In alot of homes the environment which is provided to a child makes him too possessive about his belongings. He learns to hide his toys at the arrival of his cousins. In school he doesn’t want to share minor things of daily use, like sharpner, extra pencil…etc. with anyone who is in need.
The intentions of parents are never bad as they don’t want anyone to make fool of their child by eating their lunch, or by taking away their notes just before exams.
How do you think the child should be trained so that he doesn’t suffer from “badniyyati” of not sharing, is sincere enough to sacrifice but also smart enough to do it without ruining himself ?
Depends on the parents. Children essentially emulate the behavior of the adults around them, and if they see their parents being stingy with their possession, or discussing things in terms of "mine", children will typically grow up to follow the same pattern. If they see their parents spending on charity, volunteering, and sharing with others, then they will likely do the same.
Children need to be taught from an early age the value of giving charity, volunteering, and sharing toys with other children while playing, but they also need to be taught personal responsibility (this is your toy, take care of it, and put it away when you are finished with it, don't give it to anyone without a good reason). I have no problem with my kids putting something in particular up on a shelf when certain kids come to play, because we have learned from experience that they are destructive and break certain things. Islam does place a high value on individual ownership, and respecting others property.
We also stress the importance of personal space to our kids, not invading others privacy, and respectfully not allowing others to invade theirs. Children need to be taught balance and moderation in everything.
yes i have seen parents tell their older kids…only do whatever is good for you and you only and play the who cares approach…well in this case the mother said who care…ughhh still makes me wanna barffff
nyah my parents taught us to be giving and generous, they served as examples, sacrificing to help their siblings, friends, and other relatives...but growing up I also saw some morons abuse my parents trust and generosity, so now I am not selfish but just because someone asks for something does not mean they will get it..period.
^ Assalamoalaikum Orpheus brother. Kindly check your pm.
@ Other readers. I don't copy and paste.
@Topic.
[quote=]
Depends on the parents. Children essentially emulate the behavior of the adults around them, and if they see their parents being stingy with their possession, or discussing things in terms of "mine", children will typically grow up to follow the same pattern. If they see their parents spending on charity, volunteering, and sharing with others, then they will likely do the same.
Children need to be taught from an early age the value of giving charity, volunteering, and sharing toys with other children while playing, but they also need to be taught personal responsibility (this is your toy, take care of it, and put it away when you are finished with it, don't give it to anyone without a good reason). I have no problem with my kids putting something in particular up on a shelf when certain kids come to play, because we have learned from experience that they are destructive and break certain things. Islam does place a high value on individual ownership, and respecting others property.
We also stress the importance of personal space to our kids, not invading others privacy, and respectfully not allowing others to invade theirs. Children need to be taught balance and moderation in everything.
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good parenting is a prerequisite for a physically, cognitively, intellectually, psychologically, morally, emotionally and spiritually well developed child. every child has essential learning that comes from the quality of the parenting they receive. many personality disturbances, and affective or mood disorders such as panic, frustration, behavioral over reactivity or muted emotionality complex conditions or spectrums as they are called in psychological practice, emerge, which may have originated during early child-hood, as a result of parental neglect and over time that neglect expresses itself in the personal behaviors of a growing individual adolescent age and early adulthood. the negative impact of bad parenting, will result in bad behaviors of the child as a grown up man or woman.
everything that is a family tradition, the socio economic status, a sense of low self esteem or presence of arrogance, being dishonest, hurting others, tricking other, want of sympathy without deserving it or being really in need of it and then being uncaring of others, want of negative attention from others, laziness, making excuses, not communicating truthfully and directly, being irresponsible with others' feelings, being unable to determine oneself as an individual and make personal decisions for oneself, and being selfish
all of it can be an outcome of how worse off parents' parenting has been.
once it becomes a habit, then the individual is not even capable of feeling any shame and guilt for being selfish. because that is the only kind of brought up and interaction he/she to be real and especially so, because it is working for him/her at the time.
knowing about proper discipline and values that can teach the child to remember that Allah swt is watching over all of ours actions, is what is missed by many parents no matter what their age.
keeping in mind the difference between right and wrong, good and bad - accepting one's own mistakes, being self accountable and conscious of one's conscience are habits that are not taught by some parents and that is why, in one this respect, people grow up to be selfish to the point of being cruel and brutal. but, it is only time that will correct them. it would be great if parents did the preventive work, but unfortunately parents of some children/people themselves encourage their grown up children to be selfish because parents are selfish. it is a sad circle of misery of all people involved - old or young. the only thing which can correct this huge flaw in a given selfish child or a grow up is the realization that he/she is selfish and in order for him/her to feel peaceful and improve the relations with other people, and build their personal trustworthiness in people they deal with in a selfish manner and never be selfish to other people in life again.
…ughhh still makes me wanna barffff