Does anyone know? And do most UK born Pakistani girls who marry guys from Pakistan go and live there for a while after marriage? From GS it seems like a lot do.. Am just wondering if this is the norm..
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Normally the ABCD's who marry abroad come back with their spouse. It's pointless staying in Desi land.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Deeba: GS does not maintain any statistics of those ABCDs but many member claim that they did in past and now living very good life. I have seen many people in real life and it works in both ways.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Deeba: GS does not maintain any statistics of those ABCDs but many member claim that they did in past and now living very good life. I have seen many people in real life and it works in both ways.
Me too man, every day I see people _
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
I'm getting married in Pakistan later this year and liked the idea of living in pak for 6months or so.... but theres issues biggest my JOB....
@ CEO1 why do you say its pointless staying abroad
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Hi - My friends that got married from Pak, did go back and stay for at least 3 months, so they could then get to know their in laws, and their husbands appreciated this. So it's a win win situation but yes the difficulty is if you have a job because many employers won't allow prolonged time off. Also my friends had to get back to get the ball rolling with the whole visa application. I think the main issue was the heat, they found it difficult to put up with the heat.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Norm , have seen unhappy cases and 'ok' cases with the later more like remaining as a couple for the sake of remaining as a couple, i think , maybe it has to do with the culture..
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
I hardly know people like this :/ apart from 2...
The two girls I know moved to Islamabad one married to a diplomat and one married to someone in a high army position so they both live the lives of socialites and are perfectly happy there and safe.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
^I hardly do either but here on GS there seem to be quite a few who moved there for at least a while after marriage..
Crown and mrsshy do you think most UK born and bred Pakistani girls end up going back there to marry? What about the guys?
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Deeba: GS does not maintain any statistics of those ABCDs but many member claim that they did in past and now living very good life. I have seen many people in real life and it works in both ways.
I don't doubt that..
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Well it kind of depends on certain individuals,,,,, personally i was engaged before to someone here in the UK..... the guy was money greedy any way had proposals from here but weren't realy happy with them
Went pak for a holiday and got engaged to someone there.....
I've known a few guys who have married from abroad the girls from back there seem the worst sort lol not saying all, most the village ones try too hard when they get over here to fit in and in the process end up making others lives a missery.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
this is probably really stereotypical but do you think that there is a north south divide? as in a England north/south divide. i.e. there are many many more pakistanis in the north esp from kashmir etc and the communities allow language/culture to be present and maintained much more so marrying and living in pak is easier.
In the south I was the only asian girl in my year! and the communities here apart from some districts of london are much more sparse and settling into pak is harder......... I should NOT judge on what i see around me but every girl who has married someone from pak is now divorced - none of them lived there at all though - because the 2 did not get along.
The girls who come over from pakistan seem to settle here ok and what you are describing as what girls do crown i have seen that more in men from pak rather than the girls?
every story is different i guess!
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Heh, this is weird. Apart from the population on GS, most of the asians around me tend to be finding their own wifey/hubbies from the UK. I would assume it's because their parents give them more freedom to find someone themselves rather than jetting off to Pakistan with them :/
The few marriages I do know where the girls (and it's usually a girl) has married from Pakistan, the marriages have lasted but they have not really been happy ones.
Even my parents are quite against me and my sisters marrying someone from Pakistan, unless it's someone from the family, and even then they'd probly not prefer it cos they'd want someone who can support themselves financially/career-wise - and that tends to be the mentality of a lot of parents i know these days.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
^ This! In my own social circle, most guys and girls married partners from the US, Canada or the UK. If I had to guestimate a percentage of people who married people from Pakistan, I would say less than 25%.
Mind you, a lot of guys and more recently girls, have started to marry outside of the culture and faith, but it's because they don't want to marry someone they feel won't be compatible with their lifestyle. The faith issue - it matters to some and not to others.
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Heh, this is weird. Apart from the population on GS, most of the asians around me tend to be finding their own wifey/hubbies from the UK. I would assume it's because their parents give them more freedom to find someone themselves rather than jetting off to Pakistan with them :/
The few marriages I do know where the girls (and it's usually a girl) has married from Pakistan, the marriages have lasted but they have not really been happy ones.
Even my parents are quite against me and my sisters marrying someone from Pakistan, unless it's someone from the family, and even then they'd probly not prefer it cos they'd want someone who can support themselves financially/career-wise - and that tends to be the mentality of a lot of parents i know these days.
yes this is what i see around me too!
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
Heh, this is weird. Apart from the population on GS, most of the asians around me tend to be finding their own wifey/hubbies from the UK. I would assume it's because their parents give them more freedom to find someone themselves rather than jetting off to Pakistan with them :/
The few marriages I do know where the girls (and it's usually a girl) has married from Pakistan, the marriages have lasted but they have not really been happy ones.
Even my parents are quite against me and my sisters marrying someone from Pakistan, unless it's someone from the family, and even then they'd probly not prefer it cos they'd want someone who can support themselves financially/career-wise - and that tends to be the mentality of a lot of parents i know these days.
agreed on all points
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
this is probably really stereotypical but do you think that there is a north south divide? as in a England north/south divide. i.e. there are many many more pakistanis in the north esp from kashmir etc and the communities allow language/culture to be present and maintained much more so marrying and living in pak is easier.
In the south I was the only asian girl in my year! and the communities here apart from some districts of london are much more sparse and settling into pak is harder......... I should NOT judge on what i see around me but every girl who has married someone from pak is now divorced - none of them lived there at all though - because the 2 did not get along.
The girls who come over from pakistan seem to settle here ok and what you are describing as what girls do crown i have seen that more in men from pak rather than the girls?
every story is different i guess!
Bit in bold I think could be true..
I know what you mean, there was literally only one desi girl in my whole school apart from me.. and only a handful of muslims altogether..
I can't think of more than a couple of ppl here in London who married from Pakistan but on GS there seem to be loads.. Am thinking they are mostly from the midlands or up north?
Re: Do most ABCDs go ‘back home’ for marriage?
Well Inspiron you are correct when you say it may be easier for those form the north being surrounded by more asians…
I live in a mix culture society, i reccon it depends where in Pak you get married. Most village guys are backwards mentally not saying all, most spend the whole day lounging around because there is no work to do in the villages… the girls start preparing themslves for marriage as young as 12 
I went recently and this is what I saw. Girls are put through education so it looks in favour when a potential rishta comes from the UK…the guys don’t even bother they think them being male is enuf 
In the city both male and females are educated and go out and work for a living, more jobs are available and are able to socialise with others from outside.
Re: Do most ABCDs go ‘back home’ for marriage?
This is not weird in fact this totally makes sense. Seems like people who have freedom to find someone of course dont have time to spend on GS (they are busy searching). GS is the pit stop for people who have their parents searching for them in Pakistan so they have tonz of time to kill on GS
Re: Do most ABCDs go 'back home' for marriage?
^I hardly do either but here on GS there seem to be quite a few who moved there for at least a while after marriage..
Crown and mrsshy do you think most UK born and bred Pakistani girls end up going back there to marry? What about the guys?
This is difficult, I was speaking to an Aunty & Uncle today (UK) and we were discussing pros and cons of marrying in Pak. Aunty-ji is originally from Pak here since last 30 years, and she said I don't want a son in law from Pak as I know EXACTLY what goes on there. (fair enough)
They were telling me how people around them have taken their ''SON'S'' to Pakistan so the girl will end up with jayzat/inheritance with her husband and it will end up with a daughter in law in the family. This is the mentality of some.
Yet most girls I know from pak when they get here they send bucket loads of money back home and their parents have the best kottiya and naukar so that's where the inheritance ends up lol - nway that's my little dig out the way.....
But the British parents don't want to take their daughters back because the whole hurdle and expense of the visa application, settling the boy in Britain is so difficult and causes strain on the marriage which = in divorce in most cases (not all but majority here)
Other couples that I know that had 'love marriages' were a few select rebelious ones, all they wanted to do was the opposite of their parents and their energy to marry that persin in 'zid' came back to bite them bcoz after a couple of years their mariage broke down. On the other hand I know many couples happily married who had 'love marriages'
For me personally I think the individuals should have the choice so they know they are accountable for their own actions, and don't try to live in a blame system.
Do what you feel best within you, ask Allah swt to guide you I.A.