Yesterday’s was my fathers 15th. It slipped out of my mind and then Niks txted me and asked me to do dua for him. Its not that I dont love or miss him but we never observed his death anniversary but maybe forgeting the day was bit too much.
Do you remember your love ones on the day you lost them? Is it ok if it slips out of your mind? Or it means that you are forgetting them all together.
BTW. my mom recites quran for him everyday and I do it as much as possible.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
No you do not need a special day to remember your loved ones who've passed. You pray for him every day, read the Qur'an for him, which is a sadaqah e jaariya for him, his granddaughters read the Qur'an and ask dua for him which is even a greater sadaqah e jaariya, so to remember him on just the day he died isn't an the only way you cherish the memories, neither is it an Islamic requirement or needed as he is in your heart all the time.
What happens with time is that you learn to handle the losses, and then dates aren't signficant, just the loss.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
I dont believe on specific days. Neither good ones nor bad ones. I remember my loved ones regardless of days. I believe that human love should be free of reminder or scheduler.
its perfectly OK that you dont do "ehtetamam" on THE day as long as you know you love him and you pray for him
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
I do if I'm in Pak otherwise i just do regular dua,i do that anyway after salaat.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
Thanks Niks and DC6. I guess I want to know how long does it take when that date automatically does not ring a bell inside you. I am not gonna lie that yesterday was the first time, but it did not happen for first few years. For first few years, just the month of Oct reminded me of that day but later on, it slowly started taking a back seat I guess
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
I do if I'm in Pak otherwise i just do regular dua,i do that anyway after salaat.
how do you observe that in Pakistan? Do a quran khawani?
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
We just read and pray, like any other day. Although for me, personally, on the day of the anniversary my memory sets itself back to all those memorable moments, nostalgia hits and before I know it, the shower of tears begin.
To your other question, it's been over a decade and I don't think it has slipped my mind even once. Like you said, even the month is enough of a reminder.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
Thanks Niks and DC6. I guess I want to know how long does it take when that date automatically does not ring a bell inside you. I am not gonna lie that yesterday was the first time, but it did not happen for first few years. For first few years, just the month of Oct reminded me of that day but later on, it slowly started taking a back seat I guess
When you reach 50, so I presume you're gonna celebrate your 50th this year?
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
how do you observe that in Pakistan? Do a quran khawani?
Yeah Quran Khawani and then give food to relatives and poor.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
We just read and pray, like any other day. Although for me, personally, on the day of the anniversary my memory sets itself back to all those memorable moments, nostalgia hits and before I know it, the shower of tears begin.
i think this is exactly what I wanted to say and you put it so nicely. That film that started to role in my mind on that day, on its 10 AM in USA, that is when he went to the the hospital. Oh its 2 PM in USA, that is when he passed away, oh its 7 PM, that is when I got the news.
All that is kind of going away.
When you reach 50, so I presume you're gonna celebrate your 50th this year?
Ha Ha Ha .. quick suggestion Hareem. If you ever want to pick Stand Up comedy, do it as a hobby, dont quit your day time job for that.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
i think this is exactly what I wanted to say and you put it so nicely. That film that started to role in my mind on that day, on its 10 AM in USA, that is when he went to the the hospital. Oh its 2 PM in USA, that is when he passed away, oh its 7 PM, that is when I got the news.
All that is kind of going away.
Ha Ha Ha .. quick suggestion Hareem. If you ever want to pick Stand Up comedy, do it as a hobby, dont quit your day time job for that.
lol....don't worry aap ki rozi pay kick tou nahi marni as a job lay ker.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
^ How is that even remotely funny? 
I am very fortunate in that I have not lost anyone in my life, and I can only pray that I never see that day 
but I have been through things where the date will always stay in my memory…at least for now. I know they’re nothing compared to losing a loved one but in many ways, the memories are intense and the pain lessens after time…
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
She implied that I am 50 - and you dont think that its funny. 
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
I dont observe death anniversaries every single year for the people in my life who have passed away. If there is an occasion or a special night, then they are most definitely in my prayers and my thoughts and I pray I will be reunited with them in the Akhira.
It still feels like it was yesterday on the days that I lost them, and I pray that I don't lose and forget the precious memories I shared with them.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
I dont believe on specific days. Neither good ones nor bad ones. I remember my loved ones regardless of days. I believe that human love should be free of reminder or scheduler.
its perfectly OK that you dont do "ehtetamam" on THE day as long as you know you love him and you pray for him
I agree with decent6.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
They are in my prayers everyday. After a while dates become meaningless.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
They are in my prayers everyday. After a while dates become meaningless.
^ yep. in prayers, memories and dreams.... I'll be doing something and I'll get a funny memory and it leaves me smiling, then you think that they are gone and you'll shed few tears or feel a heartache... however after a while specific dates mean nothing as long you keep their memory and values alive and keep praying for them daily.
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
**Reading and remembering deceased loved ones is a daily act for many alhamdolilah but on an “anniversary” we try and conglomerate as a whole immediate family- to make a more concerted effort to pray and make dua:k:****.. may all our Beloved parents and loved ones benefit from their childrens duas, ibaadat, sadka jaariya and good acts Ameen Sum ameeen **
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
Yesterday's was my fathers 15th. It slipped out of my mind and then Niks txted me and asked me to do dua for him. Its not that I dont love or miss him but we never observed his death anniversary but maybe forgeting the day was bit too much.
Do you remember your love ones on the day you lost them? Is it ok if it slips out of your mind? Or it means that you are forgetting them all together.
BTW. my mom recites quran for him everyday and I do it as much as possible.
Hadith of the Prophet SAW That Mistakes done unintentionally and forgetfulness are forgiven by Allah Almighty. (The Arabic Words are: Innal Laaha Yaghfir al Khata'a wa al Nisyaan)..
Point: It means you are Human :D
In Terms of Topic: Well We try to remember Everyones death Anniversary but My father Every night prays Khatam shareef and Sends his Eesal e sawaab to ALL the family members passed away and for all those muslims for whom there isnt anyone to do Eesaal e sawaab for them... Plus every Thursday we do khatam shareef with what ever we have cooked and recited quraan over the week for the loved ones we miss.
So if we did forget anyones anniversary ..Alhamdolillah we try our best not to but doing khatam on Thursdays and My father everynight ..... Covers everyones Anniversary for those we remember and those we ve forgotten and those family members we ve not really known like our great grand parents ..etc..
Re: Do you observe death anniversaries?
I dunno how and why I started writing a letter to my dad on his death anniversary summarizing everything that happened in the life of his daughters every year.. its been 7 years and I re live that day every April 1st.. moreso because for people it's a April fool day and because I heard the news first while talking to our neighbors daughter in Pakistan on msn who said there is an ambulance outside your house and I thought it was April fool and in fact got into an argument with her until she realized I hadn't received the news yet... so yes I re live that day every year.... not intentionally, it's just there.. BUT yes somethings have changed too.. the siren/sight of ambulance used to take me back to that coversation.. I used to be jealous of all girls with fathers because I knew no better.. I no longer feel the pain seeing that but pray that all children cherish their parents forever! Anyway, knowing how different I react to his death now I have realized that life goes on..and as my mom keeps tellings us to say Alhamdulillah for everything.. it oculd have been worse!