If not, why not? It doesn’t make sense to not tell each other what it is that’s stopping you from moving forward with the relationship. Or do you believe that one should realise what’s wrong with him/her without the need for someone else to say it? Or that the person shouldn’t need to change according to what you think is right and wrong so you just don’t say anything and move on?
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
I would discuss it. Even if I am completely turned off, I would bring it up and say...this is the reason why I don't think we're a good match.
At least he has the opportunity to clear things up if its a misunderstanding. And if its not...maybe he can change those things about himself later on. Or maybe its just me...either way its a good idea to discuss.
Re: Do you discuss the “red flags” with the potential rishta?
Go on BBQ, I am listening …
PS: On serious note, yes one should. It helps remove the bad taste and guessing game. Sometimes there is misunderstanding that can be taken care off because of speaking up your mind.
I was once told in clear words 
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
if the guy is a tool and that's the reason I'm saying no, then no, I don't take the time to inform him--especially if he was disrespectful. Other than that, I"ll normally just explain the reasoning (it's usually because of my unclear academic future)
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
Yeah, I tell them - it's only fair.
Re: Do you discuss the “red flags” with the potential rishta?
in my opinion, it is very decent way to back from potential rishta. usually, we you are in get to know phase of rishta and one of you realized that this potential candidate is not good option.
many rishtas also turn down in initial family meeting and reason may be family culture/physical attributes/religious views/educational factor etc. so in that instance rishta should not be keep on hold for long period of time and it would allow either party to move one and look for another candidate.
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
i hate talking about this stuff. i believe ppl are either meant to be or they are not. secondly, i also believe that you GAIN your right to be able to tell someone whats a red flag for you and why they should change their lifestyle fto please you. just getting married doesnt give you a free ticket to demand wtever the heck that pleases you.
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
I dunno I'd rather be told the reason why I'm getting rejected so I can change my behavior.
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
Of course. I told a guy, we'll talk once he learn manners.. He never called back.
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
I dunno I'd rather be told the reason why I'm getting rejected so I can change my behavior.
That would make me go crazy. It's unbelievable the amount of faults potential rishtas have found in me from 'poor communication' to 'seems uncaring' to 'doesnt seem serious' while the truth is that I am a very strong communicator in real life, I am a very caring person as per my parents and friends, and I am hell serious about my life. If I sit there believing what they all tell me I need to change about my behaviour, I would really go crazy.
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
Hulahoop, that is exactly what I mean. They judge you in a way that isn't at all correct according to you. Did they ever say all that to your face? You could've cleared up their misunderstandings then and there. For example, if a guy spoke too much and didn't give you a chance to speak much you might speculate that he's too obsessed with himself, disrespectful etc. In actual fact, he might just be too nervous and if you were to tell him what put you off, he may apologise and say sorry I didn't even realise, I was just nervous or something... Why keep crossing people out of your list on the basis of assumptions, speculations and misunderstandings?
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
Hulahoop, that is exactly what I mean. They judge you in a way that isn't at all correct according to you. Did they ever say all that to your face? You could've cleared up their misunderstandings then and there. For example, if a guy spoke too much and didn't give you a chance to speak much you might speculate that he's too obsessed with himself, disrespectful etc. In actual fact, he might just be too nervous and if you were to tell him what put you off, he may apologise and say sorry I didn't even realise, I was just nervous or something... Why keep crossing people out of your list on the basis of assumptions, speculations and misunderstandings?
Nah, I don't clear misunderstandings first time someone is meeting me. I feel like I don't need to justify myself to someone i dont even know. I cross people off my list who think they can make their decision about a person based on one meeting.
Re: Do you discuss the "red flags" with the potential rishta?
Nope. While I'll give the guy the benefit of closure and tell him we just won't work out because our approach and prioroties are different, I do not give him chapter and verse about why I am saying no. For example, I might have thought, but I didn't say:
He's too passive, and his tendency to defer to me wasn't seen as a "postive attribute". To me, it was clear that I'd be running circles around him.
I couldn't stand his mom because she was rude and unkind to me and my family and I would never want to live with her as her DIL in a joint family system.
I think it was easier to just say, we were/are too different and I knew that we lacked compatibility to make a marriage work out. I don't think I owed any of the guys any more of an explanation.