I was just generally wondering after the divorce did your parents help with living costs for you or you and your child? Did you feel strange getting parents’ help especially as adults. In the western world there is always that distancing from parents after graduating from college and getting help or staying with family is always looked down on.
Re: Divorced people on GS
No. We were ONE family. share problems and shared resources…
Re: Divorced people on GS
How about you move back in with parents, if the place is big enough and they r willing?
It makes things a lot easier for managing the kids.
(just a suggestion, please don’t mind)
Re: Divorced people on GS
For which question was the “No”?
Was this directed at me or Bigdanawab? Are you divorced with a child?
Re: Divorced people on GS
When I first left my husband, my kids and I lived with my parents. A few months later I got a place of my own and was fully resposible for them. I have had no financial or emotional support from my family or my ex’s family. I guess I was able to do this is becuase I live in the western world and have a job (as my uncles in Pakistan like to point out)
Re: Divorced people on GS
But what if you were one of the stay at home moms or home makers that so many desi women are before separating or divorcing? I mean almost all my desi friends are stay at home moms with two or three kids, imagine them separating out from an abusive or painful marriage. With us desi people, status is everything and most likely living in an apartment would be the reality even with alimony and child support until years later when a small house can be bought.
Desi women give up their careers to take care of the children because daycare centers are a last option.
Re: Divorced people on GS
If you were a stay at home mom it would be so much harder (almost impossible) which is why many women stay in a bad marriage. They would need financial help, either from family or government assistance. Some women go back to work, usually low paying menial jobs so would still need help. I know of some women leaving after the kids were grown so the kids were the ones to support them. As for desi status, you are marked for life and looked down upon. But that should be the least of your worries. That’s where emotional strength and support from family and friends comes in. Leaving an abusive/bad mariage is never easy and no woman does this for fun. It is for her own sanity and to protect the children. May Allah bless and look after any woman in this situation.