Do you forgive or forget?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

I forgive n will not forget but I will also learn from it

22

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

to ERR is HUMAN and to FORGIVE is divine...i firmly believe in it. i'll both forgive and forget and completely erase from my memory as if nothing ever happened. :)

23

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

I do both most of the time and its not always a good thing. The problem with forgetting is that if you do...you're likely to end up in the same spot again. Thats never wise.

So, even though my heart would prefer that I forgive AND forget...my brain tells me not to erase it completely. Forgive as much as you can because it takes much more out of you to be angry...leave it to Allah swt to deal with and move on.

Qissa khatam.

24

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

*aur paisaa HAZAM? hehe *

25

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

i forgive… but i dont forget easily :nahi:

26

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

Anyone who sincerely asks for forgiveness while acknowledging 1) what they did 2) how much it hurt the other person 3) and how sorry they are definitely deserves to be forgiven.

If there is no attempt to seek forgiveness, the whole point is moot. In that case, it is best to move on for one's own peace of mind. As far as forget, one cannot will one's mind to just forget incidents, as many have pointed out.

27

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

Forgive but never forget.

28

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

For those that said 'forgive but never forget' I want to ask.. can you completely forgive when you havn't forgotten the incident?

29

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

that's a very interesting question. hmmm. i think not possible completely.

30

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

It is sometimes possible to put your issues with someone completely behind you and take a fresh start, so you may have forgiven but might not have forgotten (we do have memories), its not exactly possible to press the delete button. I think 'forget' here means that you know what happened but you don't care about that anymore because you feel that certain person is now sincere and someone you can trust again.

31

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

I can forget the incident but I don't forgive the person, not that easily, especially when there is no apology.

32

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

forgiving somebody that hurts you repeatedly, I can't do that after a while.

maybe a robot can put itself in an infinite loop of forgive, forget, get hurt, forgive, forget but is it possible for a human being to forgive somebody everytime, eventually the person that hurts has to make the conscience effort to change their ways. if they are constantly forgiven then they won't ever realize the need to improve right?

33

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

Well I'm not sure if this is any use to this thread but there was an instant when even Rasool Allah sallaho alayhi wassalam had a very hard time forgiving a guy and depending on which source you go with the Prophet either forgave the man on a condition or did not forgive at all...

34

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

good to know that even the holy prophet couldn't get himself to forgive somebody after a while. a human being must have these conditions or else we would be regarded as doormats or pushovers.

35

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

I forgive, i.e. I am no longer emotionally invested in whatever the wrong was and boil my blood over it, I just stop being bothered about it. I dont forget, some wrong happened, which had an impact, at minimum there is a lesson there, and the lesson cant be remembered if the action or incidence is forgotten.

lastly, forgiveness does not mean that the perp gets away free either, There is impact, there can be some action, its not anger fueled revenge though.

36

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

^ Well said X2

37

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

I forgive and try to forget... really really try... it takes time though... but put me in a similar situation and it comes flying back as a warning. I hate the part of me that doesn't forget easily... i even tend to become extremely defensive at times... reserved even... to show the other person that we're back to square one... o why o why o why... :(

38

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

forgive bt its hard to forget!!!

39

Re: Do you forgive or forget?

i listen to the reason why the person did what he/she did. if i feel he/she is genuine, i'll forget anf forgive but if he/she isn't i wud just forgive and not forget...not because i wanna hold grudge against that person but to remember his/her inherent character and be better prepared for the next episode. :)

40

Re: Do you forgive or forget?


It depends. I have only had to face one person in my life who did impact me in many ways by the things she did wrong with me. She gave me a lot of crap & by crap I mean really bad stuff throughout many years. From stealing my makeup during hs days (petty little thing) to actually giving me something where I could have lost my eyes she has done some good harm to me in the past. I have forgiven her, only because I realized she probably had insecurity issues back then. And also because couple of years back I went through an experience where it finally occurred to me that life is too short to hold permanent grudges with anyone. God forbid I don't wanna die or face a situation where the offensive person passed away while I still had negative feelings for them.

I talk to the person mentioned above on monthly sometimes weekly basis. Almost every time I talk to the person I am reminded of the things she has done to me but whatever was in the past was in the past & in present and future I know I have to and will be careful.

To sum it up you can definitely completely forgive the person without forgetting the incident.