in our society, most love marriages would work out if they were supported by parents? Please state why or why not..
I think any kind of marriage, be it arranged or love, would work out much better if the parents supported it. I've seen situations where two people have been involved and the guy's parents didn't accept the girl for petty reasons. When a guy is put in that kind of situation, 90% of the time he will do whatever his parents say. If they say get rid of her, the guy will.
Very few people, both girl and boy, have the courage to stand up for the person they supposedly care for when it comes to fighting their parents. Afterall, the parents raised them and loved them their entire life. Therefore, it is difficult for the person to go against their parents wishes. It's a lot easier to end things with the girl/boy they just met rather than going against the people who have been there for them, loved them and supported them their entire lives.
It just works out better if both parties are happy with the match. It puts far too many unnecessary hardships on the relationship when one party is being told to end it by their parents.
^^
Very true Mehnaz! :k:
There are problems in every marriage. Every couple needs help and support from their parents but I’ve seen that in most love marriages parents do not try to help their children to “stay in marriage”. Whenever there’s a problem, their attitude is usually like “hum ne to mana kia tha phir bhi tum dono ne apni marzi say shadi ki, ab khud hi bhugto”…I think because of this attitude these marriages easily break. IF parents did treat these marriages as they do to other types of marriages then IMO, they would work out fine.
Any marriage would work out, especially supported by family. Actually, I even know of some initially not supported by family that have worked out quite well but for the most part, I think marriages need the support of family members to stand a chance at being successful.
Wow… I’m surprised to see no one has said anything opposing to my views on this issue…
Aren’t there people who believe that parents make “better choices” for their children ? They’re more experienced afterall. How can you trust to have a successful marriage with a person that YOU chose not your parents ? 
*Parents' blessing is important because
these people who go thru the pains and turmoils and hardships
of raising a child for so many years should have every
right to their say in the most important decision of the
child's life. Any marriage is a tremendous responsibility
but love marriage takes a lot more
than arranged marriage for in
love marriage should something go wrong the sole
responsibility falls upon the shoulders of the two people
who sought to wed the other person at their
own will. And for that reason whether the parents
oppose or approve of their child's decision to wed
the other person, it's upon the son or daughter
to analyze the situation themselves first hand
from every single angle and be sure beyond all doubts
that this is the person they want to spend the
rest of their lives with. *
^ Do you by any chance believe that parents make better choice than their children? And, are you saying that "most" love marriages don't work out because the 2 people who married on their own weren't responsible? How are things handled by parents if there is a problem in an arrange marriage, don't the parents help their kids to solve the problems.
I was watching a Pakistani drama recently. And in the story, they showed this couple who had a love marriage and during their first years of marriage they got into a few fights and the hubby ended up pronouncing a divorce to his wife in anger(for once). She left to her parents' house and then her parents never let her go back to her hubby even when he came to apologize to her. That ended up in a permenant divorce and misery for both of them. So I was thinking, how would her parents possibly react if it was an arrange marriage? And do couples not have these types of problems in an arrange marriages? Just curious.
**
[Quote]
Do you by any chance believe that parents make better choice than their children?
[/Quote]
Sometimes they might other times they might not.
It depends on the maturity of the parents and
their understanding of the likes and dislikes of
their child. Also how well they know the person
they have raised is also a big factor.
[Quote]
And, are you saying that "most" love marriages don't work out because the 2 people who married on their own weren't responsible?
[/Quote]
By no means. I said that in a love marriage
there is greater responsibility falling directly
upon the shoulders of the two people who wed
each other because initially it was their own decision
to start with. That is not to say that people in an
arranged marriage situation can act as irresponsible
as they desire because the decision wasn't their own.
They would have as much responsibility as well since
they are in a marital relationship, now whether they
choose to recognize it or not is another matter.
Regarding the drama...
There are men, those who wear the threat of divorce
on their sleeve in every nation, color and race. The
important thing to be taken care of before saying 'I dos'
whether arranged or marriage is
istikhara, Allah knows things that sometimes people
don't. The best thing to do is to check it out with
Him first, see if it's ok.
I personally think that any man in a fit of anger
who can pronounce divorce upon his wife, can
and WILL do it again at some point or time. Divorce
and marriage are two things which should never
be treated as lightly as they most often are. My opinion
on the matter is that the girls parents did the right thing
by not letting her go back to the guy. A guy who looses
complete control of himself in a state of anger to the point
where he would be on the verge of losing everything he
has with a woman by divorcing her is not fit to be lived
with in the first place. Arranged or love, her parents
did the right thing.**
I agree with you Mehnaz.
Ive nothing to add.
Nilu.
my sister in law gave me a piece advice that I think is priceless..
It is really iimportant to get your parents involved and to have them "buy into" the marriage..and that they (the parent's) want the marriage to work. Because, no matter how much in love you both are and how suited to each other you are...there are going to be times in your life, in your relationship, where you'll have problems and where you will need your parent's support and help and desire to keep the marriage workign to help you get through the tough times.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by amelie: *
my sister in law gave me a piece advice that I think is priceless..
It is really iimportant to get your parents involved and to have them "buy into" the marriage..and that they (the parent's) want the marriage to work. Because, no matter how much in love you both are and how suited to each other you are...there are going to be times in your life, in your relationship, where you'll have problems and where you will need your parent's support and help and desire to keep the marriage workign to help you get through the tough times.
[/QUOTE]
Priceless indeed!
CA, your initial statement is correct in my view, i would elaborate a little.
love marriages which have parental support have a higher probability of being successful if we dont factor in other variables, couple's own adjustment, lifestyle expectations and realities, socioeconomic issues etc.
and the exclusion from this group would be people who dont give a damn about what the parents think, their marriages have equal chances of success and failure whether or not theya re supported by the parents since the parents' acceptance becomes inconsequential.
How do you describe “mature parents”??
It makes little sense to me if you say that another person(any person) can understand me more than I know myself. It’s understandable if the child is not mature enough(also depends on his/her age) parents should not let them make these decisions but it’s really disturbing to see cases where parents don’t want their kids to have a “say” in any major decisions of their lives. Pretty sad I must say.
Yes! You proved my point that in love marriages children have to be more responsible because “in love marriages parents do not support or help their children as they would in an arranged marriage” 
:k:
Good point! But you see, there are lots of arranged marriages in our society where same kind of conflicts arise quite often but they’re resolved by parents and kept in secret just because those parents don’t want to feel guilty or let others criticize them. I personally have come accross a couple of cases where a hubby pronounced a divoce to his wife but they still stayed in marriage. I wouldn’t wonder why because I think these people aren’t confident enough to make major decisions. There are lots of marriages like that in our society but you won’t know until you know someone close who has gone through these problems.
Love or arranged, a marriage is a marriage but there’s a stereotype about love marriages that they mostly don’t work out. Why they won’t work out is the reason I have stated in this thread.
I agree with you 101%. :k: :k:
Someone very close to me had love marriage(my sister) and she went through similar kind of problems(adjusting to new environment, etc) that women go through in any other normal marriage and I must say, if she wasn’t responsible and if she didn’t have support from parents then her marriage most possibly wouldn’t work out.
Those are immature people indeed. I firmly believe that without parental support any type of marriage can’t last for long (there r some exceptional cases though).
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by amelie: *
my sister in law gave me a piece advice that I think is priceless..
It is really iimportant to get your parents involved and to have them "buy into" the marriage..and that they (the parent's) want the marriage to work. Because, no matter how much in love you both are and how suited to each other you are...there are going to be times in your life, in your relationship, where you'll have problems and where you will need your parent's support and help and desire to keep the marriage workign to help you get through the tough times.
[/QUOTE]
yupi, it's a perfect advice! :)
yes in both cases if a coupel have parent's support thu mostly everything works out really well :-)