A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object.
“I do have three hearts,” said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It’s $100,000.
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The second is from a marathon runner, 24 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It’s $150,000.
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The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, and a steak lover. It’s $500,000."
“Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!”
“Yeah, but it’s from a lawyer and never been used.”
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BONUS
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A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:
“Many say the only reason you were elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father.”
“That notion is ridiculous!” mocked George Jr. “It doesn’t matter how powerful the man is. He could only vote once!”
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: 
When was i for real?
I am myself a dream
I always see you
watching me tenderly