Then you may need help.
I don’t get the need to dress up in glam clothes for simple events. Sets the stakes higher for a real prominent event. What do you wear then?
What effect is this having on Pakistani society?
What sorts of pressures are there on guys to buy bling wardrobes for their newbie wives? Or on parents to deck their daughters to fetch good rishtas?
Or on the self esteem of those who can’t afford these dresses? Or can’t fly to Pakistan every year to get a new wardrobe made ?
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
You know my friend, you really need to get out of that maple syrup drinking country and get back to the Starbucks land. You are definitely low on caffeine and high on sugar.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Or on the self esteem of those who can't afford these dresses? Or can't fly to Pakistan every year to get a new wardrobe made ?
OTT dressing is tacky, not flattering. The person usually stands out in a bad way, not an inspiring one. At least in the functions I've attended, people dress reasonably. To answer your questions overall, yes our increasingly materialistic society is creating pressure on those who can't afford as easily. However, at the same time, I don't understand how some people complain that ...oh I don't have the latest desi fashion....so I'm an outcast for the aunti lot and my future is doomed. I see that as a "woe is me" stance. When we have a job interview, we dress our best and a professional wardrobe tends to be on the pricier end but it's something that is invested in. Women invest in a gym....you exert time and so much energy to look good for yourself and let's admit it...to attract others too. So much money is spent yearly on cosmetics and lotions that are not used often and are ineffective....on jewlry that is rarely worn....and there's pampering with mani-pedis, etc. Getting braces is another example. Even if one belongs to the middle class in the US....some amount of money can be set aside (as it is for other things both necessary and unnecessary) for Desi clothes. My sister has ordered some nice pieces within a reasonable price range, so the not-being-able-to-fly-to-Pakistan limitation can be worked around. I don't want to hear examples about the lower socioeconomic class....and it's not because I'm callous or don't sympathize because I do. At the same time....one has to be realistic.....there is an amount of sacrifice involved as it is for other things.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Getting braces is another example.
I agree with what you said, except for the braces bit. I wouldn't put braces in the same category as other cosmetic enhancements as not everyone who gets braces does so for cosmetic reasons. In some cases, flaws of the teeth and jaw are due to structural issues and can cause serious problems later in life if not corrected.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
^
I wasn't deliberately lumping them in the same category, but trying to make a general point. Working out/losing weight....is not only done for aesthetic purposes but also for health reasons.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Lets see..... the kapray jooti thing is ingrained in women's DNA (or at least the desi DNA)... the severity varies....
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
I wouldn't say I dress like a bride, but I like being well dressed. At other people's kid's aqiqahs I dress well but nothing too fancy.
However, I just had my own daughter's aqiqah recently, and for that I went all out. I got a $265 dollar outfit made and it was GORGEOUS. I think it is ok to dress a bit better when it is your own kid's aqiqah. I was the host....I wanted to stand out a bit.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
I don't think there's something wrong with it as long as you don't appear arrogant while you're lavishly dressed. Well dressed and well groomed is something that everybody would want to be. I understand where you're coming from, but if people who enjoy their luxuries are giving their obligated dues of zakat, I would say they are on the right track. God has given some more than others, and there is nothing wrong with utilizing what you have as long as you stay thankful and don't degrade others who aren't as blessed as you are. Just because my neighbor doesn't have grapes in his refrigerator does not mean I would throw grapes out of my house. It is something to be simply thankful for.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
^ So, the only reason you must degrade my sheltered turtle is because it's been blessed with more crispy creme donuts than what you've been blessed with?
Interesting.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Oh look, it's you again. I think you're aiming towards something you clearly misunderstood. I mentioned degradation as a substitute for arrogance. Both words are interrelated.
To be arrogant means to perceive oneself as superior to the rest and at the same time, anticipate another person as inferior to yourself by mentally degrading him.
Your turtle has absolute insignificance in this discussion.
Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
I'm not really sure about over the top dressing but I think every outfit has its time and place to be worn however, I do like to dress nicely when I go out to dinners or whatever it is. I don't dress up like I am going to a shaadi unless the dress code calls for it but I don't think there's anything wrong with people dressing nice if they have the means to do it and are comfortable with it. Who are we to judge, people should be comfy and live and let live. Society in general has become more materialistic for sure but that's also because people have also become more established in their careers and life to be able to afford the things they desire. I can understand the pressures for someone who can't afford new outfits every time but that doesn't mean the people who can should have to consider others when they're dressing up for a party? My statement is a little broad but that also doesn't mean people should be showing off their money to others either which we see a lot of people doing these days. That in my opinion is the problem.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Weddings, birthday and aqiqas are pretty much perceived on the same level when it comes to dressing these days.
What do you wear on weddings?
fancy outfits
What do you wear on birthdays?
fancy outfits
What do you wear on aqiqas?
fancy outfits
From what I have seen in the recent years, dresses are neither too heavy at weddings, nor too light at aqiqas. At the end If one has good taste no matter how little or more they've spent on an outfit, they'll always stand out.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
on my own kid's aqiqa? Hell yeah I'll dress up, anyone has an issue with that...they can GFT.
Otherwise, if i'm close to the family, I'd take my cue on what they're wearing. .I know some families where everyone dresses up alot, and some families are more simple. so i'd dress accordingly.
Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
^ Thats how I gauge it too.
THIS!!!
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Have you seen any white person dress in a white wedding dress at their kids graduation?
That's what desis look like at their aqiqa.
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
^ Sawal is, aapko itni jalan kyun hou rahi hai?
Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Since when is 'white person' a benchmark of social propriety?
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Re: Do you dress like a bride at a kid's Aqiqa?
Wow, I must say, you lot attend some rather interesting aqiqas. I've never been to an aqiqa where anyone, including the parents, was dressed in bridal wear or anything remotely resembling it. People do dress in formal wear as it is a special occasion, after all, but not to the point where it is vulgar or could be confused for bridal wear (as the analogy to a white person wearing a white wedding gown to a graduation would suggest). Most of the people I've observed do what Sara and a couple of other people have suggested:
I'd take my cue on what they're wearing. .I know some families where everyone dresses up alot, and some families are more simple. so i'd dress accordingly.