I went to a party today where an auntie was lamenting how her dil ran off three yrs ago taking the kids with her. She then turns to her friend and asks her if she knows of any good rishtaas for her son (Son is around 40). The girl should be 30 and can be divorced but no kids of her own because her son already has 3. Um, what the heck?
This is the third time in the last two days where I’ve heard of this type of scenario.
Re: Divorced Double Standard
The way these aunties conduct their rishta hunts, I'm surprised that the population of Pakistan is out of control and people are having so much sex.
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And oh my lord, why does she have to be 30? Her son is frikkin 40????
Do these women not know that we 30 year olds are not seeking 40 year olds. God, our situation is not that desperate. Especially a 40 year old who had 3 kids and couldn't hold his family together. Right, that's a keeper.
Re: Divorced Double Standard
Please don't call her an auntie, she deserves to be called psychotic dash dash dash. Sorry I am just mad at MIL and my situation, and I completely understand your frustration.
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The kids are not even living with the dad and the mother says the wife should have no kids. I am sure if she can find a someone in her twenties for her son she will be all for it. This mentality is beyond me.
Logically, if the dude is paying child support, regardless of being married or not, he has financial commitments.
As far as looking for someone at 30 may also be factoring that the dude and his new wife are able to have a kid together. Her not having kids from previous marriage may be a look towards financial ability to have a child.
They are free to share their requirements and people are free to ignore them. Why get so worked up?
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Will she allow the girl to have kids afterwards or the girl is to remain forever childless?
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why don't women make their lot better...why don't they stand on their own two feet then they can demand whatever they want and men will listen to them.
having said that, i'm dead against the double standards that our male-dominated society has. it's shameful indeed.
Re: Divorced Double Standard
If they dont want the girl to have a baby because of financial reasons then why go after someone in the prime of her child bearing years and subject her to a child-less life? After all, in Islam, if a woman wants to have a child, you shouldn't say no.
They could easily go after a 40 year old woman, who is less likely to have a child anyway.
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In addition to what X2 wrote.....one other POSSIBILITY is that they want a woman who isn't in touch with her ex-husband. If she has a child w/ the ex-hubby...then odds are her she keeps in touch w/ him/communicates with him. However, if there is no child.....then the woman never has to see/hear from/speak with the ex. IF this guy is dealing w/ drama w/ his ex wife b/c of the kids.....he can't really be blamed if he doesn't want to double that drama by marrying a woman who also has to deal with her ex-husband.
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exactly, people have their reasons, they may be pragmatic and practical reasons based on their needs and situations. We can choose to assume the worst, the best or let it be.
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If they dont want the girl to have a baby because of financial reasons then why go after someone in the prime of her child bearing years and subject her to a child-less life? After all, in Islam, if a woman wants to have a child, you shouldn't say no.
They could easily go after a 40 year old woman, who is less likely to have a child anyway.
They aren't kidanpping her......its a free decision.
Re: Divorced Double Standard
I think people need to learn to isolate situations from their personal situation.
Re: Divorced Double Standard
I went to a party today where an auntie was lamenting how her dil ran off three yrs ago taking the kids with her. She then turns to her friend and asks her if she knows of any good rishtaas for her son (Son is around 40). The girl should be 30 and can be divorced but no kids of her own because her son already has 3. Um, what the heck?
This is the third time in the last two days where I've heard of this type of scenario.
So where exactly do you see a double standard here? If you think her demands are unreasonable, then fine, but how is this a double standard?
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I think people need to learn to isolate situations from their personal situation.
phir to life1 band ho jayega...
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Reasons for wanting a woman who is 30 with no kids:
At 30, she may want to have kids of her own and he already has 3...in order for him to be able to provide financially for everyone he has to think about that as well. Its going to fall on his shoulders so why not be smart about it so no one suffers?
At 30, she might also be mature enough to understand his commitments and work with him.
His financial commitments are not small - 3 kids is a big deal and raising them not just until they're 18 years old - but until they're stable. His remarrying will not make them disappear - he is very much responsible for them.
Her demands may not sound pretty - but they're realistic and those of someone who's been burned once.
Re: Divorced Double Standard
okkk
hmm okkk 
hmm … hmmm okkkk
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I think I forgot to write the part where he refuses to get remarried again.