Something doesn't seem right in this picture.
Tina KNOWS what she needs to do but she's giving into temptation. Simple. She needs to be **STRONGER **with following through on her decisions. If she has **DECIDED **that she will take a break and maintain a distance..........then she needs to do this no matter how much Hassan pouts like a baby. If she's that concerned about the effects of this friendship on her future married life..........then she needs to be stronger and stricter with both herself and Hassan. Like anything...that has become a habit or an addiction....you can't decide to change and then give in the minute you start feeling weak. If you're seriously serious about making changes in your life......then you gotta exert more will power in making the effort.
In the beginning, Hassan might pout, but eventually he'll get used to it. They'll see each other at work.....there's really no need to continue their conversations when they're both at home with their families. She needs to be firmer about not answering his every phone call at home. She doesn't have to eat lunch with him at work........she can change her plans.....come up with excuses. If she does this often enough.......he'll get the idea that she is SERIOUS. But if she keeps giving in to him.........even **HE **will be able to tell that she's not serious about maintaining a distance.
ALSO.........as I said earlier......something here doesn't seem right. I get the feeling that Hassan might be falling for Tina if he hasn't already....but perhaps he doesn't want to admit it. For a married guy to start crying and getting so emotional because his friend is not talking to him.........is strange. That time he spends talking to Tina and crying over her can be spent on his WIFE and CHILD. I don't think that Hassan would tolerate his own wife getting this close to and emotional over another guy. I do not comprehend why it is hard for HIM to understand that he's taking a risk by getting close to Tina and that eventually people might attach unsavory labels to their relationship. Even if his wife is okay with him talking to Tina right now..............in the near future she might NOT be okay with it. If his strong emotional attachment to Tina becomes apparent to his wife in the near future..........it could jeopardize his marriage. ** WHY IS HE NOT AS WORRIED ABOUT THIS AS TINA IS? BEING A MARRIED MAN, ESPECIALLY A DESI MARRIED MAN, WHY IS HE NOT AS CONCERNED ABOUT THE POTENTIAL NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES SUCH AN INTENSE RELATIONSHIP CAN HAVE ON HIS MARRIAGE AND TINA?????????
Does he not have male friends?** I'm surprised his wife is not suspicious yet. Crying over someone and becoming depressed is a rather strong reaction. I'm thinking he might be attracted to her............at least subconsciously.......if he's becoming so emotional. As far as Tina is concerned.............if she can't be firm with him and herself...............then either she just is not strong enough in setting boundaries........OR.........she too has a subsconscious crush on him. Just my two cents.
Thank you RV for the prompt reply.
I think in their relation they are just too used to having each other around all the time. Their major worry before his marriage was whether or not his wife will be okay about it but since she is normal about it and knows that her husband is happy with his male or female friends she lets him have his space. Hassan gives his wife due time and loves and his baby a lot too. But he has been so used to this friendship of his that it is difficult for him to let go. They are just dependent on each other because of all the mutual topics they have. This is what i can gather from their relation because i know them in person and i know Hassan is satisfied with his wife. I also know that Tina is not the sort of person who would fall for a married guy. They have been close throughout which is why they are unable to let go off it suddenly. As for Hassan, his fears of his married life being effected by this are already gone as his wife is aware of his friends and they both are happy about it so he really does not get convinced or feel a reason to let his friendship be terminated. For a male, if he has no pressures from his parents, siblings or his wife, he would never have any sort of problem communicating or having a relation with any one. This is true for Hassan too. He is at peace about it as he from no where has any pressure.
On the other hand, Tina yet is not committed anywhere but she keeps thinking of the odds that maybe her husband or in laws will not be okay with it. Hassan tells her that when if ever she gets committed, they will try to establish a bond between Hassan & her husband but if incase he is not okay about it he will take a step back so that no issues arise. For now, he just tells her that you are not committed then why worry about it so much, we will handle when the time comes. He also says that when you are with your family i will not call or message you. Tina was telling me yesterday that even if he does not communicate with me while i am at home that may help out the balancing thing but there is still the guilt of hiding from the family. There is nothing wrong she is doing that is she does not have an affair or she does not love him or anything so there is nothing wrong with it but she says that my family even though are okay with me having a male friend may not be okay about me having a male friend with who i have some 12 hours communication.
At work they dont have lunch together or anything. They have more communication on phone or via the computer. When they are with their friends or family, they communicate less as per my knowledge because when she is with me i dont see her on the phone much so i assume they have some boundaries set with that.