Divorce children...help

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Divorce children...help

I think you are missing the point...

the father left him and hasnt been in contact with him nor has he shown any concern for him. if he really wanted to be a part of his sons life he would have done something about it by now.

The cult films thread :k:
22

Re: Divorce children...help

Exactly how is she taking away something that apparently doesnt seem to be there in the first place?

23

Re: Divorce children...help

When relationships break down women can be quite difficult to deal with. If the guys doesn't want to have any further communications with his son then that is one thing...but perhaps he is pained by speaking to his son and wants to try to emotionally detach himself from the situation or perhaps he is brushing his ex and his son with the same brush. Perhaps his ex. is being awkward and using the child as a weapon. There are two sides to the coin.

All I am saying is that the ex. wife should act in a reasonable manner and let him know that she is happy for him to stay in touch with his son, and if he doesn't want to do that then thats his problem. Maybe after the initial pain he will come around wanting to speak to his son again.

Children are the real victims of break-ups and I think both parties should try to do everything to keep the disruption in the lives of children to a minimum. You can finish your relations with your wife or husband but your children will always be your children.

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Re: Divorce children...help

Arshad5 i agree with ur comment abt children r the real victims of break ups. Its true.
And i agree with Mamaof3's 1st post.

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Re: Divorce children...help

Arshad5 i agree with ur comment abt children r the real victims of break ups. Its true.
And i agree with Mamaof3's 1st post.

26

Re: Divorce children...help

It is alright sister. JazakAllah khair for the kind words.

@ Topic.

Arshad5's perspective is logical. I think I was emphasizing too much on one side of the story considering the fact that the father didn't use any source of communication for 8 months. I agree, when arshad5 brother said that there might be a possiblity that he is trying to brush his ex and the son with the same brush.

But there might be a number of possibilities. May be he is married in the foreign country and expecting another child from his second wife.....etc. I wish that it is NEVER true, but it might be better NOT to brush aside any possibility.

I think it would be better that the sister should get everything cleared (as soon as possible) from the father's side by calling her and (as you said) telling him that she doesn't have any problems if he wants to meet the child on regular basis.

BUT if he doesn't want to talk or discuss this matter and as I said earlier, if he doesn't show up in next 2 years, than he should better forget the child. NO father has a right to give the punishment of his differences with his wife to his SON. DOESN'T he has ANY idea HOW intense torture his child might be going through. IF he were sensable enough, I am sure he might have thought of or came up with "ANY" way of communicating with the child. There is absolutely NO justification for punishing one's child for something he hasn't done. I am sure any "Sane" father knows that his absence can make his son's life hell and there can not be any excuse for doing so, unless it is beyond his control.

Having said that, the best way is to know his problems in his own words for a better understanding of his side of the story. May be he does have a reasonable problem in meeting the child, which needs to be asked as soon as possible so that a solution of the problem can be achieved and he might not ignorantly torture his own son

27

Re: Divorce children...help

Abuse is learned whether it’s physical or mental, you should be lucky that your son is not learning anything like that but he is now learning about you since you are father and mother both, you have to set an good example for him show him that you are independent and working hard for him anything that you are doing is for him. And let him learn on his own what he can get from his father if he is not talking to him then let him emotionally deal with this we are mostly wrong about kids that they aren’t strong enough to deal with the any problem. It’s the other way around these kinds of emotional rollercoaster make kids very strong. My daughter was about the same age and been through same thing and now it’s been like 3yrs things are getting back to normal now. Allah miyan app ki madad Karay it’s not easy now but it will get easier soon trust me

28

Re: Divorce children...help

Cyme,
Because I haven't posted 25 msgs yet they won't let me reply to your private message. Can you please pm me your email and then I will reply to your message?

Thanks.