. And I don't know how ready desi society is for stay at home dads lol
Re: Doctor looking for doctor
I'm training to be a doctor and the last thing I'd want to do is marry one :/ I would get very bored if my life at work and outside revolved around medicine. I think it is nice to marry someone who has a completely different background, it makes life more interesting.
I have to admit though that doctors would generally be a lot more understanding of my career than a lay person. It's not very easy to take a few years off to have kids, you have to work night shifts in nearly any speciality you want to go into, you have to be on call- maybe even on weekends. Oh and something desis don't seem to grasp is that doctors in the UK earn a lot less than many other professions!
I hope that was a joke :)
No, actually it's the environment of medical training where female students need to be more cut-throat to appear as smart and talented as their male counterparts to their superiors. I have a friend who is currently in school and she says that the OB professors (mostly female!) actually made her CRY on multiple occasions because they are so critical of female students that are too "soft-hearted" or emotional. One attending actually introduced her female student as "delicate" to the patient b/c the student almost passed out once during a procedure. That's incredibly demeaning- to do that in front of a patient. Meanwhile, male students usually don't come across this problem.
Also- I agree w/ PCG, I don't think any other profession requires the amount of simple greuling training that a being a doc does. I don't know of many professions that had 17 hour shifts as part of a 3+ year training. 17 hours. constantly on your feet, not at some desk. If you're still a student or resident, asking for a lunch break is out of question- just eat on your feet. It depends on your goals/residency but most come with this sort of package. Coming out of that, I am sure many women will feel insulted if their husbands marginalize their efforts or wonder why their wife doesn't look like a supermodel all the time.
I think a lot of the time its more the female docs that prefer docs, and i think it might be that they want someone they can look up to. after valuing education and work for so many years, a doc seems like the only option. Another aspect is security. If a woman decides to devote time to her family and leave work, it wouldn't make sense if her husband makes significantly less than she would have made as a doc. And I don't know how ready desi society is for stay at home dads lol
I agree with you about having to be more cut throat as a female. O&G especially is full of not very nice female doctors. I just ignore rude people and I'm determined to NOT be like one of these female consultants when I 'grow up'. It is changing a bit now that there are more girls going into medicine than boys. Once the gender balance changes then the sexism will hopefully disappear.