Do Women Need Pampering All Their Life

[CM]

Re: Do Women Need Pampering All Their Life

@Curious Lady

Yes, I would like to elaborate.

See, a girl’s self esteem (speaking in averages here) reaches its lowest when she reaches puberty (research). It is high and healthy before she reaches puberty, after then it takes time for her to start developing a healthier sense of self. Self esteem does better again in late 20s/early 30s and goes up from there.

What is changing in those years? Obviously the body is, which is the case for boys too. But the other thing that is changing is that the girl starts realizing about where she should be according to the society, what she can and cannot do. There is harsher criticism when a woman breaks any cultural norms than when a guy does. Guys are often encouraged to be rebellious, or at the very least, the consequences for them are not as bad. They can break the rules and get away with it too.

Around 30s, in a woman’s life, she usually has had enough experience to start seeing things a bit more healthily and thus things improve. However, the society continues to judge women harshly and thus they continue to be neurotic (probably less so as time goes on). This neuroticism and knowing that she’d be judged for any little mistake she makes, might be the reason why younger women are insecure. They already have low self esteem. And who likes feeling bad about themselves? Validation is a way to undo any criticism that may or may not come their way. It IS validation, that society doesn’t do a good job with.

Now, this doesn’t mean that women should blame it on the society and make their lives difficult. It is smart of women who work on any such lingering issues and try to deal with life more maturely.

Most importantly, no one can hold it against them. Explanations are supposed to garner sympathy for anyone who might be suffering. The women in question and the men who have to make up for the society. Both the people can understand and work on the issue.

While I do not discount anything you have stated. I fail to see the correlation between self-worth and constraints provided by society. Confident women are confident regardless of societal constraints placed on them. The need for self-validation is by no means a symptom of society placing constraints on women. Case in point. All women say they deserve to be pampered. But all these women come various social strata in various different cultures and environs. Blaming society in this case is a crutch. Nothing more.

Men by and large do not have the same over arching desire for self-validation. We get ours from material aspects to an extent. Having a job is a big ego boost for a guy. And a good job they have always wanted well even better. Women need a man to validate them. That is merely based on this thread of course. I don’t see how society applies in this scenario.