I have two questions related to divorce and sex. (just thought i’ll ask these two separate questions in one thread).
**1) Is this true that a man cannot divorce his wife if she is pregnant? He should wait till the delivery and then should divorce her?. If this is true then what are the reasons behind it? Is it so that may be during this time everything can be settled btw them.
If a man does that is there any punishment for him? Does islam strictly prohibits a man from divorcing his wife while she is pregnant or have they just been advised?**
2) During the month of ramzaan are husband and wife allowed to have sexual intercourse? I heard they are not allowed. What are reasons behind it? They cant have sex during the period of roza for that particular day or for the whole month? Plus is it just limited to sexual intercourse or having intimate moments is also forbidden.
would be grateful if any quranic references can be provided.
Question 1 - Not sure..
**
Question 2** - Yes, a husband and wife can have sex during Ramadan (it would be a long time to go without having their needs met) but not during the hours they’re fasting:
**'It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
Whilst we were sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a man came to him and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I am doomed!” He said, “What happened?” He said, “I had intercourse with my wife when I was fasting [in Ramadaan].” ** **
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Are you able to free a slave?” He said, “No.” He said, “Are you able to fast for two consecutive months?” He said, “No.” He said, “Can you feed sixty poor persons?” He said, “No.” Then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent for a while, and whilst we were like that, a large vessel of dates was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he said, “Where is the one who was asking?” ** **
He said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take these and give them in charity.” The man said, “Is there anyone more poor than me, O Messenger of Allaah? For there is no household between the two harrahs (lava fields – i.e., in Madeenah) that is poorer than my household.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) smiled until his eyeteeth could be seen, then he said, “Feed it to your family.”'** **
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1834, 1835; Muslim, 1111) **
[QUOTE]
65:5)And if you are in doubt as to *such of your women as despair of monthly courses, then *know that *the prescribed period for them is three months, and *the same is for *such as have not had their monthly courses *yet. And *as for those *who are with child, their period shall be until they are delivered of their burden. And whoso fears Allah, He will provide facilities for him in his affair
65:7) Lodge them during the prescribed period *in the houses wherein you dwell, according to *the best of *your means; and harass them not that you may create hardships for them. And if they be with child, spend on them until they are delivered of their burden. And if they give suck *to the child *for you, give them their recompense, and consult with one another in kindness; but if you meet with difficulty from each other, then another *woman shall suckle *the child *for him (the father)
[/QUOTE]
So I think it is possible to divorce a pregnant wife but the 'iddat' period for it is spans till the time of the birth of the baby.
Q2)
[QUOTE]
2:188)
It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. Allah knows that you have been acting unjustly to yourselves, wherefore He has turned to you with mercy and afforded you relief. So you may now go in unto them and seek what Allah has ordained for you; and eat and drink until the white thread becomes distinct to you from the black thread of the dawn. Then complete the fast till nightfall and do not go in unto them while you remain in the mosques for devotion. These are the limits fixed by Allah, so approach them not. Thus does Allah make His commandments clear to men that they may become secure against evil.
[RIGHT] [/RIGHT]
[/QUOTE]
It is lawful for the husband and wife to have intercourse during ramadhan at nights i.e., after iftar. and it is not allowed during fasting and 'aeitqaf'
no no that wasnot my question. ofcourse the divorce will take place if he had said tallaq three times doesnot matter if she is preg or not. but i read somewhere that if the wife is pregnant then the person cannot divorce her till she gives birth. he should wait for the delivery and then should divorce her.
As you said you need the answer with references. Please read below:
Allah SWT said in Surah At-Talaq Verses 4: “And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women - if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth. And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease.”
For normal women, the ‘iddat’ is the three monthly courses after sepration: if ther eare no courses or if the courses are in doubt, it is three calendar months. By that time it will be clear whether there is preganancy: if there is, thw waiting period is still after delivery.
Surah At-Talaq Verses 6: “Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them. And if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. And if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way; but if you are in discord, then there may breastfeed for the father another woman.”
A selfish man, because he has divorced his wife, may, in the probationary period before the divorce becomes absolute, treat her with contumely, and while giving her residence and maintenance may so restrict it as to make her life miserable. This is forbidden. She must be provided on the same scale as he is, according to his status in life. There is still hope of reconciliation, and if not, yet the parting must be honourable.
If there is pregnancy, a sacred third life comes on the scene, for which there is added responsibility (perhaps added hope of reconciliation) for both parents. In any case no separation is possible until affter the child is born. Even after birth, if no reconciliation between parents is possible, yet for the nursing of the child and for its welfare the care of the mother remains the duty of the father, and there must be mutual counsel betwen him and the mother in all truth and sincereity.
“If you find yourselve in difficulties” e.g., if the mother’s milk fails, or if her health fails, tor if any circumstance arises which brs the natural course of the mother nursing her own child. There may be psychological difficulties also.
That is, the father must stand all expenses, without cutting down the reasonable allowance to which the mother is entitled in the circumstances.
Allah SWT said In Surah Al Baqarah 228: “Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.”
Islam tries to maintain the married status as far as possible, especially where children are concerned, but it is against the restriction of the liberty of men and women in such vitally important matters as love and family life. It will check hasty action as far as possible and leave the door to ‘reconciliation’ open at many stages. Even after divorce a suggestion of reconciliation is made subject to certain precaustions against thoughtless action. A period of waiting (iddat) for three monthly courses is prescribed, in order to se if the marriage conditionally dissolved is likely to result in issue. But this is not necessary where the divorced woman is a virgin.
The difference in economic position between the sexes makes the man’s rights and liabilities a little greater than the woman’s. **Surah Al Nisa verses 34 **refers to the duty of the man to maintain the woman, and to a certain difference in nature between the sexes. Subject to this, the sexes are on terms of equality in law, and in certain matters the weaker sex is entitile to special protection.
Surah Al Baqarah 229: “Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah . But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allah , then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allah , so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah - it is those who are the wrongdoers.”
Where divorce for mutual incompatibility is allowed, there is danger that the parties might act hastily, then repent, and again wish to separate. To prevent such capricious action repeatedly, a limit is prescribed. Two divorces (with a reconciliation between) are allowed. After that the parties must definitely make up their minds, either to dissolve their union permanently, or to live honourable lives together in mutual love and forbearance to “hold to gether on equitable terms,” neither party worrying the other not grumbling nor evading the duties and responsibilities of marriage.
If the separation is inveitable, the parties should not throw mud at each others, but recognise what is right and honourable on a consideration of all the circumstances. In any case a man is not allowed to ask bck for any gifts or property he may hae given to the wife. This is for the protection of the economicall weaker sex. Lest that protective provision itself works against the woman’s freedom, an exception is made in the next clause.
All the prohibitions and limits prescribed here are in the interests of good and honourable lives for both sides and in the interests of a clean and honourable social life, without public or private scandals. If there is any fear that is safeguarding her economic rights, her very freedom of person may suffer, the husband refusing the dissolution of marriage, and perhaps treating her with cruelty, then in such exceptional cases it is permissible to give some material consideratin to the husband, but the ned and equity of this hould be submitted to the judgement of impartial judges, i.e., properly constituted courts. A divorce of this kind is called Khul’a.
Surah Al Baqarah 230: “And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah . These are the limits of Allah , which He makes clear to a people who know.”
This is in continuation of the first sentence of verses No. 229. Two divorces followed by reunion are permissible; the third time the divorce becomes irrevocable until the woman marrries some other man and he divorce her. This is to set an almost impossible condition. The lesson is; If a man loves a woman, he should not allow a sudden gust of temper or anger to induce him to take hasty action, What happens after two divorces, if the man takes her back? see next verses No. 231.
Surah Al Baqarah 231: “And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allah in jest. And remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things.”
If the man takes back his wife after two divorces, he must do so only on equitable terms, i.e., he must not put pressure on the woman t prejudice her rights in any way, and they must live clean and honourable lives, respecting each other’s personalities. There are here two conditions clauses **(1) **when ye divorce women, and (2) when they fulfil their ‘Iddat’: followed by two consequential clauses; **(3) **taken them back on equitable terms, or **(4) **set them free with kindness. The first is connected with the third, and the second with the fourth. Therefore if the husband wishes to resume the marital relations he need not wait for 'Iddat. But if the does not so wish, she is free to marry someone else after 'Iddat.
Let no one think that the liberty given to him can be used for his own selfish ends. If he uses the law for the injury of the weaker party, his own moral and spiritual nautre suffers.
These difficult questions of sex relations are often treated as a joke. But they profoundly affect our individual lives, the lives of our children and purity and well-being of the society in which we live. The aspect of the question is reiterated again and again.
Surah Al Baqarah 232: “And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis. That is instructed to whoever of you believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is better for you and purer, and Allah knows and you know not.”
The termination of a marriage bond is a most serious matter for family and social life. And every lawful device is approved which can equitably bring back those who have lived together, provided only there is mutual love and they can live on honourable terms with each others. If these provided conditions are fulfilled it in not right for outsiders to prevent or hinder reunion. They may be swayed by property of other considerations. The verses was occasioned by an actual case that was referred t the holy Apostle in his lifetime.
Surah Al Baqarah 233: “Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]. Upon the father is the mothers’ provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable. No person is charged with more than his capacity. No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child. And upon the [father’s] heir is [a duty] like that [of the father]. And if they both desire weaning through mutual consent from both of them and consultation, there is no blame upon either of them. And if you wish to have your children nursed by a substitute, there is no blame upon you as long as you give payment according to what is acceptable. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Seeing of what you do.”
As this comes in the midst of the regulations on divorce, it applies primarily to cases of divorce, where some definite rule is necessary, as the father and mother would not, on account of the divorce, probably be on good terms, and the interests of the children must be safeguarded. As, however, the wording is perfectly general, it has been held that the principle applies equally to the father and mother in wedlock: each must fulfil his or her part in the fostering of the child. On the other hand, it is provided that the child shall not be used as an excuse for driving a hard bargain on either side. By mutual consent they can agree to some course hat is reasonable and equitable, both as regards the period before weaning (the maximum being two years) and the engagement of a wet-nurse, or (by analogy) for artificial feeding. But the mother’s privileges must not be curtailed simply because by mutual consent she does not nurse the baby, In a matter of this kind the ultimate appeal must be godliness, for all legal remedies are imperfect and may be misused.
2) During the month of ramzaan are husband and wife allowed to have sexual intercourse? I heard they are not allowed. What are reasons behind it? They cant have sex during the period of roza for that particular day or for the whole month? Plus is it just limited to sexual intercourse or having intimate moments is also forbidden.
Thankyou very much Lethal for such a detailed answer. It has answered my first question that yes men arenot allowed to divorce their wives if they are pregnant. They should wait till they give the birth.
Yes you can divorce the wife when she is pregnant. The iddat period is just to find out if she's pregnant for if she is, then the man must provide financial support.
Yes the couple can have sex in the month of ramadan but not during the time of fasting. Same ghusl conditions apply.
I think my first question "whether man can divorce her wife while she is pregnant?" is being looked at in a different way. I'll explain how this question arised in my mind and it may help you guys understand better as to what exactly is my question.
"i was watching a pakistani drama in which the dude says to his mom "i am going to give her (my wife) tallaq". To which the mom scolds him for thinking about this step and replies "you should know that you cannot give her tallaq while she is pregnant"------> I have found my answer as provided by lethal.
blessed have you seen Dil Hai Chota Sa? It was about the halala concept and it was totally messed up. So please don't go on what you see in dramas. Anyway, our society in general has many misconceptions about religious basics. Only when we get into the details do we realize how we've been following age old rituals that are in fact traditions and not correct religious guidelines.
^ no i havenot seen dil hai chota sa. but i still have a feeling that they didnot made that statement up "man cannot divorce while wife is pregnant"...thats why i wanted an explanation before i could believe it totally. same thing happened when they showed "girl saying tallaq to her husband" i was totally surprised to see that and was like why are they showing the wrong stuff? in islam woman cannot say tallaq to her hubby...but later on i realised it is true (when i had some discussions here)
in his lifetime.
will answer soon. 