This is a problem of a friend i know who seems to be upset every now and then and she told me her problem. I want you all to suggest some things i can advise her:
My friend, lets name her Tina, has a very close male married friend. Lets name him Hassan. They have been friends for about 2 years. They got along really well the moment they met and till now they have been best friends even after his marriage. His wife knows about it so there are no issues about this but Tina's family knows that she has a male friend. They dont know that they are so close that they discuss every personal thing related to their past life, their work place, their routine, their family life (of course not of his married life but general parents, siblings,cousins etc.) and just every other thing. At first when they became friends, people always linked them with each other but they never liked each other that way, Plus Hassan had a relation with another girl who he later got married to and now has a child as well. Liking or love or any sort of such thing has never entered their relation but when link ups were created by other people Tina got really upset and started taking steps back to avoid any issues but Hassan was so close to her that he always got extremely upset about the matter, they always fought over it and things got normal. Now after 2 years of their friendship, although they are very close but Tina always feels she needs some space by herself, for her family, for her life. They both work and have to officially be logged in the entire day due to work demands so they also always had communication over the internet and via the phone. Both of them always know where the other one is like we are with our family members we always know where they are what they are doing.
The problem is that after 2 years of friendship, Tina always thinks that she is very close to him which can be a lot of problem for her later married life and her present family life. No husband likes it if his wife is close to some other person and likewise parents are normally okay with being friends but they her parents are unaware that they have permanent contact and are always updated. Although, they are just purely friends, which i know as well because i know them personally that they are on purely friendship terms, Tina just finds it very difficult to manage her personal life with this friend of hers. She feels its just not okay when she has to respond to his messages or chat messages when she is at home or at work. It becomes difficult to do so. Whenever she mentions such a topic of taking a break, takign a step back, being careful about her relation with him as others may perceive them differently, or not discussing every personal thing ---- He somehow feels it and takes in a very negative way. he gets so emotionally disturbed and extremely sad that it becomes difficult for her to cope with distancing from him and coping with the communication level. But this debate keeps happening between them all the time. Hassan is so attached to her from a long time, he confides in her all the time. He became closer to her after marriage knowing that his wife was normal about this so he comfortably has kept the same relation going as is but Tina feels that it will be a problem for her future married life, her present family life. She too finds it very difficult to distance out from him specially when they are so used to discussing each and every thing with each other. Whenever she tries to hide things just for distancing reasons he seems to find them out himself. Tina is very emotionally disturbed and keeps having mood swings because her parents & siblings find it odd when she is messaging or chatting throughout and if she avoids then Hassan takes things differently.If she even suggests cutting off Hassan goes crazy & gives such reasonings that she cannot convince him on it and she drops the idea completely as she herself finds it difficult to detach from a friend she has been best friends from a long time. She is very confused. Please suggest some things for her to do.
Ohh myyy!!! whats is wrong with him?? He needs to go home to his wife, right away!!!
P.s I don't think the wife know's the reactions of her husband other wise she'd be really pissed!!