Distressed friend, need help.

[Le_Pakistan]

Re: Distressed friend, need help.

@R.A.W

Better to take guidance from a good scholar (in the light of Quran and Hadith) before telling it to parents. Even though she needs a shoulder to cry on and a lot of support, at this time of her life, but she would never want her parents to suffer from the most hurting mental & spiritual torture (never ending pain) till the last breath of their life. If ignorance is a bliss, they might have few years left in their life, let them live peacefully in ignorance. Otherwise their every night would be filled with tears of blood, their aching hurt would never find rest, probably not till their last breath. Their health might deteriorate, and this news might act as slow poisoning for the rest of their life. Please, for the love of Allah (swt), don’t take away from them the happiness that they are presently enjoying in life.

If she is strong enough to quietly handle it now on her own (through help of a guide/ideal), her agony would slowly inshaAllah end after few years, as she would gain strength with time and other people already don’t know about it. On the other hand the more shoulders she gets now to cry on, the more lasting would be her wound that would be refreshed (by one person or another) every time it start to heal. Besides that, do you think she would be able to look into their eyes (for the rest of her life) after this painful fact is disclosed to her relatives. If you carry your own burden now on your own (even though a bit painful) you would gain strength with time, otherwise time would only help you gaining more sympathizers who would only look at you with pity/sorrow every time you pass by them. I might be wrong, Allah knows Best!

If such a thing ever happened to my daughter, and I pray to ALLAH (SWT) to always protect my daughter and everybodies child from such evils, then I would want her to tell me that.
I would never want to live in happily in lala land, while my child is suffering and being tortured in silence. I would be more heartbroken if my child hid it for me and I found out much later.
Yes the parents will be sad, but they are not the victims here. Their child is. And she needs their help.

OP I am going to comment as if I am talking direct to your friend.

You should definitely tell her parents about this. Don’t make assumptions of how they might react or how they might disown you. One should never think for other people, because others are often more understanding than we had thought. That is why stop thinking what they might do or don’t. You will never find out if you don’t tell.

Even if your parents don’t believe you (and I doubt that), atleast you did tell them. Nobody will ever raise his finger to you and blame you for not telling it before, if this matter ever comes out.

And why will they not believe you? They are your parents. While there are cases of our people who rather live as ostriches and stay in denial, there are many many sane people out there too. Itni gayee guzri hamari qaum nahiN hai, jitni hum bana detay hain.

Don’t care for the rest of the family or the potential men who wont want to marry you. They are not worth it anyway.
What matters is your parents and your bond and trust with them and your own peace and happiness. And that is why you should tell them now. This happened very recent so don’t wait any longer. Because the more you wait, the more that kanjar will get a delay and the more everything will be in his favour.

So you dont be affraid for anything sister, because you are not the wrongdoer here. Don’t punish yourself by staying quiet. Remember that ALLAH TALAH is with you and he will give you justice for sure.

Also do report it to the police. Even if anyone convinces you not to.

Wish you all the best of luck and In sha ALLAH he will definitely get his punishment.