So my wedding is fast approaching and I’ve learnt recently that my fiance’s sister is planning on inviting someone to the Walima who I’ve specifically told her that I don’t want there. I asked her a while back which friends she’s inviting and she mentioned a few names which I had no problem with. Now my fiance is saying that she wants to invite this girl (who everyone knows I dislike). I’m super furious about the fact that she isn’t taking my feelings into consideration and going ahead and inviting this girl. She’s known her for some months and apparently they became close really fast but that doesn’t mean you invite her to your brother’s wedding when you barely know her. I know wedding planning is a stressful period for both sides but do I even get a say? I understand that the Walima is from the groom’s side but surely I get a say if I don’t want someone there considering it’s still my wedding and I am the bride.
How do I approach this? I don’t want to start an argument but I feel like I need to say something. I know for sure that if I was in her shoes, I wouldn’t invite someone that I know she disliked. It seems like something minor and I know someone’s probably going to say that it’s my wedding and I should enjoy myself, but this is playing on my mind.
Tell your sil to be that you dont feel comfortable around that girl and since its your big day, you dont want to see the faces of the people you dont like. If SIL understands, fine. Else just ignore that girl. Dont stress over this, not worth it.
You won't even notice she's there. Its your walimah, and people are going to come for you. Feel happy, think about your handsome hubby and stuff you'd do to eachother after walimah. Forget everything else. Shaadi mubarak.
Choose your battles wisely. Will this person's presence completely destroy your entire walima? Honestly it could if you choose to or you could ignore the person and be happy about the gazillion other people you do like. Yes, it's something you should remember for future reference because your sil has proven to be unreliable but if you've made your point once and have been ignored you can't force an adult to do what you want.
She isnt YOUR friend...but she IS your sil's new bestest friend.
Just cuz you dont like someone, doesnt mean others have to aswell.
Now unless this chick is your fiance's ex gf , i would say.. stay outta it.
Where exactly did I say that others can't like her because I don't? She's free to do whatever she wants with my fiance's sister when I'm not there. That's not my problem. However it becomes my problem when she's attending MY wedding when she's unwanted. So no, I won't stay outta it.
No. Its the guy's side that decides cuz it is their function.
The most you can do is politely ask your sil for reasoning behind her decision.. and say u arent comfy ... but thats about it. If sil says too bad... im still inviting.. and if you make a stink over this...
It will be very silly... this is SO not worth tye fight
Why do you not like this girl? Explain.. so we can better guide u?
Choose your battles wisely. Will this person's presence completely destroy your entire walima? Honestly it could if you choose to or you could ignore the person and be happy about the gazillion other people you do like. Yes, it's something you should remember for future reference because your sil has proven to be unreliable but if you've made your point once and have been ignored you can't force an adult to do what you want.
I get what you're saying but you don't understand how much I dislike this girl. The hatred I have for her is indescribable and everyone is well aware of that. Why then would you go ahead and invite her anyway? Yes she's unreliable but at the end of the day, it is my wedding and if I don't want her there then she needs to understand that. She's not exactly an adult so I don't know how to approach her without us arguing.
No. Its the guy's side that decides cuz it is their function.
The most you can do is politely ask your sil for reasoning behind her decision.. and say u arent comfy ... but thats about it. If sil says too bad... im still inviting.. and if you make a stink over this...
It will be very silly... this is SO not worth tye fight
Why do you not like this girl? Explain.. so we can better guide u?
I've compromised on SO MUCH for this wedding. This is one thing I will not compromise on whatsoever. Call me stubborn but I feel like I have every right to say I don't want a certain person at my wedding regardless of whos function it is.
It's a veryyy long story, I can't explain here. Her reasoning will be that this is her new best friend and she wants her there because they're close etc etc. She goes through best friends faster than I go through socks, so I can guarantee that her invite list would have changed according to who is her current best friend at the time. My only problem is that she's being completely inconsiderate and insensitive by inviting her when I specifically sat her down and asked her not to invite this girl. It's not a huge request - JUST DON'T INVITE HER.
I've compromised on SO MUCH for this wedding. This is one thing I will not compromise on whatsoever. Call me stubborn but I feel like I have every right to say I don't want a certain person at my wedding regardless of whos function it is.
It's a veryyy long story, I can't explain here. Her reasoning will be that this is her new best friend and she wants her there because they're close etc etc. She goes through best friends faster than I go through socks, so I can guarantee that her invite list would have changed according to who is her current best friend at the time. My only problem is that she's being completely inconsiderate and insensitive by inviting her when I specifically sat her down and asked her not to invite this girl. It's not a huge request - JUST DON'T INVITE HER.
It's fine if you want to bring this up with your sil. Just remember there are people who will enjoy your misery and will have fun at your walima when you won't so while you make your point don't get obsessed that it becomes the worst day of your life. Confront, argue whatever but don't ruin your own day by giving this person more importance than they deserve.
I totally get what you are feeling. But I don't knwo really how can you approach this issue, since ur sil seems immature. I had a similar feeling about a person who was being invited at my BILs wedding and I told them, I will not be attending if that person is there, in the end they didn't invite him.
She's not exactly an adult so I don't know how to approach her without us arguing.
I've compromised on SO MUCH for this wedding. This is one thing I will not compromise on whatsoever. Call me stubborn but I feel like I have every right to say I don't want a certain person at my wedding regardless of whos function it is.
Since your SIL is not an adult and you are ok with causing tension with your husband's family over this issue.....then your ONLY option is to have a discussion with your FIL/MIL. I imagine your SIL (who is not an adult) will not be able to invite her friend if your MIL/FIL tell her not to. So forget your husband or the SIL......your FIL/MIL are the ones paying for this function and have the final say so go talk to them. And if you're not willing to talk directly to the people who are in charge of this function, then let it go.
Um...as a 3rd party...reading through this thread...don't know anything about you or your family...I'd say you're having a bad bridezilla moment.
We all go through them so its okay but its good to keep things in perspective always.
The wedding is the one that was paid for by your side...this is not your wedding...this is the Walimah and since you didn't pay for it...you shouldn't force your opinions on their guest list. They get to invite whoever they want because its their function.
If I were you...I'd be okay with her coming...and just ignore the heck out of her.
Frankly speaking, the walima is a function arranged by guy side and regardless the guy himself pays for it or his parents, his siblings have all the liberty to invite whomever they want to the function. Usually the list of guests is not shared between the two parties so none really knows who and who the other side is inviting.
In your case you have already asked your SIL not to invite that girl and i think this was sufficient. If she still wants to invite her, don't make an issue out of it because this could cause tension between you and your SIL. if you keep on insisting on this or talk to your parents in law about this petty issue, chances are you will be viewed as too bossy who wants things just her way.