so my son is now 7 weeks and i am.due to go pakistan when he will be 12 weeks. my mother in law father passed away a day before my son’s birth so the in laws did not really celebrate the birth. now we were meant to go for a big aqiqa ceremony and my parents also are planning to join. my son is the first grandson from my father and father in law side(they are brothers) so his birth was highly anticipated.
i just told my husband that my parents are planning to go as well because dad want to be with the siblings for the aqiqa..my husband replied that no big function will be held due to the grandfather. i.am very upset because few weddings happened but we cant celebrate for my son. my dad will surely not take it nicely if he goes and find out the function will not be held. i dont want to be emotionless but 40 days has passed since the death. and its my.mother in law grandson. she should celebrate it just like her sister did her daughter wedding 4 week post the death
what should i do? let go? if i force them, then surely the ambiance will be killed but on other hand i find it unfair. i had prepared the invites even.
Honestly these functions for kids are for parents only since kids will not remember and not care. If one parent is on board and the other isn't then it's only fun for you and not the other parent. No. 1 thing that will happen as a parent is that birthdays will be postponed, pushed aside. My cousin has been waiting for months to find a good time to celebrate her kid's first birthday. My aqiqa happened on my 1st birthday because of family deaths. So things will get delayed because they're not as life changing like a wedding. I do think you should discuss with your husband the possibility of doing a small dawat and postponing to a big event on a later date. First dawat with new baby will mean all attention will be on the baby anyway.
I would just leave it, don't make an issue of it, I can understand that you r upset esp since u had prepared things.
Anyway everyone will come and see your baby anyway and will get lots of attention from everyone, the idea of having such a big party to me would be a too stressful with such a young baby. And it's for the adults, it's not as if the baby will remember it.
If you still really want it, try once more to discuss it with your husband, but don't push it, you can't really compare it to the wedding as I'm sure that it was arranged well in advance and date was set and everything was booked.
And make sure you don't bring it up with MIL if your husband refuses as you don't want your trip to be full of tension.
Sacrifice should be done within 7 days as said above so it won't b an aqeeqa anyway. You can have a party anytime. It won't be an aqeeqa. Not worth being bitter about IMO. Let it go.
^ There's no ruling that says it can only be done after 7 or 21 days. It depends on whenever is possible/easy for the parents. Most parents, if they can't do it on the 7th day, wait until one year.
Samurah bin Jundub (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
*“Every child is mortgaged by its aqeeqah. It should be slaughtered for him or her on its seventh day, the child’s hair should be shaved, and he or she should be named.” *
A party is just a party for the parents sake. I don't even know when it became a part of the Muslim Aqeeqa tradition. Aqeeqa is shaving of heads and giving sacrifice. You can have a party any time you want but it won't be an Aqeeqa
there is no requirement that 'aqeeqah be done within 7 days of the birth of the child. it should be done ASAP. some delay due to various reasons until someone gets married in the family. the slaughtered goat meat is then used for the shaadi. a party can be thrown at the time of 'aqeeqah but also remember the poor. give some meat to the poor as well.
btw, one goat for the girl and two goats for the boy should be slaughtered.
Samurah bin Jundub (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
*“Every child is mortgaged by its aqeeqah. It should be slaughtered for him or her on its seventh day, the child’s hair should be shaved, and he or she should be named.” *
A party is just a party for the parents sake. I don't even know when it became a part of the Muslim Aqeeqa tradition. Aqeeqa is shaving of heads and giving sacrifice. You can have a party any time you want but it won't be an Aqeeqa
That's the best thing someone could do... however if someone delays it, it's still an aqeeqa. It doesn't become non-valid after a certain amount of days.
