Just when i thought, things can’t get any complicated..
things do get complicated…
I haven’t slept the whole night.. becoz there’s something bothering me:
My sweet MIL recently went to pk to do some shopping.We had decided that i can chose my outfit for the walima.. As im the one who’s going to wear it.
She did mention abt the jewellery i dont know wht color you are getting for ur joda, if it does not match ur clothes, then get an artifical one. Tht was before she went to PK.
So after so much research for the walima joda etc. I found a very nice joda, and i had an idea wht kind of jewellery i want. Yes not typical gold. Anything fancy, one kind of i could wear it many times. Instead of the big yellow gold ones.
I dont know if this one is real gold, but would fancy this kind of jewellery.
Now she’s back and she has shown me the jewellery she has made for me with very much love. There was sooo much exitement, i hold my breath.The moment she opened the box.
I couldn’t shuttered a word. I was completely in shock. It was totally not my style. It was against my style. It was antique bronze golden jewellery. And there was kind of a dark grey/black kind of color in the necklace. and the little hanging balls were of yellow gold, which looked awkward. becoz the yellow goldon balls were outstanding.
The earrings were okee.. but totally not mine cup of tea. My MIL even said to me i had this kind of color becoz it will go with any kind of color u’ll chose for the walima. I was in my own world at tht moment, thinking abt wht color would suits this set. I had had an idea of wht kind of joda nd jewellery i would like to wear. And seriously my dreams are tearing apart.
U might be thinking im getting over. But its soo true, i wanted to have a modern look at the walima. And the jewellery just uuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have often seen brides, the jewellery does not match the clothes. I want everything to be perfect. If am wearing a modern outfit, i want modern jewellery to fit. I had to lie to my mil tht it was very nice. becoz she did soo much effort and it was quite a heavy set. But still im soo much dissapointed and i dont want to wear tht set I have been thinking wht color would match the set and the only color i can think of is grey or black
Your MIL went to a lot of effort to get that jewellery made and she is very excited for you to wear it. She got it with the best of intentions for making you look beautiful. It's very generous of her to let you choose your own dress - many girls don't even get to do that much (me included)!
Sometimes you need to let go and just let them be involved in the process. At the end of the day you can pick your clothes, shoes, makeup/hairstyle etc. Don't get bogged down by this little detail. Your MIL will appreciate that you wore it happily and proudly, and if you create a drama out of it, it will never be forgotten that this is how you responded to her generosity. This is not worth losing sleep over.
I know its easier said than done but try to work with what she got for you.
She did it out of love and since this is a beginning...try not to let anything get in the way of maintaining a good relationship with her after the wedding.
Have you tried putting the entire outfit together...clothes, jewelry, etc. It's possible that it will look nice when when everything comes together.
Fashion is sometimes quirky/contradictory...and surprisingly it can work. Having a modern dress with antique jewelry could make an interesting combination.......like bridging the future and the past in one harmonious look. That actually sounds creative/unique....and this unique combo can lend a "modern" feel to it. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise....maybe this is an opportunity for you to create a look that hasn't been done before. Give this idea some thought.
Hmmm....maybe you can try visiting a very good/reputable beauty parlor. Explain your problem to an expert stylist and ask her what her suggestions she has in trying to make your walima dress and jewelry go together. She might have some good ideas....about draping the dupatta or setting your hair in a way that makes a profound difference in your look....or she may do wonders with makeup that'll bring harmony to the jewelry and clothes. An expert stylist might help calm your fears. If this is possible, then making that visit soon as opposed to waiting till your wedding draws near would be better. It will gives you more time to figure things out.
Aww my heart goes out to you, but since u admit it was from good intentions and love & not a place of being rigid in traditions or anything I think you can work with the dress & move on. The gold balls could always be an accent rather than the actual colors of the dress. Umar sayeed has done some monochrome colours & combined them with soft pastels, so you cold really work with that.
With the styling makeup , yo can always downplay the jewelry.Go for something soft & refined rather than typical gold eyeshadow & bright red lips and I think u can make it work. And rock it. I know it’s hard not to be disappointed bu t taste is such a personal thing & it can be so subjective. I have a twin & our tastes are sometimes miles apart.She loves what I wold never wear in a million years, and I love and she cant wrap her head around what appeals to me. ur MIL probobly thought the grey and black was edgy and modern from her perspective, so she was trying to incorporate what you may like. I’d say concentrate on the future and OWN whatever yo’re wearing cuz I have seen peoples opinion change once the bride/bridal party rocks the dress with confidence.
If you have to go with your MIL choice jewelry, may be post a few pictures on the forum, there are a lot of designers who will be able to suggest color(s) that will go well with that type of jewelry. I have hard time imagining that something bought with so much effort can be that horrific =D
The other option is, may be purchase some artificial jewelry online and match the beads and stones with the color you had/have in mind for your walima dress.
do a switch if possible, go modern on the wedding and stick to a traditional dress that goes with the jewelery for the valima.
Or, just wear an artificial matching set on the valima. If the earrings are not bad, then just wear the earrings with some stone beads with the valima outfit
I know it sucks, but look at it this way - your MIL purchased this for you out of love. Please don’t kick up a fuss about it because it will never be forgotten and you may strain your relationship with your in-laws before you even get married. So I suggest you try to work with it, and you might be pleasantly surprised because it’ll probably all come together really well, and even better than the look you had on your rukhsati.
Also, I would say feel blessed because not a lot of girls get a say in anything when it comes to their outfits, etc.
wow!! dramatic much? im sorry i have no input for the above…well actually…why not try matching the Jewellery with a new Dress if your havent pick one yet?
or
Not wear it and tell her you are going to keep it for another occassion…thanks MIL
I wouldn't suggest buying an artificial set. Since, you have the choice of buying your walima outfit, I would suggest matching the outfit with the jewelry.
