Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

[Niksik]

Re: Do people respect working wives more than stay home moms?

I would be perfectly OK with it.
I’ll just have to go and buy some new suits

[X2]

Re: Do people respect working wives more than stay home moms?

btw , did u help him buy a new suit..

[sandhu786]

Niksik

Do whatever u feel is good, forget about others, you are giving your knowledge thru tutoring you kids and helping them doing their homework, so you are still using what you studied,

you might be knowing, 90% of south indian women are home makers, and almost all south indian wives have doctrates, post graduates or atleast graduate, my wife did her master's in mathematics was into software and working before marriage after that she quit

even Japeneese women won't work after marriage

Muslim women are allowed to work

[Niksik]

@X2

btw , did u help him buy a new suit..

shhhh, supposed to be a surprise

[UZ]

but why? lets say in a couple the woman makes more money, and as thof an issue as ey try to look at budgets and all they decide that he can stop but she cant, or the careers are at a stage or of a type that him taking time off is not as disrupting to career.

Well its not a big issue that woman makes money and husband stays at home because I saw that and after kids are big its not a problem,until some husbands make it an ego issue that their wives are earning more than them or they are not earnning at all.

live like a man? do men dont want kids or have any responsibilities? or put any effort towards kids and home and family?

Well you are nit picking I didn't mean that exactly but men do love kids but momm role is a mom role in child's life.:p

[UZ]

@Sara516

I guess some of them think that working moms are selfish (cz they like to spend time away from the home), abnormal (cz they like to spend time away from the home), materialistic (cz they work for money) etc.

who said that :aq: working moms are more appreciated as far as I know.Even though I am SAH mom but I do appreciate working moms.

[Scratch]

sorry to break it to you, but majority of women in Pakistan are stay at home mums, and either your theory does not work or many of them are pathetic mothers to raise such cheats as sons, or killers and thugs that we say..and still see killing on campuses, the ghubda gardee and all.

What a gross generalization! What is "many" here? What are the numbers on campus killings in America and in Pakistan in the last 10 years? Hello!

[UZ]

After a long time I realized this thread belongs to parenting forum:D

[Niksik]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

:D Thanks UZ

[apples_too]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

I have respect for both stay at home and working moms, but I do have a question...Why** SOME** stay at home moms complain a lot? Is it because they feel less appreciated for all the work that they do? and why some working mothers manage to get more even they are at home less?

[Niksik]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

It's all about organizing yourself. Some working moms are very well organized and can accomplish a lot more that stay home moms. I think some people are chronic complainers...never happy in any situation. Yes some stay home moms never get appreciated because what they do gets taken for granted.

[Captain_FT]

@Niksik

Dunno, but sometimes I feel that when I worked fulltime, people paid more attention to me, what I say, and respected me more…perhaps because I was bringing home some $$ and was wearing business suits and high heels and mingled with a professional crowd. I’m not talking about my husband or relatives…maybe some relatives, but mostly friends, acquaintances…that sort.

Now that I am a stay home mommy, people seem to think I spend all day sleeping or chatting with my friends on the phone or having afternoon chai paani with gossipy women around the block. Don’t talk about GS because most of you log in from work as well. I can have GS on and still do things around the house

I guess I’m getting particularly complexed after an old friend commented that “paR likh ker sab gava diya. You should have more to offer.” :hinna:

Aisa kyun bhai? I work hard. I am up with everyone else and sleep after everyone else, take care of stuff around the house, pretty much everything, take care of my kidos and all their activities, teach them, volunteer at the masjid, teach little kids there…isn’t that work?

Am I not useful, when you prick me, don’t I bleed ???

well niki sis! aesay hi hota hai jb insan ghar me dollars laa raha ho na tub hi uski qadar hoti hai dost rishtay dar uskay agay pichay phirtay hn aur jesay hi ap unki financial aid bund ker do then u become useless its a fact and it is been done mostly. its very sad indeed niki im sorry for that

[njgal]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

interesting thread. Do I dare voice my opinion. chalo churro - kissi aur din...

[Afro-Sheen]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

I think Working women who become stay at home mother's have the best perspective of both worlds, as they have had both experiences. I think there were other threads opened before with similar discussions. From my experience, it seems people praise stay at home moms more than working moms, as working moms are accused of abandonment, selfishness...etc....whereas that is SO not the case. Everyone has their reasons for what they choose to do, as long as they are able to manage their homes well, it should not be a problem for others. If it is, then tough luck, woman should be proud of decision she has made for herself. I am a working mother & Alhumdulillah I think i do a decent job of balancing everything, giving quality time to my son...cooking...etc

[poppies]

@Niksik

Dunno, but sometimes I feel that when I worked fulltime, people paid more attention to me, what I say, and respected me more…perhaps because I was bringing home some $$ and was wearing business suits and high heels and mingled with a professional crowd. I’m not talking about my husband or relatives…maybe some relatives, but mostly friends, acquaintances…that sort.

Now that I am a stay home mommy, people seem to think I spend all day sleeping or chatting with my friends on the phone or having afternoon chai paani with gossipy women around the block. Don’t talk about GS because most of you log in from work as well. I can have GS on and still do things around the house

I guess I’m getting particularly complexed after an old friend commented that “paR likh ker sab gava diya. You should have more to offer.” :hinna:

Aisa kyun bhai? I work hard. I am up with everyone else and sleep after everyone else, take care of stuff around the house, pretty much everything, take care of my kidos and all their activities, teach them, volunteer at the masjid, teach little kids there…isn’t that work?

Am I not useful, when you prick me, don’t I bleed ???

Nisik yaar I hold my hat off to you all- I see how my sisters mashallah work full time and manage a house as well as the usual package- children and husbands and in laws and famiiles and so on…even if they wernt to work theyre a round the clock person and deal with absolutely everything Allah swt throws at them- families/disputes/ in laws/ taxi service and so on…being a mum in itself mashallah I commend u guys- I think of how our mums raised entire generations mashallah without an uff or humphhh.. well done Nisik!!!- u and hundreds of Guppy mothers are a role model for all women- u guys have tremendous courage and stamina and are equipped with all the communication skills that u guys demonstrate every minute of the day.. u are more than valued and any person worth their salt will totallly agree with me…u guys also see things from all angles and that comes with the experience of having children mashallah… U r certainly ofering us all much more than u give urself credit for!!! A huge thumbs up to u guys!!!:k:

:)!!!

[Mehnaz]

oh and the other question is what do stay at home mums think of working women? (having less substance being one as we saw)

Honestly, the focus should be on how a mother spends her time with a child, be it a working mother or a stay at home mother. I've seen good and bad cases in both instances. There are working mothers who have amazing bonds with their kids cause they make that effort to spend every free time with their child, bonding with their child and building their connection. Same goes for stay at home mothers .... then there are some mothers who work and spend their weekends and evenings on the phone with their friends, neglecting their kids, and i've seen some stay at home mothers do the same thing ....

The focus should be on quality time. Quantity means nothing without quality.

[sadzzz]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

i actually feel its the opposite Nikki

most of the people (girls) i see are housewives… they may have worked prior to having kids but have stopped working after having one or two… so when im in their gathering, it feels like im a total screw up of a mum cus i leave my kid at childcare… and trust me, there have been many a times where people have subtly pointed that out…

khair we should all be content with how we are… stuff the rest.

I respect you!

[Niksik]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

I know sadzz, we have extremely judgemental people. Even if things are going well in our homes, other people seem to have more problems, eh?

[somegroovychick]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

desi mentality generally seems to preach moms should be at home with kids or maybe we're just ridiculously expressive with our opinions!

even my mom, who's been working probably since i was 7 years old- can be pretty harsh when i debate whether or not i should stay at home when i have kids.
to her, its an indication of failure and too often she'll wonder why my husband isn't "doing enough"- which i find particularly frustrating because living in north america means a double-income is pretty necessary (at least maybe in the canada portion of n. america), and of course, my husband has his own business and that means ups and downs. its doubly frustrating because my dad has always had his own business too and my parents did just fine with us despite all that. perhaps she's trying to protect me from similar stresses in my life, but i can't help but be on the defensive! anyway.

back on topic, i don't think a working mother is necessarily a "bad" mother or deserves less respect- i think she's doing the best she can given the circumstances. and of course it sucks for her too, to be leaving her 1 year old with strangers right as they become interesting and expressive- its not like its easy to walk away and miss out on your child's development.

so probably it depends on whom you're speaking to- a desi person might say if you have children and you're working, you're a bad mother, whilst a gora person might have the opposite reaction because culturally its more acceptable for gori mom's to go back to work after baby. it doesn't mean they love their children any less than the lucky ladies who can afford to stay home with them! or maybe these are just stereotypes... i dunno. i guess i'll have to come back to this when i'm in either situation.

also, niks, i'm sure you know, being a mom is a full time job and it is SO HARD. what could be more important or more difficult than shaping the mind of another human being? i have endless amounts of respect for my mother for spending as much time as she did with us, despite balancing a full-time job, 3 kids, and a house full of inlaws! we might not be perfect children, but AH we know right from wrong, we love our parents, and we eat healthy (mostly).
you should ask the naysayers to spend a day in your shoes before opening their mouths. that should shut them up! coffee mornings, my arse.

[Niksik]

Re: Do people respect working moms more than stay home moms?

SGC, awesome post. And that's what it actually is...a difference of perspective. At the end the best thing for our children is what works for us the best.