Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
^You're forgetting the mothers. They play an important role in a child's development (both genders do).......and Islam gives mothers a very elevated status.
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
^ yes, mothers have elevated status...once a Sahabi came to Rasoolallah (saw) and asked should I do khidmat of mother or father...Aap (saw) replied...."mother"...again he asked..the answer was same, then again same....fourth time the answer was "father". It indicates that when a person reaches 40 years old, he then understands the nature of woman completely (being a parent, etc).
It is the nature of mother (Aurat) to drop her children when she reaches 60+
Woman takes revenge from husband when children are grown up and married......it is in her fitrat....
60+ kay baad woh apnay beton ka ghar tabah kernay kee koshish kerti hai (she does attack her own kids family)
Accept this reality....
Aurat takes revenge from husband when children are grown up and married......it is in her fitrat....
You're absolutely right. Aur pata kya?
Aurat especially likes to take revenge from husband when he's sleeping. (Also, when he achem doesn't feel like sleeping...but that's another issue)
Anyhow....
In the dead of the night....when all through the house.... not a creature is stirring...not even a mouse. The Aurat.......a stealthy being.......rises from her bed...........and tip toes to the kitchen..........where she rummages in the dark for a knife...........the BIG ONE...........the one you hack gosht with.......and then stealthily creeps toward sleeping husband........pulls back the covers.......AND....
Sleep with your eyes open, Mustana. *** (The above warning also extends to CM)
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
hehehehe :)
you are right about sleeping....i would add.. "sleeping while eyes open".... boys in love are like that..
Aurat aek dodgy creature hai jis ko control kerna nihayat mushkil kaam hai......
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
No I dont talk to them neither try to get in the gathering or meetings, where I get hinted that they might be coming to.
If they are worth to your parents / spouse , they are worth to you too.
I couldn’t have put it nicer myself 
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
@RV
I am not afraid of knife, rather afraid of mixing something in food and then cursing quietly....
Aurat boltee nahee hai...... she is like a hard disk with life time warranty that stores everything and then recall's at once when husband is weaker.... :)
It's a fire a man can't live without....Allah ka nizam hai....
Tu hai muheet-e-bey-karan, mei hoon zara see aab-joo
Ya muje humkinar ker, ya muje bey-kinar ker
Bagh-e-bahisht sey muje, hukm-e-safar diya tha kyun
Kar-e-jahan daraz hai, ab mera intazar ker......
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
My mom was very clear about this on how she want us to deal with it. For example there was some misunderstanding b/w her and her cousin and while my mom was complaining to my Nani, I added couple of sentences only to hear that
"Tumheen koi zarorat nahi bolney ki. Whatever is b/w her and me, its b/w her and me. She is still your elder, tumhare khala hain, respect her"
I wish my parents behaved a certain way to people who were rude to them but they're such pushovers they're still uber nice to people who treat them like crap. As a result I find I'm maybe overly rude or pissed with those relatives to compensate with my parents passiveness.
Also how do you guys prevent that sort of dislike from moving onto the next generation? I find it really hard to like or be nice to the kids of people who have treated my mum like crap. I know you're not supposed to but when I see that their kid has at least the same personality traits as their parents who are assholes to my parents, I think it just sets something off in my head and i just can't be that objective. (ps i'm talking about grown up kids not young ones). I guess bad as it is my reasoning being that I want to make those relatives feel bad like they did to my parents and the kids are just one way I can do that (since I'm not allowed to show direct disrespect to my elders).
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
^ and how are you any better than them then?
hahah don't know i guess, except i didn't start it, i'm just treating them how they treat others? I don't actually do anything that bad outwardly, but inside I'm just really angry at them, I guess part of that fear of agressiveness (from my parents) is in me too, so I find I can never be that cold really, but I'm still really mad inside. I think for me if someone treats me like crap I don't really care and just ignore it, but my mum really takes it to heart and gets genuinely crying upset. When i see that I just get so mad and want to stand up for her.
I wish my parents behaved a certain way to people who were rude to them but they're such pushovers they're still uber nice to people who treat them like crap. As a result I find I'm maybe overly rude or pissed with those relatives to compensate with my parents passiveness.
Also how do you guys prevent that sort of dislike from moving onto the next generation? I find it really hard to like or be nice to the kids of people who have treated my mum like crap. I know you're not supposed to but when I see that their kid has at least the same personality traits as their parents who are assholes to my parents, I think it just sets something off in my head and i just can't be that objective. (ps i'm talking about grown up kids not young ones). I guess bad as it is my reasoning being that I want to make those relatives feel bad like they did to my parents and the kids are just one way I can do that (since I'm not allowed to show direct disrespect to my elders).
My late Nani-aami was a pushover, however when she wasn't able to stick up or her children/or stick up for herself in front of family she made it clear that is wasn't because she didn't want to, it was because my grandfather was very vile towards her and always threatening her with divorce.
Unfortunately the abuse that was taken by my nani aami has effected my mother, and two other aunts. They don't take any stick/flack and sometimes can come across as abrasive. I don't have a relationship at all with certain family members, because when abuse has been thrown at me (by say mums cousins) I've asked for them to either tone it down (politely) or direct it at someone who gives a hoot. They don't like the fact others are willing to stick up for themselves. I'd describe them as bullies.
I've decided that Inshallah I will simply keep my children away from those who clearly take a disliking to my mum/husband/me rather than trying to force a relationship that may turn bitter as not all relationships are plain sailing.
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
growing up, my parents always maintained and expected that regardless of their terms with certain people, children have to respect and interact with the elders. That is the way it was and is for the most part.
However, after growing up, with some of these people I maintained just formalities, because someone who does not respect my parents or is harming them does not get anything more than the formalities.
I did take the unprecedented step in the family history when my aunt was getting on my mums case in my home that I just told her that with all due respect to her as an elder and that her and my mums dealings were their business and not mine, however my mother will not be spoken to in that manner and treated in that manner in my house.
There are cases where people have impacted my folks and my folks have forgiven them, however there was direct impact on us as well, and regardless of things now being forgiven, I feel no obligation to also be hunky dory with these people. forgive one does for one's own sake, but that does not mean they have earned my respect or affection.
my parents always maintained and expected that regardless of their terms with certain people, children have to respect and interact with the elders. That is the way it was and is for the most part.
ditto
Re: Do you deal with family members your parents don't speak to?
hmmm.....