Re: Do most ABCDs go ‘back home’ for marriage?
This is difficult, I was speaking to an Aunty & Uncle today (UK) and we were discussing pros and cons of marrying in Pak. Aunty-ji is originally from Pak here since last 30 years, and she said I don’t want a son in law from Pak as I know EXACTLY what goes on there. (fair enough)
They were telling me how people around them have taken their ‘‘SON’S’’ to Pakistan so the girl will end up with jayzat/inheritance with her husband and it will end up with a daughter in law in the family. This is the mentality of some.
Yet most girls I know from pak when they get here they send bucket loads of money back home and their parents have the best kottiya and naukar so that’s where the inheritance ends up lol - nway that’s my little dig out the way…
But the British parents don’t want to take their daughters back because the whole hurdle and expense of the visa application, settling the boy in Britain is so difficult and causes strain on the marriage which = in divorce in most cases (not all but majority here)
Other couples that I know that had ‘love marriages’ were a few select rebelious ones, all they wanted to do was the opposite of their parents and their energy to marry that persin in ‘zid’ came back to bite them bcoz after a couple of years their mariage broke down. On the other hand I know many couples happily married who had ‘love marriages’
For me personally I think the individuals should have the choice so they know they are accountable for their own actions, and don’t try to live in a blame system.
Do what you feel best within you, ask Allah swt to guide you I.A.