Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Your friend Jessica’s example doesn’t hold any weight here. Bring some real stats supporting your argument, if you have any. I do all of the things that Jessica does (except for driving an audi :P) I live with family and no one slaps me around. No sane reasonable family members would do that.
Your argument is really lame, who says women who live with families are not be financially and emotionally secure and independent? I wonder how many times Jessica and your other condo inhabiting friends were groped in public transport? Don’t say never, because no one is going to believe that.
And yes, women are forced to live alone. In the west children are expected to move out after a certain age, if they don’t its equated with ‘not growing up’.
I am a not against women living away from home for college or work. Women need to be strong , independent and able to look after themselves. It’s just that the culture shouldn’t dictate that they necessarily have to live away. However, the women(and men like you) have been brainwashed into believing that unless they live on their own they are missing something in life.
West is about self gratification, looking after yourself, providing for your own comfort, defending your own rights. There is a reason family life and society has fallen apart in the west. You can continue looking at it through rose coloured glasses if that makes you feel better but that doesn’t change the facts.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Reports are that 4 out of 5 women report abuse there and thankfully you are the 5th one, The country ranks in one of the lowest on womens rights and gender equality and let me tell you about shelters, I know of many desi women who were thankful for the shelter and the protection of law.
Groping is not a western thing, it is so uncommon that it became national news when a refugee went on a groping adventure.
Storm of reaction to news Syrian refugee charged with sex assaults …www.cbc.ca/…/edmonton/syrian-refugee-west-edmonton-mall-sexual-assault-reaction-ra…
Feb 9, 2017 - ‘The insertion of 2 words — Syrian refugee — completely changed the dimension of the story’ … Reports that a man accused of sexual assaults on six Edmonton teenage girls was a Syrianrefugee have ignited a firestorm of reaction, from anti-immigration diatribes to criticism about …
Why are you giving me data for syrians and Pakistanis? lol. No one here said Pakistan is an ideal place for women. I could tell you more stories about female oppression in Pakistan but we are not discussing Pakistan.
You made a claim saying that western world offers protection for women, I am asking you to back it up with solid arguments.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
There are stats on gender equality and abuse you are welcome to search them up. You were the one making allegations of Jessica being groped in Public transport I merely corrected you. Groping is not our national pastime..lol
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
There you go, you cannot bring up any solid stats to back up your claim. Why should I look them up? I thought you would have them on your finger tips, so did your claims come out of thin air???
How bad is street harassment in America? Pretty bad, according to a reportpublished this week by Stop Street Harassment, a Virginia-based nonprofit.
In survey findings, 65 percent of women and 25 percent of men reported experiencing street harassment, but given how normalized the experience is, Kearl notes, “the prevalence statistic might be lower than reality.”
The report reveals some other striking data points: Among those surveyed, men were overwhelmingly the harassers of both women and men, and people of color and LGBT people were a lot more likely to say they’d been harassed than white or straight people were. Now We Know How Many Women Get Groped by Men in Public | Mother Jones
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
On your graph under often harassed category. there is hardly anyone and I am thinking ghettos would fall under often categories. When we were in the engineering Uni back home young educated boys told me that they go into bazaars and run into girls and grope on a regular basis. I lived in Karachi from grade 7 till after Uni. At our junior high co-ed school at closing time there would be line o cars often with tinted glasses waiting for teenage girls to get off school and middle-aged men would entice and harass girls and follow them and offer them lifts.
At the Uni the quota system students sons of feudal lords on a regular basis would abduct girls from Gulshan and rape them you could often hear girls screaming from hostels.
I was friends with this Pathan Feudal lord from Mohmand tribe, they had a huge castle kind of house in Clifton and any beggar woman, dhoban, kaamwali etc they would pull her in and rape them.
The servant’s wife’s children looked like Faridullah and everyone would joke about it.
Our neighbor’s doctor girl in Defence society married a rich Sindhi and he threw her off the balcony, her father was a lawyer he tried to get justice and the whole family was killed.
The other side neighbors were Chinyotis and the DIL conveniently died in kitchen fire.
Students from my Engr Uni industrial tour lined up in Multan and ganged raped a blind beggar girl.
I don’t need stats. The only time I knew personally the people involved here in sexual violence here the perpetrator was a Hindu guy.
Many brown girls use shelter and police and social services here. Millions would use shelter and protection if it was available there. I hear police rape women who go there to complain about abuse.
Oh and lets not even talk about Public transports, this poor fair complexioned good looking class mate of mine used to get extra attention from the Pathan patrons.
They had wire meshes separating women from men in buses and countless fingers sticking out. Are you very sheltered or just chose to ignore reality?
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Bobby pai what kinda people you were in company with? A lot many of us had upbringing in Pak and I dont think anyone would quote the experiences you just shared here.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Go ask in the Engineering University I wouldn’t hide the name of the perpetrators also. Two of the goons who were 3 yrs senior to us, were very regular rapists Boro and Shireen Khan have been killed and in Hell right now. One of the rapists of the blind girl was S Khan Achakzai. His dad was a Minister in Balochistan. He is on FB you can look his manhoos drunkard face bro.
You haven’t heard of crowds of perverts gathered outside girls school and womens college and you have not witnessed what goes on in public transportation there?
I had heard that Ghulam Mustafa Khar used to get a college girl abducted on a daily basis, has anyone else heard that?
They had a lot of Kalashnikov’s hand grenades and weaponry at the Uni. I am not sure if things changed now
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
I guess we can choose to look an entire country with our rose colored glasses, or pick and choose what affected us personally. I guess you won’t know, until it happens to you or someone close to you. We spend so much time defending our social identity, that we forget there are issues that need to be addressed or at least acknowledged.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
we are 8 siblings and my wife has 6 and we have dozens of nephews and nieces spread throughout and so far in the last 20 years no one has been harassed or assaulted. I also volunteer with big groups and nada there, no assault reported at kids high school either and no assault reported at kids uni either. No groping or touching reported at my 20 plus years career except for the Hindu guy. I had heard of countless incidences in my previous life.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Haha!! only 5 months of the year we are in Parkas. I think women here are the dominant gender and a lot of guys are being abused. The law is seriously biased towards females. One false accusation and your life ends and nothing happens to the accuser. I would want nothing more than to see womens rights and protections offered to females. You can only solve the problem after you acknowledge it.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Back to the original topic, it is just not a desi thing, it is the whole Asian culture. Most adult children do not move out of the home until marriage, same goes for male children. I have two separate Vietnamese neighbors whose single adult male kids (in their 20s) are living with them, all of whom are working.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
In my previous comment i said that in ISLAM the woman is under her father’s protection until marriage when she is then under her husband’s. Just because ISLAM has given a woman a form of security and support in this way does not mean that a woman is oppressed. There are many Muslim women who live with their families, professional women and non professional women, and they are quite happily looked after. Obviously there are bad people who abuse their rights and disregard their responsibilities but then they will have to answer for that on judgement day. I lived with my family until i was married and alhumdulillah i had a pretty free life. I had the use of a car that i shared with my sister, i had a part time job so that meant i had my own money (although my mum and dad always gave me money whether i needed it or not) and i could go out with friends. Obviously i had restrictions such as no boyfriend, be home before 10pm and to let my parents know where i was going and with who and to always have my phone with me. But that was my parents way of keeping me safe. (The no boyfriend thing i wouldn’t have done anyway because Islamically i knew it was haram and being raised in a practising Muslim home i learnt that. However my mum always used to say if i ever found anyone that i liked to let her know.)
I was probably lucky that alhumdulillah my family was a practising Muslim family who knew their deen and were God fearing in keeping to their responsibilities. However pretty much all my friends and my extended family were all similar.
As for women in Pakistan, yes there are women being oppressed in Pakistan but then again there are women who have pretty decent and good lives too. But that can be said of any country in the East or the West. Just because the West promotes “freedom” and “equality” doesn’t mean it’s a Utopia and also doesn’t mean that any other country that is not in the west falls short.
Need to be open minded and not just view everything and everyone in black and white.
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
And this is where the west has a problem with us as our values conflict with the values of their society. Gender equality and human equality is the core principle of their society. There are women who are more accomplished than many men and it would be an insult to say to them that their husband is their protectors. The society does not leave the abusive father or husband to be judged on the judgment day, they will be judged by the district court judge, many times a female judge at that. The west created laws to protect women. I heard the religious council blocked the women protection bill back home for being unreligious. My ex-lives by herself and is not dependent on a male for anything, she shovels, mows, paints, fixes n all.
The best thing a father can give his daughter is not an allowance but the confidence, courage, skill and strength to be self-reliant and not dependent on husbands protection and the freedom to live her life on her own terms.
I saw this documentary where the old Saudi men were buying little Syrian girls, should we allow them to do that and be judged on the Akhira?
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
I don’t know what was being discussed earlier over here but I have some friends who are divorced and have a single child to raise…3 friends all v.well educated and from good families …they work and bear there expenses but live with their parents… one of them told me she has her kitchen separate and bears all the expenses herself…
Re: Do single desi women live with family until marriage?
Today I sold a house to this beautiful tall strong Canadian girl, she made the decision all on her own, no father or brother involved. She shared with me that she moved out at 17 and had an incredible life so far making her decisions herself. She makes good money, does a lot of traveling and has loads of friends. I feel that this is a much richer life compared to girls who are made to believe that they are not strong enough to live life on their own terms.
