This is to both guys and girls…but I’m specifically interested in the guys responses. Assume that the hypothetical people here are wonderful, loving, caring…basically has almost all the characteristics you’d want in a husband/wife.
Would you have any problem marrying someone who was already divorced with OR without kids?
Would your parents have any problem with you marrying a divorced person?
IF your parents don’t want you marrying someone who is divorced, would you go against their wishes and marry that person anyway?
AS regards to the questions posed..well i’d say my decision would be based on what circumstances (both domestic and economic, specially when kids are involved as well) i am faced with at the time of decision. No clearcut black and white answer.
"Our Lord! forgive us our sins and anything we may have done that transgressed our duty; establish our feet firmly and help us against those that resist faith." **Quran(3:147)
No- it does to a certain degree depend on the kid. If you want to truely treat them as a family you have to look at the kid as your own. Some people can not just handle that. In such a situation I would be
assessing not just the girl but also her child and how I can fit into thier life and vice versa.
No - unless there were issues that lead to the divorce that they think would be a cause for concern. They would probably have some issue if the person was divorced and had a resonably grown kid. or was from a totally different culture before converting to islam.
I would prefer not to. My view of marriage is such that it combines not only the two people invloved but also the two families. Knowing how much my parents have cared for me in the past I would find it extremely difficult to just abandon them of sorts. However it is a matter of balance and so it depends on if they are been totally unrealistic or I am been totally uncompromising.
I think each situation requires balance. its fairly easy to say yes/ no to these questions but if there is one thing I have learnt in life it is: its never as clear as black and white! you have to have balance. there’s nothing like absolutes, its all about relativity as Einstien would put it
I will not mind marrying someone who is already divorced. The very good reason if we look at our beloved Prophet Muhammed (PBUH)life he married to mostly divorced or women who were older than him. The only woman who was not divorce was Hazrat Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased With Her).
Secondly, If my parents would have problem with her I will try to convince them as much as I can. Our culture can sometime be so bias. I am as a man telling you this I disagree to the fact that guys can do whatever they want to and get away with it and girls oh she can't or she shouldn't do that. This is wrong. Islam teaches us equality in every aspect of our lives.
Thirdly, If my parents do not agree to my choice I will go against them. Only to follow our Prophet (PBUH) foot steps. After all I have to spend my life with her not my parents.
In fact I have a friend who is going through the same situation right now, but I always advise him to go on with it. Soon or later sometime in the future down the road your parents will come along as well. Not to worry ask Allah to give you strenght.
Lastly, I would advise you to ask Allah to forgive you for your sins. We should always ask Him the All Mighty to forgive our sins. Then pray namaz it gives you peaceful mind. Remember Allah remember those who remember Him. Allah loves us more than anyone else in this world. So ask him to show you the right path.(Amin)