Do your parents fight and who do you think is at fault? Do you think its because of other people? How has growing up in such an environment affected your personality?
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I am sure they do. I have observed them “naraz” from each other but never witnessed them fighting. I am sure they do fight (or do heated arguments) like any other healthy couple but not in front of us…not even now (let alone when we were kids)
We try to emulate them but sometimes its hard. Key is for one of the two to shut-up…in our case that me 
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
Thats great masha Allah. Little arguments are alright, I meant like proper fights. Shouting and all
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
My parents were constantly fighting. A lot of physical domestic abuse/ daily emotional abuse. My dad’s anger was the cause and my mum just took it and saw her role as sticking your marriage out no matter what. The result…she took it out on me. Yes I’ve been affected although Alhumdullilah at 31 it’s the most content I’ve been. How did the abuse manifest itself in me, hmmm, an eating disorder which I occasionally relapse, anxiety, have overcome severe depression, and OCD. I constantly worried as a child with a heightened sense of fear.
The sad thing is my brother is turning into my dad and almost identically imitates his actions/ words when displaying his anger. Sad for my nieces who witness it and shocking for my child who is shocked when he sees it so I try keep him away.
I myself have had anger outbursts and become violent with my partner and it’s taken me several years to allow my husband to emotionally connect with me. Sad really as he is a true gem and everything I could have ever dreamed of. He has stuck by me but just. He was ready to leave after I had Post natal Depression due to my violence and irrational behaviour but with Allah’s mercy he stayed and we r both the happiest we have ever been… His words not mine.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I forgot to mention mild self harming and a suicide attempt as a teenager. I just wanted to die as I had no confidence/ self- esteem. I believe this came down more to my mothers appalling treatment of me opposed to my parents difficult relationship.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
A thought provoking poem I came across when studying child psychology.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I am glad you feel better now.
I can feel your pain to some extent…grew up watching my parents fight. Like my mom never fought, but my dad always did. And he still does so.
As a result, I guess I am more serious than other people my age. And I can never take any problem of mine to my dad, which makes it so bad whenever I am in a problem cos he is never there.
Anyways, alhamdolillah no complaints. Happy with the life I have.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I have read this before, but thanks for sharing! Good to read it again
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I still call my parents passive aggressive because that’s what they each represent. My mum is the aggressive one and my dad is the passive one. The time my parents were having financial issues because my uncles were taking money from my father without his permission was a mess. My dad never made a move against them which was the source of conflict.
Even then, as a kid, I knew both my parents were good people who had their own weaknesses and strengths. Instead of using each other’s strengths they were too busy getting annoyed by their weaknesses. I was not particularly emotional so I could view them as impartially as possible. I did often wonder whether a divorce would be a better option for them because for two people who were incredibly uncomplicated to my view they could not see each other properly.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
i did see my parents fighting like the serious kinds of fights when i was a kid. it didn’t happen all the time, just sometimes. My mother is the one who could get upset and annoyed easily, and the fights used to start because of the lack of time given to my mother by my father. its like my father’s first marriage is with his work and due to the nature of his business he really used to be extremely busy even on weekends, so he couldn’t give time at home or family much and this always annoyed my mom. My father had a stance that if he is giving all the comforts, money and independence to my mother then she should not complain and my mother never agreed. When there were fights on this issue, 10 other different issues also used to come on surface and fights got huge. They tried not to start in front of us kids and it usually happens in their own room, but the raised voices could be heard by us. How it impacted me? I was not really a very emotional person as a kid and since my life had always been so full of activities i didn’t dwell on these fights much but while they were fighting the fear did come to me as to what if divorce happens, because i had some kids at my schools whose parents had been divorced because they fight too much so as a kid i used to think that if too much fights happen then divorce happens and divorce means that my dad and mom will live in different houses and us siblings will have to live with either of them and we all can’t live in the same house ever. These thoughts were creepy enough but with time it got better.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I don’t get why divorce is such a taboo in our society…why do parents drag a relationship when they hate each other so much.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
I am glad things got better for you. At least your parents had the decency to fight in their room.
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
Story of my life! How strange how someone can have the exact story as another person.. The only difference in my story is that I actually left them, at the young age of 17 I packed my bags and left! They then disowned me for my courage of leaving an abusive family, they just couldn’t get over the fact that little old me left THEM!
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
Really PreciousHeera. How ironic our stories coincide. How is life now? Do speak to any family meme bet? It must have been such a tough thing to especially belonging to the pak community. Has it left you with any anxiety?
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
No. Never seen them fight. Not even seen them raise their voices at each other, Alhamdulillah and Mashallahxx. Both of my parents are pretty calm and loving people - sure they probably disagree like any other couple, but it’s not something they do in front of us. In front of us they are always one unite 
.. Good thing is I grew up in a very happy and positive environment, so I can look at 99 % of my problems in a positive way. The bad thing is when people argue/fight with me or in front of me I leave. I cannot handle the stress. Bummer 
Re: Do your parents fight? How has it affected your life?
We don’t really speak, I try to talk with them but there being awkward, I met them a about a month back, but they haven’t called since, I called them yesterday but my mum just hung up on my call… There very on and off with me… The rest of the extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles ect) have cut me off completely as though I don’t exist… Yeah I have anxiety issues.. 