I know parents always profess to love their children equally, but it is hard to believe that parents develop relationships on equal levels with all children. Some children will take after their parents, while others rebel.
So to any parents/children on the forum or people who would be familiar, do you prefer one of your children more than the other(s), even if it is by the most minute or possibly large amount. The reasons for liking that child slightly more may be to his/her manners, behavior, interests, personality etc.
If so, do you feel like you consciously (or subconsciously) treat/being treated him/her any differently? More lenient or even more strict because you/they expect more?
OR oppositely, is the idea of having a “favorite” child ridiculous and you care/being cared about all your children exactly equally?
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
ofcourse.
my mommy loves my brother more than me :(
i even heard her say it once to an auntie on the phone when i was 10. she went "aap tou jaanti hein...woh tou mera ladla hai....u know aik bacha ladla hota hai...mera beta mera ladla hai"
she kisses him good night every night (even now. yuck) .aur mujeh sirf daant perti thi. :(
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
umm well i dont think so..my mom behaves equally :) yeah my dad do this kinda a stuff.but i wont do that with my children...as bachai are sarai achaai ...kiu kai akhaair app kai hi bachai hain kaheen sai mang kai tou nahi lai nah:)
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
as kids we all feel our parents prefer our siblings to us, so doesnt really count.
i think only parents shud answer this question and answer it HONESTLY.
the age gap between my 1st sibling and me is like 20+ years, so its kinda difficult to judge the treatment we received fr our parents. recently i decided it must have been da different circumstances, different era which made them treat us siblings differently :D
plus all kids are not da same in personality, nature etc , thus parents have different way of dealing with each of us. to kids that might seem unfair on some occasions but as grown ups we realise why.
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
yes they do..
1. i think the sufferer of this is always the eldest of the siblings and he(mostly SHE) has to hear ' koi baat nahi..baray behn bhaioan ko chotoan k liay karna hota hai aisay', etc etc
2. AND YES..SONS ARE LOVED MORE THAN DAUGHTERS.. i heard my mom saying (when i was discussing this with her one day) that 'haan..betay zyada pyaray hotay hain kyunkeh betioan nay tau chalay jana hota hai..humayn sambhaalna tau betay nay hai naa baad may..iss liay ....blah blah blah (i was not interested in listening to it after this cuz i felt that being a girl is not something which i had a choice to opt or not..and if it is a social mrule that daughters have to be wedded off and leave their parents' homes,it was again not me who made this custom) SOBSOB :(
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
yeah i head my parents saying too, But i never get worried abt coz i know they love me too. It happens in most of the familes... some parents keep it secert......
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
I think they do, the rebellious the child the less likely he/she is to be a favourite, the more conforming a child to the parents desires the more favoured he/she is.
I wouldn;t go as far as saying that favouritism can be gender based though.
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
I have a son and daughter and my daughter is my weakness. This is not to say that I don't love my son. I love him very much but my daughter has that much more hold on me. One reason could be the fact that she was the first girl to be born in our immediate family after 32 years. We had loads of boys in the family and no girls till my daughter was born. She was spoiled by everyone including me. :)
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
I have a son and daughter, and while I love both of them the same, I think parents may love the behavior of one child better than the other's. My daughter is sweet, easygoing, obedient and quiet. Even at the age of 2, she always listens to me or my hubby. My son is loud, active, tiring, and bahut shararti. He never listens to us, and we frequently get frustrated with him. I can easily say that I love my daughter's behavior over my son's. That doesn't mean I love her more, but I appreciate her good things as well as his good things separately.
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
Parents love their children equally. But their relationship with their children is usually not the same. Sometimes they feel more comfortable talking or sharing to one child but not the same to the others. But it really doesn't make that child favourite.
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
I don't have a favorite child, but I definitely appreciate the behavior of my middle children more than my oldest and youngest. My oldest is quite the dictator, and is always telling his sisters what to do, and my youngest thinks that she's the queen of the house, and is loud. My middle girls are both soft-spoken, so they sometimes get lost in the crowd.
The clear favorite among relatives is our son, and he gets more presents from his daadi and daada than my girls do. But it's my girls who have their father wrapped around their fingers, while he is much harder on our son.
Re: Do parents secretly have a favorite son or daughter?
I have 3 boys, under age 5 and very close in age. I have to say that I do not love one or another more or less but the love I have for each of them is different. My eldest, the one with health and eating troubles, is always so very happy and cheerful. I love him so much for his sunshiny disposition. My middle boy is the mother hen and the family actor. I so love him for that. My littlest one is the spoiled "nunga" and sings all the jingles from every tv commercial he sees. So the love for each is different but just as voracious and strong.
The trouble starts when there is one that needs more attention than another. My eldest with the feeding troubles requires more attention and physical help than the others and although he NEEDS to get this attention, the other 2 are too young to understand. So they need more attention to make up for it. Its a really tough balancing act, one that any parent must follow even without extra troubles.
Needless to say, parenting is a really tough job, tougher than anything I'd ever have imagined. But also the best blessing that could ever be.